New TIP Guide

A view of the new guide

I’ve been a little eager trying to get the new guide ready, and I’ll admit: It’s here, but it’s not perfect. I’m going to work on the bugs in my spare time.

You can reach the preferences under the search bar on each page. You can choose which view (grid, list, and compact view), how many episodes appear on the guide, and whether the audio autoplays when you request the player. On the player, there is an extra preference whether to use the TIP-themed player or use the browser’s built-in audio player.

Note: There are a few problems, but I’ll be working out the bugs over the next month or so. Things should work just fine right now though.

Take a look at the new guide right now.

Rediscovering idioPod

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I was looking around on my server today to see whether I could clean some things up off of it and lo and behold, I came across every podcast episode and video I made for the podcast I made between January 2007 and the end of December 2010.

In that time frame, so much happened. I had just moved back to Australia to try to fix a relationship that wasn’t really working out. I was quite unhappy in general and very depressed a lot of the time. I went to the USA to possibly move back and my dad passed away. Then, I returned to Australia still hoping that I could save my relationship. All of a sudden, I just stopped updating my podcast and called it quits.

I downloaded the short videos I made and watched them. The quality is awful. I don’t know what I used to record them, but it was probably acceptable back then. They had videos of my dachshund I owned here, my ex, my places I moved into (which were VERY unpresentable). It was sad because as I watched them, I found it very sad because my ex looked very disinterested. I think by that time, he was just not all the way there himself but noticed that I made him laugh a lot.

I have to give him credit because if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be here in this country today. I still find it really hard to talk to him though. I think he cares about me even today, but that’s where it ends. That’s fine. I go through time periods where I do miss the good times with him. He wasn’t as awful as I made people believe. Things change over time and it’s why I was so scared getting married when I did. (My ex knows I got married as well.)

Confronting your own past can be so scary. I felt like I should confront some of it today. I don’t think I can listen to myself talk for 3 years worth of podcast episodes though so the videos are all I did. Luckily, they were short (and very pixelated). It reminded me of the good times I’ve had (except for my messy house… ex had a bit of a hoarding issue… it wasn’t bad, but he was very unorganised and liked to collect things he couldn’t use).

Maybe I’ll share some of these episodes later–or all of them. I still have the feed for it. And they’re still on my server (except they are not reachable by the public). Maybe people could point out the changes from then to now. I feel better now. Not the best, but I feel better. I  kinda miss the way things were, but it’s better to move on from that.

Returning to Sanity

disconnectIt happened again. My internet was out for about a week. Weekends without unlimited* access to YouTube can really drive people crazy. It’s especially bad when the data I get from my mobile phone plan is really small.

I had been working with three different titles for my last podcast episode and didn’t know which one I was going to pick. I went with what it is on this weblog.

When I talked about addiction (in this case, to the internet back in my teenage years), it made me think what exactly addiction does to us as a person. Over my lifetime, I’ve seen people get hooked on some really awful things and for the most part, I’ve avoided it. I never really experimented with drugs of addiction. I’ve never been a big drinker (and when I do it, I end up really regretting it the day after when I realise how foolish I had become). My biggest addiction was the internet and looking back at some of my previous relationships, it is probably one of the contributing factors of my deteriorating relationships. Even to this day, I derive a lot of enjoyment from being in front of the computer, mostly coding, getting ideas, and stuff and then later, thinking that I’m not destined to pull off great things.

That’s just being hard on myself though. I’ve been working on a few things and quite proud what I accomplished with minimal access to resources. I need to get the finishing touches on the guide and show you what I’ve done.

Husband’s telling me to spend some time with him, so I’m going to go do that.

Some more stories of my past are coming. Hopefully I won’t get so upset with myself about how awful I was to my parents.

Much love…

TIP #13: My Past: Halloween and Internet Addiction

With my 20 year high school reunion happen soon and the arrival of the scariest month of the year, I talk about Halloween when I was a kid, why I don’t want to go to the reunion, my internet addiction as a teenager, and a few other things. (Sorry. Internet is out and can’t remember. Feed won’t be updated until I get a connection again.)

Hi, October!

Welcome to October!

You know what that means, right? It means it is creepy and spooky month! This month, I’m planning to tell you about the spooky things that have happened to me. I’m also going to talk a little bit about my childhood and Halloween in particular.

This month, I’m also hoping to show you a new (and marginally improved) podcast episode guide and, later this year, implement a little system to reward those people who have helped my podcast and website improve and thrive. This means that people who have passed around my website’s URL, talked about my podcast, have a link on their website, or left regular comments will be able to access the podcast episodes that I don’t post. That’s just the beginning though. I’m adding options that people can contribute to my website (if they want to) and being rewarded for it. 

I’ll say more about that after I get some new and slightly rejected podcast material. I’m also thinking about releasing my very old idioPod episodes (from 2006 to about 2008) as well to those who support me in one way or another.

We’ll see how it goes!

TIP #12: Slip and Slide

I talk about my little (and embarrassing) accident I had in early September, how important it is to check on your elderly loved ones every so often, and how I don’t like my real estate agent right now. I also talk about my upcoming changes and goals with my podcast episode guide.

Also: Please donate to Kerala’s Flooding Relief (if you can). A little confused about what I’m talking about? Have you listened to the end of TIP #9: Thank U India?

Why Editing Audio Is So Difficult

Why is editing audio, especially when it is my own voice, so hard for me? Why do I neglect editing out all the umms, uhs, and other filler?

