Webcam is Up, Temporarily

A blast to the past!

A blast to the past!

Are you ready for a flashback to the late 1990s or even the early 2000s? (Believe me, the link to my cam looks like a throwback to early web design, but that’s okay.)

I put up one of those retro-looking webcams on my site for some reason so people can see me while I’m here in the USA. (So this is a non-scheduled, temporary thing.)

I’m not even really sure why I did this. It’s not even a priority for me to even turn it on, I’m not going to bother saying “I’ll be here at this time or that time” because I know (and you know) that I won’t do it. Also, no one is really interested in what I look like anymore since my twink phase is over.

My boyfriend likes to ask me for pictures of myself while I am overseas so I thought this would be a great way for him to stalk me a little or at least see a different picture of me every so often.

Speaking of that, I was able to chat with him on Skype the other day, so I am feeling a bit better now. I miss the guy quite a lot and will be excited to see him when I see him, whenever that may be.

Enjoy–I use that term very lightly–while it lasts.

No Relaxation for the Anxious

Hi everybody. I’m almost over my jet lag though I ended up going to sleep at 4 am and I woke up around noon today. Since Friday, I have been  asking myself what exactly I’m going to do with myself while I am here because I don’t know if I can sit around idly all day like this. It’s Monday and I feel a bit stressed and I feel a bit sad too. You’d think that I would be a bit happier being home for the first time in five years, but the fact of the matter is that I am feeling really unproductive. I have plenty of personal things to keep me busy and a lot of things to think about.

I think one of the big things is that I feel a bit lonely. Thankfully my family is here, but it’s sad to think that everybody has basically grown up around me and people have moved on. It’s sad to think that I’m not even a spring chicken anymore and that most of the things I do and the way I act is a bit immature. This getting older stuff really sucks. (My birthday is in about a week.)

I haven’t seen my best friend since I have been here but I am thinking that I may go to her house tonight. I need to do something and see some people, I think. There are about three months of my trip left and I’m already feeling like this. It’s not my family’s fault or anything, I’m happy that they’re here and they keep me occupied. It’s just that I am feeling a bit useless. That isn’t good. I don’t want to be here and be depressed.

I do miss my life in Melbourne. I won’t miss the flies or the hot weather, but I miss being around people there and the environment in general. I miss being in a big city where I constantly have options of things to do. It’s also the place where my boyfriend is, who I miss terribly. I’m sad that I can’t chat with him as much as I did but the time difference makes it a little more difficult. I need to chat with him a little bit at some point but not sure how or when.

I guess that’s how I am feeling at the moment. I am thinking that I will look for a temporary job while I’m here so that I have things to do and income coming in. The USD would really be nice to bring back!


I’ve been in the USA for a day now and it’s been good so far. Today, I’m using the day to catch up on my sleep and to get over my jet lag. It’s a bit weird because I have to keep taking breaks from whatever I am doing to sleep. I’m really starting to question what I am going to be doing for the next several months.

Basically I just want to say that I am here… and I’m tired. My dog being here and sleeping within my sight makes me tired. So… I’m gonna take another nap.

Bye for now!

In the Air


If you’re reading this now, there are a few things that could be happening right now:

  • I’m still in Australia but packing/preparing to board/boarded or eating my last meat pie for a while,
  • I’m hurling through the air in a big metal thing over a huge ocean, or
  • I’ve arrived in the USA and I’m jet lagged so bad that my day is night and my night is day and I’m wide awake, and hungry for pancakes and roast chicken at 3 am.

Ah, how I hate passing over 15 time zones. I hope that I won’t be a zombie for a week like I usually am!

So with all of that said, I hope you all are doing well and I will catch you in a few days either here or on Facebook. I am so ready for Thanksgiving…

Bring. It. On.

Time Alone – Can I Handle It?

It’s not a great way to start the week, but I feel like crap. I came down with a sore throat and cough a few days ago. I hope I am feeling better by the time I leave for the USA.

Let me start this off by telling you a little story: I booked my tickets in April of this year thinking that I probably wouldn’t come back to Australia for a while. I was going to book a one-way ticket to the USA but the return ticket was about $38 more, so I decided to book a return ticket for as late as possible. The reason I did this was because I thought I would be able to rekindle an old relationship but around May, I decided that I wasn’t going to put any effort into making my previous relationship work and decided to come back to Australia. I told myself that I wouldn’t meet anybody or date anybody until I came back. Well, I went out on a limb and started messaging a guy on OkCupid who turned out to be incredibly sweet. We discovered that we go to the same university and we met up. Of course, the day we first met, I had the same kind of sickness I have now: sore throat, sneezing, coughing, headaches, etc. That was in early June and since then we’ve been spending at least a day per week together. Right now, he’s been staying with me 5 days per week while he does his placements near my place.

