Mardi Gras and a Road Trip

floatOver the weekend, my best friend and I were able to spend some quality time together and it was great. On Friday, we went to one of the local Mardi Gras parades. While I was there, I stumbled on the street curb and pulled a muscle in my foot. I have been hobbling around for the past few days. I managed to get a lot of beads but was pretty much just picking them up off the ground. (For those people in Australia who think Mardi Gras here is a gay thing: wrong. It’s basically just some people on parade floats throwing beads. In New Orleans, women show their boobs to get extra beads. If guys show their willies, they get arrested. If the women show their boobs at the local ones, which are family events, they probably get fined or something. I haven’t seen it yet, but then again, I have probably been about three or four times total.) I took a few pictures of myself in them wearing all my beads but didn’t take a full picture. I took the beads off and then said – well, that sucks. I’m not putting them on again!

meOn Saturday, my friend and I just went to the city and went shopping a bit. We stayed overnight and got some Mexican food. It was really good. At the hotel, I slept sooo well. Unfortunately, we got up about 15 minutes before the check out time so we went back home and I fell asleep for an hour or two.

I am going to miss her a lot when I go back. She’s taking me to the airport in a few weeks. I am kind of scared to go back because I have a huge mess to deal with. I guess it needs to be done. I won’t dwell on it though so I can enjoy my last few weeks here.

Hope everybody is well! :)

February is for Love

It’s another one of those times where I’ve written about 4 or 5 posts, but didn’t post them. A lot of them basically said “Welcome to February” and one of them was a post about all the nice things you can do for your partner to let them know how much you love them every day instead of Valentine’s Day. I realised that they sounded a bit corny, but they tend to work quite well. I guess I could share a few of the things I did to keep my longest-lasting relationship together for as long as I did. But then I remember how much of a struggle it was to keep it glued together for the second half.

It's all around you...

It’s all around you…

I have never been a big Valentine’s Day kind of guy. Luckily, the boyfriends (and even girlfriends) I’ve had also don’t put too much emphasis on the day either. It’s not that I’m cheap or anything, but I believe that there are 364 (sometimes 365) other days to spread the love. Sure, you can’t run to the store and buy bears that say “I love you” or candy in heart-shaped boxes, but at the end of the day, does any of that matter when it comes to showing your partner that you care?

Speaking of that, a lot of times my partner was either gone on that day or I was over here. My best friend and I would do something really corny. Sometimes we’d go looking for candy and fart up and down the candy aisles at the store.

Oh! My little ideas on how you can show your partner that you care? Here they are:

Say “I love you”

heartI don’t know about being told that someone loves me all the time. Hearing it over and over gets a bit old so I keep my “I love you”s a bit quiet. But, if I live with my partner, I like saying it before I go to sleep at night. I remember when I was with my past partner I would do this every night when we were together. I do like to hear it at least once a day. Sometimes I like hearing it more, but before I sleep is the best.

Going Out and About

I like to call myself a cheap date, because I am. I have never been a big fan of going to expensive restaurants. I always appreciated going to small, cheap restaurants with my partner. As long as it was good, that was good enough for me. In Australia, I love going to KFC and J already knows this. I love spending time together where we’re not gloating over how good the food is and just enjoying each other’s company. To me, that’s the most important part of going out to eat–to enjoy the other person’s company.

Sex, Planned

A lot of people like spontaneous sex, you know, like surprise sex just whenever you feel like it. That’s always a good thing but sometimes I like to plan it, especially when we’re both busy. It gives me time to think about it. I think about all the things that we can do and also all the new things we can try. It works up until it’s unbearable and at the time when we finally do it, I am really excited about it. It works out pretty well, but I’d hate for things to be a bit planned all the time.

Notes, Everywhere, Notes!

funny-love-notes-poop-before-you-goOne of my favourite things to do is to write little notes and hide them in my partner’s stuff. I write little notes and stick them in socks, underwear, books, in the bottom of a bag, or something like that. I did this with my last ex a lot and when he was having a bad day, he’d come across one and he’d send me a message saying how sweet it was and how he was having a bad day up until then. I think it’s a sweet thing to do. They weren’t always super sweet though. A lot of times, they were silly. Mostly they were sweet. It seemed to work out well for us.

