Hi, October!

Welcome to October!

You know what that means, right? It means it is creepy and spooky month! This month, I’m planning to tell you about the spooky things that have happened to me. I’m also going to talk a little bit about my childhood and Halloween in particular.

This month, I’m also hoping to show you a new (and marginally improved) podcast episode guide and, later this year, implement a little system to reward those people who have helped my podcast and website improve and thrive. This means that people who have passed around my website’s URL, talked about my podcast, have a link on their website, or left regular comments will be able to access the podcast episodes that I don’t post. That’s just the beginning though. I’m adding options that people can contribute to my website (if they want to) and being rewarded for it. 

I’ll say more about that after I get some new and slightly rejected podcast material. I’m also thinking about releasing my very old idioPod episodes (from 2006 to about 2008) as well to those who support me in one way or another.

We’ll see how it goes!

TIP #12: Slip and Slide

I talk about my little (and embarrassing) accident I had in early September, how important it is to check on your elderly loved ones every so often, and how I don’t like my real estate agent right now. I also talk about my upcoming changes and goals with my podcast episode guide.

Also: Please donate to Kerala’s Flooding Relief (if you can). A little confused about what I’m talking about? Have you listened to the end of TIP #9: Thank U India?

Why Editing Audio Is So Difficult

Why is editing audio, especially when it is my own voice, so hard for me? Why do I neglect editing out all the umms, uhs, and other filler?

Sad story here, folks. One that I probably wouldn’t want to talk about on a podcast, so I’ll just type it here. Most of my life, and even today, I have been made fun of because of how I sound. When I was a kid and I started kindergarten, I had to go through speech therapy so I could speak correctly. People would make fun of me because I couldn’t pronounce certain letter combinations, including my sister–but that’s what sisters do so I forgive her.

As I got older, I think that I improved, but of course, if it wasn’t making fun of the way I struggled speaking correctly, it was my voice’s tone. It wasn’t masculine enough. People would ask me about it constantly and some guy was nice to bully me about it every chance he got, though he sounded like he was born into a 10th generation inbred family. Oh, and he died a few years after school…

So past that, it affected me into adulthood. I’d chat with guys (and, yes, girls) online and then they’d want to talk to me. Sometimes, people said “Oh, you don’t sound like I thought you would” and sometimes that would be enough for them not to want to talk to (or chat with) me anymore.

So yeah, I moved here and people sometimes can’t even understand me. Sometimes I’d date people and ask them (by message) if they could understand me. It was usually “mostly”. One of the people I dated said that I sound a lot sexier and manly with a sore throat.

No one’s ever told me they like my voice, basically (except the guy who said it was sexy… when my throat was sore). My partner now makes fun of me even after I’ve told him that it really bothers me. It just makes me extra cranky and even now, it makes me a little sad too.

It all boils down to this: I don’t like my speaking voice. Listening to myself talk is really hard. Going back over the stuff I record is like torture for me. That’s why I’d rather not go back and edit things out.

Podcast Olds and News

Isn’t it weird? Everything that I want to say has been said in my podcast episodes! That’s why I’ve been a lot quieter lately.

When you’re living in a quiet country town, not a lot happens. I tend to record episodes and not post them until 2-3 weeks later. It’s a bad thing, I know. You probably all think I just moved here. I listened to a little bit of #10 and I think that was recorded right before I moved (but in my defence, I added to it, I think).

I’m going to try to record a little later, especially when it comes to talking about what’s happening around me.

a1ef0058-272d-4aea-8a37-eb5553cf5ec7I’m also working on a new podcast episode guide which I hope I will finish within the next 6 weeks. It’s useable now, actually, but a few things don’t work. I’ve themed a player but it has some volume control problems and right now, the built-in browser players work a tiny bit better. Like, you can’t pick up the position on the player and drop it somewhere to play. You can pretty much go back 30 seconds or forward 30 seconds, which I feel is pretty handy – but just that by itself isn’t helpful.

I have some work to do on that.

You can see what it looked like in its early stages but as of right now, it looks a bit different. I’m trying not to say much about it at the moment and it’s a bit hard not to. It looks a bit better than what’s there, but seems to take up a bit more room. But, I feel like if you see more of what you want, it’s okay. The old layout will be preserved to a point.

OK! That’s enough blabbing from me!

Before I forget:

I also wanted to say thank you to the people who have been sending me feedback and comments! I really appreciate it. Really!

TIP #11: Not So Bad

I talk more about my life in rural Australia, my visitor coming from the USA, my partner’s coworker (and a possible ghost hunting adventure), waiting for documents to go back to work, lack of internet, frustrations with my non-existent internet, and the fact that living here isn’t really so bad (but it’s only been a week (as of 7 September 2018)).

Kerala still needs your help to rebuild their state. Please go here to donate.

Remembering Dad Today

This isn’t something that I like to bring up, because I’ve told people that I’d much rather remember someone’s life rather than their death, but about 9 years ago, my father passed away very suddenly, about a week after I went back home to Texas with the intention of moving back to the USA.

There are a few posts on Facebook that made me remember my dad’s passing away. I saw a lot of “memories” where people were posting really sweet and caring messages to me.

During that time of my life, I had been really depressed already and by the time I got to the USA, I was already taking some pretty strong anti-depressants so I wouldn’t be constantly unproductive, sad, and feeling miserable all day. When my father passed away, I appeared to take it quite well, I guess you could say. The medications I had to take kind of numbed everything and made me appear to be mostly unaffected by his passing away. I guess you could say that those medications helped me appear to be strong when my mom and sister were having a really hard time.

Now that I am unmedicated, I think back about how that appeared to people. It’s something I think about a lot. But even before I got off the medications, I made a decision not to mourn constantly over his death, but to remember how well we bonded in my adult life. Yeah, my childhood wasn’t full of pleasantness, but he really made an effort when I was older. He apologised for not being the best dad, and you know what? That’s perfectly fine. I am happy with that.

I do miss the guy a lot. I miss going back home and dealing with t his craziness that I didn’t really get until I was older. He was full of wisdom that I ignored when I was a rebellious teen. You look back and appreciate those things. As I type this, I’m not sad or crying, but I’m appreciative of what I had when he was still around.

I also still dream about him which also makes me happy. There are a few times where I have gotten really sad in my dreams, but the rest of the times that I dream about him, it’s been really nice. I might sound crazy, but that is my way of remembering him and reminding myself that someday, somewhere, and somehow, I’ll see him again. I’m content with that.

That’s what I’m thinking about at the moment. I don’t know it would go if I talked about it in a podcast episode, so I’ll just put it here. I’m just remembering my dad and the good times I’ve had.

I just don’t think that it’s nice to remember death dates. I probably wouldn’t have remembered this if I didn’t look at Facebook today and/or yesterday.

TIP #10: Country Living

I talk about the many speed bumps of moving to and living in rural Australia and how frustrated I am with the internet services (which is why my podcast episodes are so out of whack right now).

Please donate to Kerala’s flooding relief efforts.

Life on the Outside

Hello there! I am back from moving across the state to the middle of nowhere and I finally have the internet back after a few little problems. The next two podcast episodes will be full of a lot of complaining about what’s happening. Of course, the complaining is going to continue because I’m not really feeling that great here.

I mean, it does have it’s okay moments, but I guess the tensions around here are really high. I’ve gotten my first migraine already. I can barely breathe the air out here. I’ve slipped and feel. My blood pressure is really high–I can feel it.

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Tonight is just a sleep because I want to sleep night.

Getting unlimited access to the outside world has helped me calm a bit down.

It’s funny that the further away I get from a big city, the more stress I feel. That’s all from me. New episode coming for the next few Fridays.

Anyway, I’m a bit more back. Talk to you guys a bit later.

Next Episode is Delayed Again

This is just a little message to tell you that the next episode of TIP is again delayed until next Friday because I still don’t have the internet at home.

It was supposed to be connected a few days before I moved in but guess what? It wasn’t.

It wasn’t connected correctly so there’s a technician or installer or whatever coming next week. Maybe I will have it next Friday. Maybe not.

I’ve already gone over my mobile data limit so now we just have to wait.

Thanks, TPG. Thanks, NBNco. You’re the best.

I Don’t Want to Talk About It Right Now

Got your attention? Was it because you felt sorry for me? Yes?

I thought I’d break apart some of the whining about my moving over 4 hours away and again bless you with something that’s been happening on my Facebook wall. This is one of my most favourite things in the world:

If you don’t want to talk about it, doesn’t that mean that you shouldn’t post it on social media?

What I think about when someone posts something like this is that they just want some attention or something. Apparently, this person is still not wanting to talk about it. They did, however, post something about not knowing what they can possibly do to lose weight and they’ve been a bit big since junior high school. A few times, I told this person how I managed to keep a bit trim, and basically said small changes in diet could really add up over time and keep good habits. But this person “can’t”. For some reason, exercise is just too much to ask. You know, no time, son is in football, no one else in the house wants to drink water instead of Coke. The list goes on and on.

A few years ago, I decided that a lot of the people on social media don’t need to know everything about me. They don’t need to know what I ate for all three meals because I sit there and read people’s stuff and I’m like who the hell would care about that? Not me. If I don’t care about the little mundane things I do, why should anybody else? It kind of makes me think about the stuff I talk about on my podcast.

I end up complaining a lot about social media, Facebook in particular. I don’t link it here because I basically have it to let my family and friends back at home know what’s happening on this huge island. Election times are a bit difficult for me because it’s hard not to become this political monster. I think everybody knows that I don’t like who’s leading the USA right now. I could probably say the same thing about Australia, but at least the people in control aren’t monsters who think they can do no wrong and blame everybody else when things don’t go their way.

Anyway, I am doing fine and as you’ve seen, I will talk about it right now because I think sometimes talking helps. I hope whatever is bothering this person gets worked out one way or another because this is kind of what my blog is about–therapy. Cheap therapy. It does help sometimes.