Goodbye 2018

Happy New Year (maybe a little early)!

It’s the time of the year when people post about how terrible 2018 was and how they hope that 2019 won’t suck as much. Originally, I was going to put all of this in a podcast episode, but since a few crappy things happened, I decided that maybe it was better to just make a post about it.

So what’s happened this year?

  • I restarted my personal journal podcast again after being disconnected from podcasting for several years. I didn’t think it would last, honestly.
  • I traveled to India for the first time and only barely missed the catastrophic flooding in Kerala. It was a really great experience. I realised that you shouldn’t always listen to the horror stories people tell you before you travel. Your travel experiences differ from anybody else’s and it’s better to go places with a sense of adventure than with terrible expectations.
  • I got married to a guy that, to this day, I’m still happy with. He’s really supportive, loving, and still as sexy as ever. (I’m looking forward to bring this guy home to the USA. He’s never been. This is going to be fun.)
  • I moved to a rural area of Australia and the experience has been interesting, but I know living out in the country isn’t for me. The fear of bush fires happening is a reality almost every day and it’s so different than what I’ve been living in ten years prior.
  • I got a new job that I like. (My partner also got a new job and we work at the same place and for the same organisation… which is why we moved.)
  • I am doing whatever I can to get a handle on my anxiety. It’s been a bit difficult to find out what works best, but I’ll get there eventually. I know that it’s going to improve my quality of life immensely!

What are my hopes and dreams for the new year?

  • I’m focusing on going back to the USA at the end of 2019, hopefully for a few months. I really miss my family and friends back in Texas.
  • I’m hoping to move closer to Melbourne again. You don’t know a good thing you had until it’s no longer there.
  • I’m hoping to get another good job that I like. I’m hoping to save a lot more money as well.
  • I really hope I can get a handle on my self-confidence, especially professional.
  • I need to learn how to say no without feeling incredibly guilty for it.
  • I hope to get my strength back and become healthier. Eating better food? Possibly. Exercising, probably. Starting sometime. I kinda miss my defined chest.

I don’t think that any of my “goals” are unobtainable. I basically just need to look after myself a bit better.

For you guys reading this, I hope that you have a fantastic start of the new year and I hope that your 2018 was interesting and made you into a stronger person!

Reshuffling This Wedding Kerfuffle

Since the US presidential election and the politicians of Texas’s need to protect the state from things that aren’t godly, I’ve done a lot of thinking about how I am going to handle my wedding plans. The main reason why I wanted it to happen in Texas is so that my relatives and friends could be there for it, assuming I made a firm plan to do the whole marriage ritual thing. I haven’t made up my mind whether I wanted to do the marriage ceremony thing, or a celebratory thing afterwards. I’ve said before that I usually don’t like being the centre of attention unless I’ve got a dangerously high blood alcohol level. I don’t want to be that drunk on the day.

Lately, there have been talk about a stupid, unnecessary opinion poll about whether two adults of the same sex can get married or not here in Australia. To save you time from reading it, I said I don’t like this poll, but if I actually happens, marriage equality has my full support, obviously.

Assuming that passes and the government in power start to do the job they’re elected to do (still bitter), and marriage equality happens, I’m thinking to do it here–the first chance we get. Then, next year, I’ll do a small celebratory thing in the USA. I probably will have to talk this over with my immediate family first. I probably should talk about this with my partner as well! Haha.

As I said, these are just thoughts floating around in my head. I still don’t have dates. In fact, the dates have been scattered even more than before. This isn’t really good when you’re a planner.

I was also looking for a reason to use the word kerfuffle too. šŸ˜‰

Gay Money

I posted a pretty interesting question on Twitter yesterday that said:

...does the USA or Texas deserve my gay foreign money?

gaymoneySomething that you probably already know is that I, like 64% of Americans, hate the current direction of US politics. We have an ineffective leader who is more interested in keeping his own interests afloat and making those with the inability to distinguish the difference between church and state happy. We have a man who is too busy making himself look good rather than making our country look good in control, something that I never thought would happen. We have a man who claims to be a LGBT+ ally, yet disrespects people in our community every chance he gets.

One of the things I am most afraid of is planning my wedding there and some religious nut job getting his way where it can’t happen. He’s already attacking trans people and trying to dismantle my right to marry the man I love.

I don’t like this feeling.Ā 

I’m rethinking whether I want to get married in Texas or not because I don’t agree with our hateful politicians. The services and goods I purchase there (plus the taxes I pay) go back to paying this never-ending cycle of hate. I don’t really want to be a part of that. It’s a bit sad because I wanted to do it locally for my family, but I am not confident in the USA (or Texas) anymore. I just don’t.

Why should I give more of my money to them if I can avoid it completely? (As a US citizen, I’m still required to pay tax on foreign earned income.)

I don’t see things getting better. I see them getting worse–a lot worse. So I’m going to back away with caution for now and either wait for marriage equality here in Australia, or jump across to New Zealand and do it there. Maybe then, I can go to the USA with some Oreos from here (proudly made in China) and have a cookies and water party.

I’d much rather spend money in a country that has laws protecting the people of my community. Though I can’t get married here, I still have more legal protections here than I would in the USA, simply because of who I love.