Sad story here, folks. One that I probably wouldn’t want to talk about on a podcast, so I’ll just type it here. Most of my life, and even today, I have been made fun of because of how I sound. When I was a kid and I started kindergarten, I had to go through speech therapy so I could speak correctly. People would make fun of me because I couldn’t pronounce certain letter combinations, including my sister–but that’s what sisters do so I forgive her.

As I got older, I think that I improved, but of course, if it wasn’t making fun of the way I struggled speaking correctly, it was my voice’s tone. It wasn’t masculine enough. People would ask me about it constantly and some guy was nice to bully me about it every chance he got, though he sounded like he was born into a 10th generation inbred family. Oh, and he died a few years after school…

So past that, it affected me into adulthood. I’d chat with guys (and, yes, girls) online and then they’d want to talk to me. Sometimes, people said “Oh, you don’t sound like I thought you would” and sometimes that would be enough for them not to want to talk to (or chat with) me anymore.

So yeah, I moved here and people sometimes can’t even understand me. Sometimes I’d date people and ask them (by message) if they could understand me. It was usually “mostly”. One of the people I dated said that I sound a lot sexier and manly with a sore throat.

No one’s ever told me they like my voice, basically (except the guy who said it was sexy… when my throat was sore). My partner now makes fun of me even after I’ve told him that it really bothers me. It just makes me extra cranky and even now, it makes me a little sad too.

It all boils down to this: I don’t like my speaking voice. Listening to myself talk is really hard. Going back over the stuff I record is like torture for me. That’s why I’d rather not go back and edit things out.

Podcast Olds and News

Isn’t it weird? Everything that I want to say has been said in my podcast episodes! That’s why I’ve been a lot quieter lately.

When you’re living in a quiet country town, not a lot happens. I tend to record episodes and not post them until 2-3 weeks later. It’s a bad thing, I know. You probably all think I just moved here. I listened to a little bit of #10 and I think that was recorded right before I moved (but in my defence, I added to it, I think).

I’m going to try to record a little later, especially when it comes to talking about what’s happening around me.

a1ef0058-272d-4aea-8a37-eb5553cf5ec7I’m also working on a new podcast episode guide which I hope I will finish within the next 6 weeks. It’s useable now, actually, but a few things don’t work. I’ve themed a player but it has some volume control problems and right now, the built-in browser players work a tiny bit better. Like, you can’t pick up the position on the player and drop it somewhere to play. You can pretty much go back 30 seconds or forward 30 seconds, which I feel is pretty handy – but just that by itself isn’t helpful.

I have some work to do on that.

You can see what it looked like in its early stages but as of right now, it looks a bit different. I’m trying not to say much about it at the moment and it’s a bit hard not to. It looks a bit better than what’s there, but seems to take up a bit more room. But, I feel like if you see more of what you want, it’s okay. The old layout will be preserved to a point.

OK! That’s enough blabbing from me!

Before I forget:

I also wanted to say thank you to the people who have been sending me feedback and comments! I really appreciate it. Really!

TIP #11: Not So Bad

I talk more about my life in rural Australia, my visitor coming from the USA, my partner’s coworker (and a possible ghost hunting adventure), waiting for documents to go back to work, lack of internet, frustrations with my non-existent internet, and the fact that living here isn’t really so bad (but it’s only been a week (as of 7 September 2018)).

Kerala still needs your help to rebuild their state. Please go here to donate.

Remembering Dad Today

This isn’t something that I like to bring up, because I’ve told people that I’d much rather remember someone’s life rather than their death, but about 9 years ago, my father passed away very suddenly, about a week after I went back home to Texas with the intention of moving back to the USA.

There are a few posts on Facebook that made me remember my dad’s passing away. I saw a lot of “memories” where people were posting really sweet and caring messages to me.

During that time of my life, I had been really depressed already and by the time I got to the USA, I was already taking some pretty strong anti-depressants so I wouldn’t be constantly unproductive, sad, and feeling miserable all day. When my father passed away, I appeared to take it quite well, I guess you could say. The medications I had to take kind of numbed everything and made me appear to be mostly unaffected by his passing away. I guess you could say that those medications helped me appear to be strong when my mom and sister were having a really hard time.

Now that I am unmedicated, I think back about how that appeared to people. It’s something I think about a lot. But even before I got off the medications, I made a decision not to mourn constantly over his death, but to remember how well we bonded in my adult life. Yeah, my childhood wasn’t full of pleasantness, but he really made an effort when I was older. He apologised for not being the best dad, and you know what? That’s perfectly fine. I am happy with that.

I do miss the guy a lot. I miss going back home and dealing with t his craziness that I didn’t really get until I was older. He was full of wisdom that I ignored when I was a rebellious teen. You look back and appreciate those things. As I type this, I’m not sad or crying, but I’m appreciative of what I had when he was still around.

I also still dream about him which also makes me happy. There are a few times where I have gotten really sad in my dreams, but the rest of the times that I dream about him, it’s been really nice. I might sound crazy, but that is my way of remembering him and reminding myself that someday, somewhere, and somehow, I’ll see him again. I’m content with that.

That’s what I’m thinking about at the moment. I don’t know it would go if I talked about it in a podcast episode, so I’ll just put it here. I’m just remembering my dad and the good times I’ve had.

I just don’t think that it’s nice to remember death dates. I probably wouldn’t have remembered this if I didn’t look at Facebook today and/or yesterday.