Fast forward several months, and this guy is now my boyfriend. I haven’t really talked much about him like I did my ex because I’m a bit older now and I’m a bit more private. But in a nutshell, he’s originally from India and works in the same field as I do. (That explains why India is listed under the places I am traveling to on the left sidebar.) He’s open about his sexuality and his family knows, so that’s a good thing. (I’ve dated Indians before but they were either bi, closeted, or required to be married to a woman at some point.)

The guy I’m with is incredible and I think it’s going to be hard for me to be away from him for this long. As the time approaches for me to leave, it’s starting to set in that I am really going to miss this wonderful guy. You see, before, there was a guy who I really liked and I was booked to go back home for about 6 weeks. My father passed away and I ended up staying home with my family for about 8 months. I came back, and the guy had a new boyfriend (who I think he’s still with). I sometimes get scared that the wait is too much. He has assured me that he will wait for me and I trust him. Expecting someone to wait more than three months for me to return is a lot to ask.

It feels a bit sad for me because I am really going to miss him a lot. We’re going to try to spend a few quality days together since my last week here is a bit full.

Speaking of that, we’re supposed to meet up in a few hours and do something. I think it’s a good opportunity to take some pictures together. :)

Bye for now, chat soon, everybody.

Where are the comments?

It looks like my commenting system is having some problems lately. A few people have complained lately that the ReCaptcha thing isn’t working out and they’re right. I’ve tried to leave comments and it just isn’t working so I’m trying to fix them or find a replacement solution.

To those who have something important to say, you can try leaving a comment and if it doesn’t happen for you, feel free to send me a message. You can do this especially if something I’ve said is wrong or I’ve been misinformed or if you just want to start an argument with me.

That’s all for now! Just thought I’d let people know that my comments are not treating me well.

Update: I think it’s all fixed now.

November Memories

November is Here

November is Here

I don’t remember the rhyme that I learned in November while in elementary school. In fact, I only remember the one from October, so very sorry for that! For some reason, I wished I did because it’s always fun to go back and remember things from when I was a kid.

When I am in the USA, this is the start of the time of year that I love. In Texas, it’s cold but not too cold so that I am miserable.

Thanksgiving, I have to admit, isn’t my favorite time of the month mostly because I am usually sick. So, I can’t eat much and want to sleep all day. In the past, my family would either go spend time with my mom’s parents or my dad’s parents. We’d alternate who we spent time with but we’d end up visiting both sides of my family. As I got older and my cousins have grown up, gotten married, had kids and stuff, it has changed a little bit. My mom has started doing it at her house now. I’ve always loved my mom’s cooking. I don’t think I have been back since my mom started doing this, but I am looking forward to the change. Our family dynamics have changed a bit so I am not sure how I am going to contribute. This is the first time that I have been back since I came out as gay to my family. My dad’s side of the family has a problem with it. If my mom’s side of the family has a problem with it, they’re not as vocal about it and that’s okay.

For those of you who don’t know, the day after Thanksgiving is our big shopping day. I guess you could compare it to the sales happening on Boxing Day except it’s a bit more dangerous. They sell TVs for $30 and of course stores stock about 100 of them and 3,000 people want them. So you have people murdering other people for a cheap gift for their kids. I will sometimes go if alcohol is involved the night before since these sales start at 4 or 5. A few times I have been drunk when I go (but I never, ever drive… we go as a group). People who know me well know that I hate shopping and find it exhausting. When I shop for 30 minutes (and don’t know what I’m getting), I feel like I have worked for 12 hours straight. I hate it. Unless I find a really good deal, I may just chill out for a while and relax. Since I’m not much of a drinker, I’ll probably skip the drinking.

black friday craziness pic

Black Friday Battlefield

Between Thanksgiving and my birthday, there is about a week or so. I don’t do anything special but I start thinking about what I’m going to get people. My Christmas shopping is usually done in mid December. Since I am a bit broke at the moment, people are getting cheap gifts! (Surprise, family members who read this!!!)

I’m excited and a little depressed thinking what the holidays are going to be like. I am happy to spend some time with my family but my grandmothers are getting older. I know this is sad, but I want to remember them as being indestructible. I know I can’t stop this from happening. I think this is something that every family has to go through at some point though. I’m sure my mom went through the same thing where she would go over to her grandmother’s house and then it just stopped at some point. I should soak up all of this before it’s too late, I think. I am so happy that I am going to be spending time with my mom and sister and the rest of the family, though. I know they’re excited to see me. I know that without my friend’s help, I wouldn’t be able to do this either so I need to get him a few goodies while I’m there. Maybe before I go too!

