This morning I read something about a lesbian couple shopping around for a wedding planner and this wedding planner said “…Due to my strong personal belief I do not feel comfortable planning a wedding for lesbian couples.”
I realise that I’m probably going to get sneered at for saying something like this but feel like I really need to because a majority of the people in the Facebook comments were absolutely appalled that this kind of thing could ever happen, especially in 2015.
To me, this is something similar to asking a mechanic to make me a birthday cake for 100 people. Maybe this mechanic does have some mad baking skills but then, what if he or she didn’t? Is it okay for that mechanic to say “You know what? I haven’t baked many cakes for 100 people before. I can barely make one for 4 people”? Yes, it is okay for them to say that.
I could then throw a huge fit about it and say well, I demand you bake this cake for me right now and I’ll pay you handsomely for it. Sure, this mechanic could bake me a cake but would he or she be putting their heart into it? No. That’s because it’s not something they’re comfortable with. Maybe I’d get a really crappy cake.
Okay, so that is a bit extreme, but maybe a little unrelated. Let’s substitute the word “mechanic” for something like “Japanese sushi chef”. Sure, the chef could possibly make a cake–but are they any good at it? Maybe. Maybe not. I wouldn’t know unless I was told.
Basically, I wouldn’t want someone planning my wedding if they weren’t comfortable doing it for any reason. Sure, I’d be disappointed, hurt, and maybe a little angry at first, but then I’d move on and find someone who is happy to plan it and be paid.
Regardless how far gay rights have come over the years, there are always going to be people who don’t agree about a ton of stuff on the matter. That’s life. I also wouldn’t want them to be forced to do something that they don’t want to (though, in my opinion, the experience may be enlightening but we’re talking about religion, most likely). Not everybody will be okay with two people of the same sex and that’s okay. That’s life.
What I do have a problem with, may I add, is when stores, restaurants, or any public, everyday service refuse to provide a service based on the look of someone whether it’s two people of the same sex holding hands or someone who may be from a different culture. This shouldn’t happen. I would never want to be told that I can’t have a burger because I’m standing next to a caring, loving, handsome man.
Discrimination is a terrible thing. I know this may be one form of discrimination against the LGBT community when it comes to weddings and people’s religion. It’s not the right thing to do, but I would much rather have a planner that is HAPPY to plan my wedding than one who is forced to do it because they have to or feel like they have to.
Shit people will exist and some of them can’t be swayed to even acknowledge that two people who love each other and being the same sex, can be married. Believe me, I have been there and found it to be way too energy-intensive and wasteful of my effort.
Another thing I noticed in the news is that Kevin Hart says he won’t play a gay man in a movie. People are getting upset over this as well. I don’t see any harm in him acknowledging that he doesn’t want to play a gay man because he’s not comfortable doing it. It’s understandable. Again, it goes back to the point with the mechanic and cake. Shouldn’t he be comfortable in the roles that he plays in movies? Sure. He has that choice whether he wants to do that. It doesn’t make him bad or evil. It just makes him honest. As far as being afraid of what people will think, that’s totally understandable. As a gay man myself, it would be gut wrenching to see someone play a role of a gay man badly. Really!
If I missed something or said something extremely nasty, you’re always free to school me using the comments or by sending me a message. I am forever learning and may miss an important point of view.