I’m a bit frustrated. I told myself I wouldn’t write the negative aspects of my relationship here, but I feel like I need to get some of it out.
In relationships, I tend to be the one who doesn’t like to argue. I’m sorry, let me rephrase that. I don’t like to argue if I’m not the one who started the argument. Yeah, sounds logical, right? Even if I do start arguments, I tend to cool myself down if left alone. After that, I apologized for being so hot-tempered.
Some things, I don’t believe need argued about. Little things, like not replacing a bottle of shampoo in the shower, not flushing the toilet (nothing super gross), or throwing away a really, really smelly dishcloth, shouldn’t be something that starts an argument. The dishcloth thing happened yesterday which turned into me being called lazy, ungrateful, and I also got some F words sprinkled in there. Now tell me, when is something like throwing away a stinking, disposable cloth worth all of that? It’s not. (I’m the one that’s told that I have anger issues. It takes a LOT to set me off.)
My response to these things is that “it’s fine” and “I won’t do it again” (though if something stinks that bad, I’m going to trash it). That doesn’t mean that I ignore the problem. It roughly translates to “It’s fine. It’s not worth arguing about. I said ‘OK, I get it’ and let’s leave it at that.” It feels like in my past few relationships, except for the one before this one, it’s like they want to start arguments. I don’t have a temper and certainly don’t have an anger problem but in those cases when I’m being called names, told that I am extremely lazy and wasteful, I just remove myself from the situation. I’ll walk away and go do something I want to do while trying to release whatever resentment I have built up for the moment.
I just don’t understand why some of the smallest things warrant such a high amount of attacking. I really don’t. This isn’t the first time it’s happened and the other things were so small and dumb, that I’ve completely forgotten about them. It seems to always happen after getting back home from somewhere. It’s just getting really old to the point where I have to complain about it here.
A healthy relationship should have arguing, but not in the frequency it’s been happening around here. It’s especially not supposed to be happening over really small things either. Nothing makes me madder than wasting my time over something so stupid. Seriously, why not save that time for something more serious like “Why did you buy a new iMac when you already have 4 other computers without telling me?”. Some things, I admit, are worth getting bitched at. A rank-smelling disposable, paper towel going into the garbage isn’t worth it.
Arguing over dumb stuff is a main reason why I start re-evaluating my relationships. That’s not a good thing. It’s especially not a good thing when it happens so often and when I already have issues with relationships. We will see though.