I’m still fudging around with my return date. I am thinking about moving it to early February. I’d have to pay extra though since there’s a fee for changes but I sorta know that the length of time that I’m staying is way too long. My other option is to get a job when I am there to earn some USD before I come back.

If you don’t know (or want to be investigative), the reason I had booked so long is so I could spend time with a certain someone in Texas. I thought about it and I think that it will just be a waste of my time and plus, I have already met someone here.

I know this is a long one (lol), so I will go for now. As you can see, the usual things keep appearing in my head. I’m in such a bind because I love this country and there’s a guy here that I have to leave behind for a while. Thankfully, he’s understanding about this. He’s trying to talk me into going to India (Kerala) at some point next year. THAT makes me nervous because I fear the unknown.

That’s it for now. Talk to you guys later! Busy few weeks ahead but I’ll try to write here regularly to calm these anxious thoughts in my head.

Happy Halloween


Tastes like refined sugar!

Not that I really care about this here, but for anybody who do the Halloween thing, Happy Halloween. I hope your day/night/party goes well!

When I think about Halloween, I think about going trick or treating in my grandparents’ neighborhoods. I remember going as a cat most of the time but remember the last time I went, I was a “compulsive gambler” because nothing is scarier than an addiction.

As I said before, I don’t do much on Halloween though some of my friends here do. I’m just not interested in doing much of anything. BUT the good thing is that my mom is making broccoli and cheese soup tonight, and she’s saving me some in the freezer for when I get back! :)

Pre-Departure Update (Passport Acquired)

The day I complained about my passport, I actually got it. It apparently had been sitting at the post office for two weeks. It’s totally my fault though because I got one of those registered mail notes in the mail and thought it was something else, since it said that anybody can pick it up. Since this is something like a passport, I didn’t really think that anybody could just walk in and get it. Apparently so. That was a bit horrifying to think that anybody really could have taken that out of my mailbox and go to the post office to pick it up.

But it’s done, thank goodness. I got it that day and now I can finally relax a bit. I have been able to accomplish a few things this week:

  • Received my Australian passport (which was my fault why it was so late),
  • Did one of my next to last business meeting until I leave,
  • Got my Australian (Victorian) driver licence renewed,
  • Suspended my gym membership that doesn’t get used very often anyway,
  • Picked up a gift for a family member that I ordered ($299 -> $269 -> $219… that’s a good deal!), and
  • Scheduled an eye doctor’s appointment so I can get contacts to last me for the next few months.

So it’s been quite productive but it also means that I’ve been burning a hole through my already burnt wallet.

So that is all for now! I hope you all are doing well and hopefully be back in a few days… or something.

Elusive Reclusive Exclusive

You may have noticed that I have a month left here in Australia (temporarily, I will be back)… actually, I have less than a month now, more like three weeks left. Guess who hasn’t gotten their passport yet? Why, it’s me! I know that I have a few more weeks left so I still have time. It’s a bit stressful because they said it would be done by the 15th. Here it is, the 26th and I still don’t have it. I got the email that it was being sent out on the 14th. If this thing is coming from the Melbourne office which is about 18 km (a little more than 11 miles, my dear American friends) away from here, they must have a snail delivering it or something.

Cartoon Snail Mail

The snail responsible for delivering my passport, probably

It’s just making me feel really uneasy. I guess I’ll wait for them to deliver it today or tomorrow then give them a call and ask them where it is. With all the trouble I had with getting one, I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t lost in the mail.

Another thing, I haven’t been getting out much because I’m working on my final projects for the semester. Once my last one is in, I have less than a week to prepare for my trip. I’ll have to worry about how the guy I’m seeing will take it. (He’s been fabulous by the way. If you follow me on Twitter (approval to follow required), then you have seen him.)

I have been sneaking away though. Last night, my friend and I went to a new place in the southeast of Melbourne called Burgerlab. It was really, really good. I had what they called an atomic chicken. Instead of listing what it has, you can read about it on this nice little snapshot of the table menu. (It’s not on the real menu, but it should be.)

Burgerlab creation: The Atomic Rooster

The Atomic Rooster. Delicious

Spicy food!!!

Burgerlab menu specials on table. Love spicy stuff.

It was really good though. I would so go back and eat another one (or two, if I let myself).

That’s all from me for now – I need to go back into my project work! See you all when I have another break.