TIP #11: Not So Bad

I talk more about my life in rural Australia, my visitor coming from the USA, my partner’s coworker (and a possible ghost hunting adventure), waiting for documents to go back to work, lack of internet, frustrations with my non-existent internet, and the fact that living here isn’t really so bad (but it’s only been a week (as of 7 September 2018)).

Kerala still needs your help to rebuild their state. Please go here to donate.

Remembering Dad Today

This isn’t something that I like to bring up, because I’ve told people that I’d much rather remember someone’s life rather than their death, but about 9 years ago, my father passed away very suddenly, about a week after I went back home to Texas with the intention of moving back to the USA.

There are a few posts on Facebook that made me remember my dad’s passing away. I saw a lot of “memories” where people were posting really sweet and caring messages to me.

During that time of my life, I had been really depressed already and by the time I got to the USA, I was already taking some pretty strong anti-depressants so I wouldn’t be constantly unproductive, sad, and feeling miserable all day. When my father passed away, I appeared to take it quite well, I guess you could say. The medications I had to take kind of numbed everything and made me appear to be mostly unaffected by his passing away. I guess you could say that those medications helped me appear to be strong when my mom and sister were having a really hard time.

Now that I am unmedicated, I think back about how that appeared to people. It’s something I think about a lot. But even before I got off the medications, I made a decision not to mourn constantly over his death, but to remember how well we bonded in my adult life. Yeah, my childhood wasn’t full of pleasantness, but he really made an effort when I was older. He apologised for not being the best dad, and you know what? That’s perfectly fine. I am happy with that.

I do miss the guy a lot. I miss going back home and dealing with t his craziness that I didn’t really get until I was older. He was full of wisdom that I ignored when I was a rebellious teen. You look back and appreciate those things. As I type this, I’m not sad or crying, but I’m appreciative of what I had when he was still around.

I also still dream about him which also makes me happy. There are a few times where I have gotten really sad in my dreams, but the rest of the times that I dream about him, it’s been really nice. I might sound crazy, but that is my way of remembering him and reminding myself that someday, somewhere, and somehow, I’ll see him again. I’m content with that.

That’s what I’m thinking about at the moment. I don’t know it would go if I talked about it in a podcast episode, so I’ll just put it here. I’m just remembering my dad and the good times I’ve had.

I just don’t think that it’s nice to remember death dates. I probably wouldn’t have remembered this if I didn’t look at Facebook today and/or yesterday.

TIP #10: Country Living

I talk about the many speed bumps of moving to and living in rural Australia and how frustrated I am with the internet services (which is why my podcast episodes are so out of whack right now).

Please donate to Kerala’s flooding relief efforts.

Life on the Outside

Hello there! I am back from moving across the state to the middle of nowhere and I finally have the internet back after a few little problems. The next two podcast episodes will be full of a lot of complaining about what’s happening. Of course, the complaining is going to continue because I’m not really feeling that great here.

I mean, it does have it’s okay moments, but I guess the tensions around here are really high. I’ve gotten my first migraine already. I can barely breathe the air out here. I’ve slipped and feel. My blood pressure is really high–I can feel it.

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Tonight is just a sleep because I want to sleep night.

Getting unlimited access to the outside world has helped me calm a bit down.

It’s funny that the further away I get from a big city, the more stress I feel. That’s all from me. New episode coming for the next few Fridays.

Anyway, I’m a bit more back. Talk to you guys a bit later.

Next Episode is Delayed Again

This is just a little message to tell you that the next episode of TIP is again delayed until next Friday because I still don’t have the internet at home.

It was supposed to be connected a few days before I moved in but guess what? It wasn’t.

It wasn’t connected correctly so there’s a technician or installer or whatever coming next week. Maybe I will have it next Friday. Maybe not.

I’ve already gone over my mobile data limit so now we just have to wait.

Thanks, TPG. Thanks, NBNco. You’re the best.

I Don’t Want to Talk About It Right Now

Got your attention? Was it because you felt sorry for me? Yes?

I thought I’d break apart some of the whining about my moving over 4 hours away and again bless you with something that’s been happening on my Facebook wall. This is one of my most favourite things in the world:

If you don’t want to talk about it, doesn’t that mean that you shouldn’t post it on social media?

What I think about when someone posts something like this is that they just want some attention or something. Apparently, this person is still not wanting to talk about it. They did, however, post something about not knowing what they can possibly do to lose weight and they’ve been a bit big since junior high school. A few times, I told this person how I managed to keep a bit trim, and basically said small changes in diet could really add up over time and keep good habits. But this person “can’t”. For some reason, exercise is just too much to ask. You know, no time, son is in football, no one else in the house wants to drink water instead of Coke. The list goes on and on.

A few years ago, I decided that a lot of the people on social media don’t need to know everything about me. They don’t need to know what I ate for all three meals because I sit there and read people’s stuff and I’m like who the hell would care about that? Not me. If I don’t care about the little mundane things I do, why should anybody else? It kind of makes me think about the stuff I talk about on my podcast.