You see? It is the small things that matter. Sometimes this stuff costs nothing. It’s all about showing love. Though I’m not with J right now, we have a lot to make up when I get back. I miss the guy quite a lot and he’s been wonderful while I’ve been here. I have chatted with his handsome face every day since I’ve been here. Sometimes we snip back and forth, but I guess that’s just part of being in a relationship.

So, hopefully, I would have told you something new. And if these things are not new to you, hopefully it will remind you to do small little things for the person/people you love. After all, it’s the month of love!

Oh, and did you see my new blog look? It’s full of hearts and red! :)

And if you want to buy that red heart paperweight (which is hand made), you can get it at Amazon!

My USA Winter of Laziness

pusheenlazyThe end is near. Well, it’s nearing. Um, I mean the end of my trip is nearing. I’m starting to plan my last few weeks so I can see the people who want to see me before I am off to Australia for another 2 years. Before I got here, I was afraid that I would be incredibly bored and the time wouldn’t pass very fast at all. I thought there wouldn’t be anything to do and in several ways, there isn’t much to do and it’s made me very lazy. It has also caused me to gain more than 10 kg (22 lbs).

I had planned originally to travel a bit within the USA. My first part of my trip was meant to be from LA to Denver, taking the most scenic route possible and stopping by some major attractions like the Grand Canyon. I didn’t do that because I thought that I really wouldn’t be in the mood to drive after flying for 15 hours and I doubted even one day of rest would make me feel well enough to drive. Though I would have loved that, I didn’t go. I was also going to go with someone I met online as well so we know how well that could have ended up. (In my defence, I was thinking of doing this before I met my current partner.)

A friend (ex housemate) of mine had invited me to visit New York while I was visiting but he’s been having a lot of tennis-related injuries. I had planned to go sometime in February when, hopefully, some of the snow and stuff was gone. I decided not to do that either because at this particular time, I am thinking about maximizing my time here with my Mom, my family, and my dog.

So I guess basically it’s that time of my trip when I am thinking about what I’m going to do for the next few weeks. A lot of people were expecting me not to go back to Australia and if the circumstances were a little different, I probably wouldn’t bother and would have already found work here.

In the next few weeks, I’m going to start my search looking for new work in Australia and though I’m getting a late start of 2016, I am hoping that this year is at least 300% more productive without any major problems. (Even if there are, I’m confident I can get over these problems!)

On another note, I just want to say thank you for reading this. I don’t say thanks very often, so I’m glad that you’re here and a part of my online life! (Keep in mind that while I am here in the USA, the times that I post are a little off.)

Still Searching With Mixed Results

Sorry for that little piece of negativity last time but in a way, I shouldn’t apologize because this blog is full of stuff that I randomly think of.

houses-for-rentMy partner is still looking for a place for us and he’s run into some highs and lows. He did find a place and went for an inspection. He told the guy we would be living with that we are a same-sex couple and he said that it is fine. The pictures I saw were the “large” bedroom. I say “large” because I only saw a bed in it and one wall was the closet and it was completely mirrored. (I don’t like huge mirrors in my bedroom. They’re creepy.) My partner had a look, came back, and he told me that the place is a mess and it smelled like dog. Why would it smell like dog? There’s a big dog living inside which wasn’t really disclosed in the advertisement. (A big pet is something that should be disclosed.) My partner wasn’t impressed.

What bothered me most was that on the way back home, the guy sent a message to my partner saying that it wasn’t going to work out and that the guy doesn’t think he’d be happy/comfortable there. I have a bit of a problem with those reasons because the guy said he was completely happy having a gay couple live with him. You see, the correspondence between the both of them was done by texting. So they didn’t really see or hear each other until that meeting. I don’t know this for sure, but the reason is probably due to my partner’s race. OK, I wasn’t there so I don’t know what the conversations were like so I have a feeling that is what was wrong.

Over the years, I’ve rented my place out and time after time, I have heard of South Asians being rejected a lot. I have actually seen some of the racism that they have to deal with and it bothers me a whole lot. I have always been like this, even before I dated South Asians. I basically don’t like to see people being treated terribly, ever. I have seen some of it, especially being in an interracial relationship which is not so common.

