Pained Silence, Possibly

I will probably sound like a big baby in this post but I had to get even more vaccinations today. One of those vaccinations was the second dose of the one that caused me a ton of trouble last time. So that means that my posts might be a bit delayed for a while. Also, I had another that is known to cause joint stiffness too so I’m pretty sure that I’m in for a super shitastic weekend.
Still, I’d rather go through this than die.

After having to get all these again, I’m really second guessing my career focusing​ goals.

Gains

The other day, I did something that I haven’t done in a long time:

I weighed myself.

The result wasn’t what I wanted to see, but it’s something that I will have to deal with. I hopped on the scale and saw that I weigh 80 kg now. That’s about 176 pounds. I’m almost 6 feet tall at about 182 cm tall.

That means my body mass index (BMI) is 24.2. A BMI of 25 is overweight. I’m not an athlete and I don’t spend all my time at the gym. So it’s pretty spot-on that I’m creeping back up to that point where I am considered overweight.

My genes aren’t blessed with good health. A lot of family members have a lot of preventable health problems. In fact, my dad passed away as a result of his poor decisions relating to his health. Around that time, I decided I’d do what I can to take better care of myself. It went well and I got a lot healthier and bulkier, of course, a few years have passed and all the muscle mass and healthiness faded away.

So it’s back to doing something about it before I get too miserable or I’m forced to do blood glucose tests all the time.

It makes me sad, but I’m still young enough to do something about it before I just get bigger and bigger.

When the Cat is Away, Will the Mouse Play?

It’s been a few days, not even a week yet, since my partner flew off to India for a few months and it’s been eerily quiet and boring without him around. The last few days made me realise something though.

My past hasn’t been perfect where my relationships have gone from being monogamous relationships to open relationships and I operated okay like that. I would just re-condition my thinking where the people who I slept with are just ways to pass the time or friends that I could do sexual things with. I didn’t think too much about these people on a relationship-level. I didn’t get attached to them and when it came to the relationship that “mattered”, I found myself feeling a bit disconnected from it.

One of the things I did was while my partners were away, I’d spend a few days before planning to meet guys (and a few girls) when I was alone. I’d usually spend the period that my partner was gone hooking up with people.

What’s funny about this time is that I just don’t have the desire to meet new people. I really don’t. I don’t know if it’s just a result of me “growing up” or not, but I didn’t search for people before my current partner left. I do admit that I looked at people, but didn’t look for people. I find it really hard to do anything or think about doing anything with someone else (even though my partner said it’s okay). There’s just no need. There is no desire there. I think that’s a good thing because this is usually a good sign that I am happy being with someone.

There were moments at first where I thought that being “chained down” to one person is a nightmare, especially after have the freedom to do whatever I wanted with no repercussions. But now I am okay with it now after having it sink in that I’m getting married next year. (That was also hard for me to accept mentally too.)

So, I’m just waiting for him to get back. It’s not really a sex thing, but because I really feel and have felt that this guy cares about me. He takes good care of me and puts up with a whole lot of crap being with me. I really can’t wait until he gets back home but it’s really important that he enjoys his time at home and doesn’t think too much about getting back.

I guess that’s it for now. It’s weird being this reformed person but then again, it’s not so bad, really.

Bing: No One Uses Us, So We’ll Pay You To Use It!

I’m fairly sure this probably should be a Twitter update instead of a weblog post, but I’m going to go for it anyway. I’m also not much of a tech writer, so please forgive me for coming across as a bit idiotic. In my daily life, I use multiple operating systems on multiple computers. I use Windows 10 mostly, followed by Mac OS, then Ubuntu. I use Windows 10 a majority of my work because it’s most dependable for me. My MacBook Pro and I are enemies. I hate that thing. It’s been excruciatingly slow since day one. What takes me 5 minutes to do on a Windows computer takes me about 30 minutes on that Mac. I just hate it and use it as a last resort. If I need to do something quick that doesn’t involve Adobe Creative Cloud apps, I use Ubuntu. A bit of a KDE flavor, I guess you could say. I can still get work done on it.

