Harvey Aftermath

I know it’s been a while. If you’ve read my last post, you’ll know that my family and friends back in Texas were about to get affected by Hurricane Harvey. Well, they did and it was a lot worse than I expected. The flooding is absolutely horrible. I don’t want to sound overly dramatic but everybody there was affected. Most of the people I know have had their houses and cars flooded. It’s really hard to be across the world and watch this unfold.

rain

Most of the week, I spent reading news reports and the Facebook posts from people trapped in that mess. I didn’t want to leave the house. I didn’t want to go work. I didn’t want to do anything, and when I tried, I’d end up getting extremely anxious or depressed because there’s not a lot that I can do. Feeling helpless and powerless at a time like this is really difficult. I mean, really difficult and I let my brain take over. ¬†I don’t really do very well when that happens because my stomach goes crazy and it’s so hard for me to concentrate. So, I’d slip into playing Starbound for a while to just get my head into a better place. (Hey, games are a much better alternative than anything else I could, but wouldn’t, do.)

flood

I’m still sad. Even today, more water is flooding my home town… even after the storm has left, the rivers area flooded and all that water has to go somewhere. Unfortunately, it’s heading into people’s houses, and lives really.

shelter

This is one of the negatives about living here. I love my family and friends over there and since I’ve moved here, I still think about them daily. I do shit on my home town a lot but that’s where many of the people I knew grew up and they’re used to being there. It’s hard to move from a place when you’re whole life is there. It’s extremely hard when nature forces that move.

Anyway, that’s where my brain is and that’s where I’ve been hiding… in a bubble (with Internet access). My partner and his family were the ones responsible for getting me out of that bubble. My sister also helped by telling me to stop beating myself up over something that I can’t do much about… and she’s right. I just wish there was SOMETHING I could do. (Do you know how tempted I was to try to fly there???)

If you were affected by the hurricane, I am truly sorry for what happened. I’m not much of a praying guy, but if that’s what you believe in, then I hope you do get as much love and support from that, seriously. Everybody needs something to believe in and if that’s what you use to get yourself through tough situations, I really hope that you’re blessed with the strength you need to move past this.

High School Reunion? No Thanks.

Can you believe it? My 20 year high school reunion is coming up next year. I’m actually shocked that it’s happening since the people in my graduating class are so incredibly lazy. (We didn’t have the usual reunions. I think our first one was like 12 years or something like that, and it was some kind of bumpkin hoedown that someone threw together in their back yard, I hear.)

You want to know something else? I don’t really care. I’m not going to go, even if I was next door to where it was being held.

Apparently, where I grew up, if you don’t look like this, it’s a reason for someone to be an asshole towards you.

Why, you ask? It wasn’t because I was bullied every day. There were maybe two or three¬†people who would go out of their way to give me a hard time for, get this, being skinny. That wasn’t every day though. Some people picked up on the asexual/bisexual/gay thing, but no one gave me a hard time about it. Now, there were people who would get teased all the time, but I escaped that for the most part. My “problem” was that I kept to myself a lot. I enjoyed and enjoy my solitude. I had good friends, but they seemed to always be somewhere else at the time.

I don’t go to these things because my high school years were boring. My parents barely let me do anything. I stayed grounded about 95% of the time because I could barely get As and Bs. I’d always come home with a high C, and that was enough to ground me. If I did make As and Bs, then my parents would go out of their way to ground me a day or two later over something trivial. I’m not lying, I got grounded for six weeks for not picking up a sock in the floor. They just didn’t let me do anything. When I played soccer (which I loved, by the way), they’d look for excuses why I couldn’t keep playing. It was just boring.

My teenage years in a nutshell.

So basically, I didn’t have many friends then. I didn’t appreciate how incredibly stupid, racist, and bigoted people could be either. I didn’t smoke. I didn’t drink. I didn’t do any drugs. I didn’t sneak out of the house. I was actually a really good kid. I didn’t/couldn’t do anything so people just didn’t want to have much to do with me. So why would I bother talking to people who I haven’t talked to in over 20 years?

Why would I go to a place where people didn’t bother to try to get to know me? What are the chances that they’d even remember me? How would people react if I showed up with my same-sex partner who’s from a different part of the world? Yeah, I don’t want to risk that. I don’t think people would give him any problems and I would actually love to see the look on their faces. I’d also love to see people surprised that I’m with a man.

They hold these things at incredibly weird times of the year too so that people living in a 30 minute driving radius could make it. They ask me for my input and I basically say, every time, that I don’t go to the USA at other times of the year than November/December. It’s when a lot of people overseas go back home, but they can’t manage that.

And I will never go back home for something as dumb and insignificant as a reunion when I don’t like the area, didn’t like school, and didn’t like the people (except for a handful).

If people want to see me, they’ll have to catch me when I plan to be there, for the most important reason I even go back there: family and my extra special friends who I consider to be my family.