Luckily, he messaged someone about a place and let them know up-front that we are a gay couple and they said that’s fine because they have a lesbian daughter with a partner. So that’s nice, unfortunately the place won’t be available until March. But the messages seem very kind and sincere. I hope it works out because I think an older straight couple would be nice to rent a place from. They live next door, so that is good for repairs and stuff too.

So hopefully it all works out! He’s doing most of the dirty work when it comes to all this. Since I had my own place most of the time I’ve lived in Australia, I haven’t had to be the person looking for places. This is a new era for me. :)

My concern now is saving money to go to New Zealand later this year. I think I can manage if I work hard and save. :)

Am I Freeloading or Am I Just Pathetic?

Is this really me?

Is this really me?

Alanis Morissette has an advice column in The Guardian. The one I read today was about freeloading friends. I guess if you don’t know what a freeloader is, let me tell you what it is: it’s basically a person who takes advantage of others’ generosity without giving anything in return.

 

I read that and started thinking about my role here in the USA during this trip. I will admit that my mom, my best friend, my best friend’s mom, and others have done a lot for me while I’ve been here. I think they know that it wasn’t easy for me to come here and the money I’m using from Australia is worth about 30% less here. I feel a bit bad that they’ve done so much for me and I’m not sure whether I could ever really repay them for all the generosity they’ve shown while I was here.

It also has the side effect of feeling like I am getting a lot of things for nothing which I don’t like. When people do these kinds of things for me, it makes me feel pretty bad. Keep adding these good gestures together, and it starts stacking up and adding to the terrible way I feel.

I do help my mom with all the stuff that she doesn’t want to do and I help my friend and her mom with whatever they need help with. I guess it’s not too bad. I still feel like it’s not enough.

I also have to admit that sometimes I do the same thing in Australia. I guess that is why it’s so important for me to get a job where I have a set schedule with guaranteed hours when I get back. That was one of the big problems. Being a full-time student, I would put most of my time studying (and worrying about money) and working two jobs where I could have a flexible working schedule. That meant that I could work 5 days one week, and not work two weeks after that. It really became a problem and I didn’t do anything about it. I think that if people didn’t help me, I would be in big trouble. I want to get out of this cycle. So, that’s why I can’t go on many trips. The big trip I want to take this year is to New Zealand with J.

I guess I’ve whined enough and I don’t know whether I have strung this post together very well. It has taken me a few hours to get it together because people are always trying to chat with me.

A Crowdsourced Film: India in a Day

This is the fourth time I have started one of these posts. I was writing the other ones and realised that I was saying stuff that is way too personal to post here. (I will actually post more of these things here probably later in the year but need to plan how I am going to do it.) For now, I will share a video I came across the other day. Basically, there was a day where Google India asked people in India to film what was happening in their life on that day and send it to them. Then, some editors would put together a full film about it. Maybe Google India could put it better:

On October 10, we invited every Indian to come and tell us the story of 24 hours in evolving India. India In A Day – executive-produced by Ridley Scott and Anurag Kashyap, directed by Richie Mehta and filmed by you – is that story. This first look video, which was previewed during Sundar Pichai’s keynote at Google For India, tells the stories of people whose lives are being transformed by the Internet. The feature-length film will release in 2016.

And here’s a first look at the documentary:

I’ll be pretty excited to see the finished product. I’ve always wanted to go to India to explore. Maybe I will have that opportunity to go with a certain handsome guy of mine.

For those of you who don’t know,  I am an amateur filmmaker myself. I just haven’t shared anything I’ve done with anybody because I feel like there is a lot of stuff I can improve on. :) I was supposed to make something while I was here, but the weather hasn’t cooperated with me so I might make it in June or July. I’m not sure. The music for it has been done though.

The Moving Out From Across the World Task

Wow, I learned that I really should go back and read what posts I make from my tablet. I wasn’t aware that I could wear pantries. I could wear panties, but well, I don’t. I am not very flattering in them, not that I’ve tried. I kinda look like an ape in Andrew Christian underwear, so I wouldn’t even try undergarments for women.

house

So what’s happening with me?