Now that I’ve given you that little bit of useless information, I will confess something. I’m writing this using on the Microsoft Edge browser. To me, it’s not so bad, but I’m one of those people who really likes the Google integration of Chrome since my small business uses G Suite.

There’s a reason I am using Edge though and it’s quite a hilarious reason. No one really wants to use Edge or Microsoft’s search engine, Bing, so they have to give incentives for people to use it. That comes in the form of earning points for doing web searches and using the browser. I think if it wasn’t for that, I honestly wouldn’t bother. I actually DO like Bing’s image search though, so it’s not so bad.

A little thing about those points that you earn from Microsoft is that I stockpiled over $60 in Skype credits the last time I was in Texas for three months. Back then, it was a USA thing, so I had fun using it and adding to my Skype balance. I came to Australia and well, they detected that I was in Australia and the point earning stopped. Recently, they brought the Microsoft Rewards system to Australia so I’m back to earning points. I thought that it’s a good time to give Edge a go and really, it’s not that bad. It feels a bit slower than the Webkit-based browsers, but it still gets the job done.

It makes me think what it would be like if Google incentivized their browser and searches. They don’t need to though because most people already use it but wouldn’t it be great to earn towards something like a Chromecast (which I already have so…)?

I just find it interesting is that the rewards system is pretty much the only reason why I use Edge and Bing. It’s just kind of weird that I’d do something like that but it’s a bit of a nerdy rush to see my points increase like they do. I’ll probably just keep adding to my Skype balance though I hardly ever use it. I’ve been thinking of just getting a Skype number and then I remember that no one ever calls me anymore so maybe I can just keep saving for something else. I don’t know.

Anyway, that’s it from me. It’s just something that was floating around in my head. 🙂 By the way, no one coerced me to write this thing. Seriously.

Weeks of Solitude

I’m a little sad right now because I’m spending the last few days with my partner before he heads off. I keep asking myself how I am going to handle him being gone for close to 2 months but we’ve been apart longer than that and we both survived that. I think he’s afraid that I’m going to starve to death or something like that.

My partner thinks he’s going to come back and see the kitchen like this, I’m sure. (No hoarding tendencies here.)

He’s also afraid that I’m not going to clean while he’s gone and will leave mountains of clothes everywhere. I think he thinks that he’s going to come back to something that looks like what you see in the picture.

He has nothing to worry about. I do admit that I have a bad habit of putting my clothes in a pile in the floor when I’m done with them. I’ve always done that, but they’ve always been a small pile, not something that reaches the ceiling. Thankfully, my mother made me into this person who can’t stand living in mountains of garbage around me. When I was a bit more depressed, I did let things get a little bad, but nothing like what he’s expecting.

I am thinking there’s a pattern though where my partners worry that I’m going to paint the walls a terrible color, forget to turn off the stove or heater for days, or let Pico (my bird) fly around to poop on everything. I do okay by myself. I probably don’t eat as well as I should, but I plan on getting back to the gym while he’s gone. I’m getting a little chubby in the gut so I need to fix it soon before it gets too big and I grow man titties. I don’t like man titties. I don’t need man titties.

I am still just checking on the possibilities of going to India, but I’m torn in between going only to spend a few days there, or just using the time to better myself.

Out Goes My Vacation

There are days that I struggle to get up in the mornings. That’s usually because I don’t get enough sleep the night before. I am a terribly light sleeper so the smallest noise wakes me up. A couple of mornings per week, I have to wake up at around 4 am and that’s usually when the temptation to stay at home strikes me.

Well, I’ve done that too much and was told today that some of the days that I was going to take off have been taken away. If I miss these days, then I’m going to be in big trouble.

So…

Yeah, disappointing. I have been doing a lot better getting myself up, but the travel to work and class is killing me.

So… When’s the Big Day?

Let’s all say hello to May! It’s been an interesting year so far, hasn’t it? From having one of the crappiest weeks so far (I’m sure worse can happen) to announcing my impending marriage next year, it certainly has been interesting.