I end up complaining a lot about social media, Facebook in particular. I don’t link it here because I basically have it to let my family and friends back at home know what’s happening on this huge island. Election times are a bit difficult for me because it’s hard not to become this political monster. I think everybody knows that I don’t like who’s leading the USA right now. I could probably say the same thing about Australia, but at least the people in control aren’t monsters who think they can do no wrong and blame everybody else when things don’t go their way.

Anyway, I am doing fine and as you’ve seen, I will talk about it right now because I think sometimes talking helps. I hope whatever is bothering this person gets worked out one way or another because this is kind of what my blog is about–therapy. Cheap therapy. It does help sometimes.

It Will All Be Okay (I Hope)

As you could see, I’m in the middle of moving things around so I haven’t had much time to post here. We’re just waiting for our utilities to get connected before we move, so I’m staying mostly with my partner’s family. I thought that it would be good to get as much of the family living thing as I can get before I move. A lot of you know that I have been struggling to come to terms with the fact that I need to move and with only a few days left in the Melbourne area, I’m starting to really feel it.

I used to complain a lot about the place where I’m living because, really, it’s not in Melbourne. It’s about an hour and a half away from Melbourne and, to me, it’s a little isolated. It’s not too terribly bad but I had lived in Melbourne and it’s suburbs mostly while I’ve been here. I still want to go back and live there, but I think of it this way: I can either be forced to work my ass off to pay for a place to live, or I can live a little further away and have a little extra money to feed my addition to mints and electronics. I haven’t been able to save much while I’ve been away from Melbourne though because I’ve been doing training stuff (which I am not being paid for, may I add). Since I found out where we’re moving to, I started thinking maybe the current city I am living in isn’t really that bad, you know?

I think that living in a rural area will help me save money and appreciate the city more when I get to go there. I will be living walking distance from the place I’ll be working (and my partner will be working at the same place doing a different job). Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), the place we’ll be living is a bit slow and boring. I can’t just jump on a train and go to Melbourne anymore. Melbourne is where all my friends live and I’m not really sure that I will be able to find other people like me (cough cough gay) to relate with where I am moving to.

I only have a few more days until I move away and I don’t think I have all the time to do the things I want to do before I move over 4 hours away. I guess I’ll be fine though, since this is supposed to be a temporary move anyway. I keep trying to tell myself that, but the move where I am currently living, or the place I’m moving from, was supposed to be temporary too and I spent a lot longer there than I expected.

I am a little anxious and scared to go away, but this is stuff we already know. I just need to look at the positives though. I will be saving money from being so bored all the time and work being so close. The rent is cheaper. I won’t be alone. I think I’ll be fine.

Stuff Moving Day

It has begun. Today is the day we have moved all our stuff out of our place. A big truck is bringing all our stuff about 300 km away to the new place as I type this. Through movers were quite nice, friendly, and professional at least.

I’m sitting here in an empty place and it’s just a little sad.

So empty. It’s always a bit depressing when you have to move. It’s extremely depressing when you have no furniture or computers. I know. First world problems.

I might be limited at what I can do until I move next week.

TIP #9: Thank U India

After a slight delay, I am back from my podcasting silence. In this episode, I talk briefly about my trip to Kerala, India.

Donations to Help Kerala Recover From Flooding

At the end of the episode, I talk about how the flooding is affecting Kerala and ask you to donate towards the reconstruction of the state following the floods. If you donate, please let me know by contacting me.

Random Video and Photos

New Episodes Are Coming (Eventually)

Hi, anybody who reads this.

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Photo by Mat Brown on Pexels.com

In case you’ve missed my last few podcast episodes, you would know that once I left India, I had to come back home and start packing so I can move. I’m having really crazy feelings about moving far away from Melbourne, so my mind hasn’t been in a really focused environment for writing or recording new podcast episodes. (They are coming.)

So, I haven’t done much of anything. I haven’t even really documented my trip in India like I had hoped to do. My mind was pretty much occupied with moving to a place that, at the time, I had never been to.

As I type this, I have been to the place I’m moving to and it’s really quiet. It’s too quiet. It worries me a little bit, but at least it will be good for me to focus on my main career. Also, there’s a week-long gap where I won’t have electricity so I’ll be hanging around in Melbourne a bit. (Something that I hate about this country. Somehow it takes them 2-3 weeks to come and flip a switch, but we just got approved for the place the other day too.) There’s no telling when the internet is going to be connected either.

I’m also going to be computer-less starting Wednesday because my MacBook Pro decided to bite the dust while I was in India. (Hard drive went out. Hard drives and I don’t get along very well.)

Yeah, things haven’t been too pleasant around here.

So, I’m delaying some of my planned podcast episodes a week or two. I’m still planning to do them. I’m still a bit amped to do it, so that’s good. It’s just hard finding the time because I need to have privacy to do these things since my partner isn’t at work and calls me every 5 minutes to do things.

UPDATED: Recorded and posted a new episode. Enjoy!

If you want a glimpse of what’s coming up, check the episode guide.