Before I left Australia, I gave J the difficult task of moving out where he is now into a new place. There are reasons why I wanted him to move out of where he’s living now, but I’m not going to go into that here. I think it will be nice for him to have his/our own space. I am a bit limited at what I can do. I can’t really go do any inspections and it seems like my accounts in Australia mostly have that annoying “we’ll send you a text message before you log in” thing. My phone doesn’t work over here, so I can’t get any text messages with my Australian mobile number. I feel a bit terrible for that. He’s filled out some applications for places and a rejection has come in. He was afraid that I am angry with him because of it, but I am probably the one responsible for that because I am over here and my work is so sporadic, I can’t even estimate how much money I earn per year. Sounds awful, right?

I know he reads this, so I just want him to know that I don’t hate him, I’m not angry, but I am more upset because I feel useless telling him to do something that is so hard. I probably should have thought about this before I left. If his work place was closer to my place, I would just tell him to live there but even I want to move away from there which is why we’re doing this. I love this guy. He means a lot to me and I am a happy guy with him. :)

I’m counting down now and I have less than 2 months left. If I had the money, I would just move my flight forward a bit, but my mom and I made plans to go somewhere in February and I’ve already arranged to have my friend bring me to the airport in early March.

I hope everything works out but even if I’m not living with my partner when I get back, I’ll still love him to bits and pieces. He should know that. And if everything does work out for him, then that’s awesome too. I can’t wait to see him regardless of what happens with this stuff.

 

Solitude and Clarity

This won’t be a long one tonight. I think I’ve created a bit of confusion with my last post for some reason. I haven’t reread it yet but I am still scheduled to leave on my original date. As much as I’d love to stick around here in the USA, I need to get my life restarted again.

I haven’t really wanted to be chatty lately or really thought to meet up with my friends here but think I need to before my time here comes to an end. It will be here before I know it. I’m feeling quite useless here at the moment so it will be here before I know it.

I am just getting tired of the constant barrage of instant messages lately too. It’s been insane and I’ve been ignoring a lot. It’s not too be hateful but I need a break.

My partner’s grandmother passed away today as well and I feel awful that I’m not there to be with him. I’ve tried chatting with him most of the day and telling him about the panties I’m wearing to cheer him up. (I’m not wearing any panties. Tee hee.) I also sent a message of condolence for his mother. It’s cool I can do that. I still feel bad because she’s an Indian mother and I’m stealing her son from her. Why couldn’t I have been born a nice Indian girl? He probably wouldn’t give me the time of day then.

These are ramblings of a crazy man. Just ignore it. I basically want to say right now I’m searching for me time and by God, I’m gonna get it.

Halfway Over! Time for a Plan That Works

halfway-signSo, my vacation to the USA is now halfway* through. I think the three-quarters mark is a little bit harder for me to deal with. When there are only a few weeks left, I start to get really sad because it hits me that I may not be able to see my family for a while. Shortly after I booked the tickets to come here, I realised that maybe a 15 week vacation isn’t the smartest or most economically sound thing to do. I also have to admit that I booked thinking that I may not return to Australia for a while so I can be around my family longer and so that I could rekindle a relationship with someone (I learned real fast that I wouldn’t have been very happy doing this).

Looking back, it is nice being around my family. As much as being in a small town with small-minded people bothers me, this place isn’t awful. Yes, it’s slow and some of the people here can irritate the piss out of me but I can see why people don’t want to leave or go too far away for too long. What makes me thankful that I’m going to Australia again is that I can’t take the people who hail from the Church of Trump. These people around here are happy to take away any rights gay men and women have gained over the past year. I don’t know about you, but that’s really scary. It’s scary enough for me to want to escape. Another reason I want to go back to Australia is that I left J behind and miss him a lot. I miss people there and I miss my life in Australia. I do not hate the USA, I just think that some of the things the people here are dumb. I can also say the exact same thing about Australia. I mean, they did elect Tony Abbott, the worst PM in history.

I’m glad that I had this opportunity to come back home after such a long break. I don’t think that I would have been able to do this without help too. What I do know is that this has energised me a bit and it has made me want to make some very big changes when I get back to Australia. I can no longer afford to work casually in my main job, casually in my secondary job (don’t be fooled, these 2 jobs do not bring in enough), and to go to class. I can no longer put off looking for work because it will interfere with a trip I have planned. I want to be able to get my financial troubles worked out in Australia and stop living paycheck to paycheck (or coming up short) and also here in the USA. I just can’t do it anymore.

Additionally, my relationship that I began last year is really important to me as well. I think that will knock around my priorities a bit and probably piss people off but that’s life. My exes were always pointing the fact out that I ignored them and did my own thing, and I don’t want this to happen with this relationship because the guy is pretty special to me. I may not say it a lot in person or in chat, but he has been great. Other people have been great – but this level requires a little more effort to work.

It’s hard being in that position where you want to make people happy but not be in a position to do much about it. I’m not disposing of anybody, but just reshuffling how I think. 2016 has to be the year that I do my very best. I’m getting older and not getting any more beautiful or richer. I will just have to find a job I want and study hard (ALMOST DONE!).

I guess those are some things to think about as my trip comes to the halfway mark. Since I’m losing a few months of pay and being in Australia, I thought it’s good to get the plan going while I’m here.

* This is an approximation because no one needs to know the exact date/time I leave except those privileged to have that information. 😉

Scouting Tales

boyscoutsWhen I was a boy, I was in the Boy Scouts. It was an interesting experience but I can’t say that it was great. No, nothing creepy happened or anything, but the scout masters I had seemed to do a half-assed job. Needless to say, I didn’t really do very much. I did get to go to some day summer camps though and admittedly, had a bit of fun there.

My scout masters were a bit weird and I think they genuinely liked doing it, but a group of about 8 boys ended up going to about 2 boys: me and their son. There was a reason for that though, I discovered. One of the boys that was in that group told me in high school that the reason why he didn’t go back is that we would meet up at the scout master’s house which was like a hoarder’s house. The scout masters were a bit on the not-so-tidy side when it came to hygiene too. I know it’s not nice to talk about people like that because I am pretty much a slob myself. Years later, after I became a Mormon, I ran into them again at church and it was super awkward. I haven’t seen any of them in a really, really long time. Every time I would run into the den mother (I think that’s what she’s called), she’d give me a hug.

One of the memories I have from the summer camp thing is that I went with my scout master. He would come pick me up in the morning and we would go to the big park where it was being held. One morning, I arrived at camp and my scout master asked me to pass a Ziploc bag to him that had a sandwich in it. I picked up the sandwich and there was a huge cockroach inside the bag. It was really gross. I didn’t say anything about it but was totally grossed out. The next day, I hid under my bed when my scout master came to pick me up. My parents were gone to work so I was like 7 or 8 years old and I stayed home alone that day. My family still brings this up.

The only things that I remember doing with this group was carving a car out of a block of wood and racing it and walking around the scout master’s neighborhood while he explained some of the plants that were around. Something else that freaked me out is when he opened up a plant that had a swollen part in it and there was a big worm in there. (I hate worms, by the way.)

HovercraftI subscribed to the Boy Scout’s magazine, Boy’s Life, and don’t remember much about it but what I do remember is the section of advertisements. One of them was a do-it-yourself hovercraft. I would have such cool daydreams about making this hovercraft so I could fly anywhere. I was expecting to be able to float down the street or something like that. Of course, being a kid, I was totally expecting to be able to fly myself up in the air and to another state maybe. I was thinking of the Jetson’s car or something like that. That would have been so cool!

Then, my dad dashed my hopes by telling me that even if I built one and got it to fly, I’d have to keep it plugged in and it would have to be on a flat surface. I pretty much gave up on making one at that point because what fun is it to fly around a room?

 

I think if it’s done right, Boy Scouts isn’t such a bad thing. It was pretty fun though I think I didn’t do much. You know, I think I didn’t get any badges now that I think about it. This is probably a main reason why I love adventuring so much and always want people to go hiking with me. I just don’t think that my scout masters were the ones who motivated me to go out and see and learn.