I’ve written a few posts about my upcoming marriage BUT there are a few little misunderstandings that have to be cleared first before I publish them. I don’t want to post something that sounds like a ton of bitching and complaining, or that I am attacking my partner for not being agreeable with me. The conflict is mostly about the when. We can’t really move forward until we get this sorted, so why share all my thoughts now if I don’t know when? Right? Right.

Originally, I didn’t want to do something big, and I still don’t, really. I do want to do something special and I want to do it at my favorite time of year. Unfortunately, that favorite time of the year isn’t his favorite time of year. I would be quite disappointed if it didn’t happen then. I had to take a break from planning it to accept that I might not get my way.

Time will tell though. I don’t really want to be angry and I don’t want him to be angry, so there is some communication that needs to happen. Maybe I’ll fix those posts up once I figure out some little details. This is what happens when you are dealing with two stubborn people.

The Shittiest Week of the Year So Far

I am guessing that this week is going to be the week from Hell. I have a few more days left of it, and I am hoping it won’t get much worse. Besides getting an injection that my body totally hated, I’ve run out of contact lenses so I’m stuck wearing glasses that I’ve had for more than 10 years. Those glasses have been sat on dozens of times so that the frames are totally bent out of shape. It’s just unpleasant.

I’ve been a bit reclusive lately because there are only a few more weeks until my partner goes back to India for a few months. I’m still not ready to go and it seems like that’s what on everybody’s mind is if I’m even going. Even I don’t know yet because my vaccinations and health problems are causing me to take a lot of unpaid sick leave. I might, but not sure yet. The deadline is approaching but the good news is that I can apply for my Indian visa about a week before I leave and be okay.

That’s all for now. I’m still in pain in several areas of my body and it’s making me incredibly bitchy. I only managed to get about 2.5-3 hours of sleep last night too. It’s not a good day to be me. I also have to travel 120 km tomorrow so I can be somewhere for 1 hour. Yeah. Not fun.

Pain

I had planned to write a long post today but my body decided it would react badly to a vaccination. My back, neck, and shoulders are really sore. My joints are all hurting too. I have a headache and can barely move around. It hasn’t been fun and have been spending my off days feeling awful.

My body has never liked this particular vaccine. I seem to get every single side effect from it. It gave me problems when I was kid, and the last time that I had it. And assuming I’m going to India, I’m going to have to get even more. I feel like a pin cushion lately.

So… this is a short one. I am typing through the pain and probably shouldn’t be so I’ll go now.

Why So Angry?

Lately, I’ve been watching videos of people being angry in public. Yeah, I know, exciting stuff, right?

What I don’t understand is why people get so upset over certain things. I think that being anger is too energy-intensive and a lot of the time, it’s not worth it. But then again, I am really big into conflict avoidance. It’s one of those things about me that can be good or bad, depending how you look at it.

For example, I am one of those people who will go to a restaurant and order something and if it’s not what I ordered, I’d probably eat it anyway (unless it’s seafood). I know sometimes people here don’t “get” my accent sometimes. I really need to work on my Aussie accent or lose a little more of my Texan accent.

I’m also one of those people who won’t say anything if I go to a store and buy something, then discover that I didn’t get the sale price and not say anything about it if it’s only a few dollars.

I’m one of those people who will put up with annoying public behavior from other people (unless someone is being a dick, racist, or something similar). I just like to remove myself from the annoying behavior if I can.

Watching some of these videos, I can’t see why people get so angry over the smallest things. Why would someone waste their time being loud, noisy, and irritating over the fact that an iced coffee costs $1 more than a hot coffee? Why would someone be so pissed off with their day that they feel like they have to be mean to everybody else? (Okay, I’m guilty of this one sometimes. It’s usually because I didn’t sleep well.) Why are some people so miserable that they have to complain about the most insignificant things?

I can see how speaking up sometimes is a good thing and I probably should do it more often, but I don’t see a point if it’s going to cause a lot of arguments. Right?

It’s so funny because I start writing these things and midway through them, I start understanding things from both sides, you know, speaking up and being quiet. I just don’t think that anger is the best way to handle things most of the time.

And those videos? They’re everywhere. Just Google “angry crazy people”.  Or here, watch these: