I Didn’t Want to Meet You (Again) Anyway

What constitutes masculinity? (PS: This body type will never be me. lol) (I grabbed the pic from Homotrophy but it’s got wieners showing. Interested? Google it instead.)

Something funny happened last night. And by funny, it makes me think how shallow some people can be. It’s not a secret that my partner and I both have profiles at sites that are used to meet guys. We both basically like to look at other guys and sometimes chat. I make it very clear in them that I am partnered and not looking for any kind of relationship other than a friendly one (plus I’m not wanting to lose this special little gem I have).

A guy who I chatted with on and off during the day, decided he really wanted to meet me. He asked me what I was doing on Tuesday and I said that I was working in the afternoon in Melbourne. So we were planning to meet then (but I don’t think I would have–you know, anxiety gets the best of me sometimes). He chatted with me a bit longer, called me a “really nice guy”. His messages though were just really stale. Not very exciting. He didn’t want to reveal much about himself but he wanted to know all about me. Fun stuff, I guess because I do like talking about myself. I found him a bit boring and uninteresting. He then asked me to meet him today at noon. I said “ok” though I wasn’t really interested. (This is a really bad personality trait about me.) He asked to chat with me on the phone, so I talked to him about five minutes. Boring conversation. Oh, and he lacked a little thing called chat and/or phone etiquette.

Then he said that he had to go to bed and that was okay. No problem. It was a blessing. Then, he said that he had met me before. I don’t really remember him but he said that I wasn’t masculine enough for him when he met me last time and how I’m not his type (same from this side). Anybody who has heard me knows that I don’t have a deep voice. I’m not muscular. I’m just hairy and bald (and damn it, we’re hot!).

I very, very barely remember meeting someone a few years ago who I didn’t feel any kind of connection with. I didn’t really feel that connection then either. I remember him just being really boring, how we seemed not to be into each other, and how much I wished the meeting would end. That day, I had removed his contact number from my phone. (Same thing happened this time, though I didn’t bother making him a contact in my contacts. I just added him to WeChat (which I hate). I removed him and hopefully I won’t run into him anymore.

This is going to sound a bit funny, but before, I’d let something like this really bother me. Maybe I’ve matured since then. Maybe I can’t be bothered to meet new people who are totally ignorant that I am partnered. Maybe I just don’t like uninteresting people. Maybe I shouldn’t even be on these websites (other than just perving). I am happy with who I have at the moment though I give him a hard time sometimes.

It made me realise something though. Gay men can be a little shallow (and boring and a wee bit dumb too). Yeah, we have our preferences but I’m not looking to impress anybody and even if people were looking friendship, why would something like “masculinity” matter? (By the way, he is the only guy who has complained that I’m not “masculine” enough.) This also made me realise that I really don’t like to meet people and probably shouldn’t be on those stupid sites.

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