Why Being Gay in Australia is Better than the USA

I don’t really intend to make this a weblog about marriage equality, but the excitement is still lingering for me and many other Australians. I was thinking about something though about being gay in the United States. The lawmakers in many states (and probably nationwide) are constantly thinking of many creative ways how they can make marriage equality a little less equal and etch discrimination into the laws to make it a lot less meaningful. They essentially think like “well, we have to live with it, but let’s make it as hard as possible for them, so we can still believe that our marriages are still superior”. So, you have all these lawmakers scrambling to allow states to remove benefits for same-sex couples and how to make it harder to get weddings done. I’ve already explained my stance on that, which is basically if someone isn’t going to put their whole heart and energy into my plans (because of who I’m with) then someone else will. Again, let me iterate that I don’t think that’s nice and under most circumstances, it shouldn’t be legal to withhold products and services from someone just because you don’t like them or agree with them.

Anyway, the point of this is that here in Australia, I don’t think I will be seeing much of the “waaaaah, I have to bake cookies for a newlywed gay couple” stuff like there is in the USA. But, I’ve also told many, many, many people here that whether they realise it or not, the USA (its people and laws) is deeply entrenched in religion. You don’t really see that until you’re American and go somewhere else that 100% guarantees freedom from religion (which I think is GREAT). (Even during Christmas, may I add: no one is whining about red cups. No one is bitching about people saying Happy Christmas or Happy Holidays. Do you know why? Because people have better things to do.) Also, people in the USA, or at least where I am originally from, are really eager to gag and choke others with their religion.

You can understand why it’s so difficult for me to want to go and live in the USA where a few years later, people still aren’t over the fact that people of the same sex can marry. The laws that the state governments and federal government make or change proves that. I don’t need to have my feet on US soil to see that. I hear it directly from people, not from “fake news” websites. It’s really sad.

Australia’s discrimination laws are so much better than the USA. You can’t do half of what some of the states in the USA can get away with. No one gives two shits about trans people using restrooms (tee-hee). No one can discriminate, COUNTRY-WIDE, based on sexual preference, gender identity, religion, etc. It’s all been law basically since I’ve been here. That’s because people don’t get their knickers in a twist. That’s why I love Australia. The marriage equality, which is law now, meaning people could get married today if they could, is just the icing on the gay cake baked by someone who doesn’t care who they bake a cake for. It’s just another reason why I love my adopted country like I do and always will.

I do think that there will be some “protections” happening in Australia at some point, but at least the government is actually looking into how things stand at the moment or in the distant future before any of those “protections” become law. (Discriminatory laws DO NOT AND WILL NOT PASS here, Americans.)

It’s kind of hilarious because people think I have this real hatred towards the USA. I’m always making points why life is so much better over here than here, but seriously, it is a great place to live and I’m honestly a lot more happier here, but home is where my family is and I don’t hate it. I dislike quite a few things about it right now, but when I have a chance to move back, I will. (I really wish I could just move everybody here.) The USA has given me a lot of great opportunities in the past and it was all I knew until I first came here. I’ve seen the other side of the fence and love it, that’s all. I wish the USA was more progressive and really wish that people would stop latching on to all their fears to vote in inexperienced, weak leaders who want to spend more time telling people what they can’t do to make themselves feel better. Oh well, hopefully one day people there will wake up.

Emergency! This is the Point of No Return!!!

It’s a real emergency, you guyz.

I don’t even know why I blurred this guy’s username and photo, honestly. I really don’t. I don’t even know where to start with this guy.

My partner and I have profiles at a certain dating website. Our profiles are linked so it’s not really a “secret” that I’m with someone. This website lets me know who has visited my profile and this guy looked at my profile like a dozen times in one day.

So this little charmer started chatting with me. I figured, he’s not really good looking and probably doesn’t get to chat with a lot of people, so I’ll make some polite conversation with him. Oh geez, what a mistake. He started asking really weird questions like am I into wrestling. Do I like piggy back rides? Do I like dressing up like a ghost and running through poorly lit cemeteries? Okay, that last one wasn’t real, but I am really surprised he didn’t. It was just really weird. Some involved bodily fluids. Let’s just say… gross. My replies start going hours apart. Doesn’t phase him any–he keeps going.

He pushes it into high gear trying to make moves on me, asking me to meet him, what I like to do in bed, you know, the typical gay men chatter. If you didn’t know, this is what 70% of conversations are like. I said “Dude, you do know that I have a partner, don’t you?” And he actually said no! I don’t really get what he’s doing looking at my profile so much because he’s obviously not paying attention that I am partnered.

For the next several days he keeps messaging me those “hi”, “what r u doing”, or “hey” messages. I don’t reply to them. Then I finally get this one and have to admit it really made me laugh. Since when is getting a Steam gift card (gaming distributor) an emergency? And by today?! I mean, I could probably still make the deadline, but… what the fuck? This guy needs to grow a brain and get his priorities in order.

Oh, and he’s totally not my type too. He’s definitely not good-looking. If I was available and single, I would have rather died bitter, desperate, and alone rather than put up with someone with the IQ of a tablespoon of applesauce.

The experience from wanting to be nice was horrid and I wish it would just end. I guess I’m going to finally just have to tell the guy to fuck off. Maybe someone else will put up with his dumb ass, but I’m not. Not even for a chat.

Oh, and as I type this, he sent me another identical message. I will go now.

Australia Says “YES”

yesfest
Australia Says Yes… like everybody knew they would, but apparently it takes wasting $122 million to figure that out. Pic is from Equal Love.

Exciting news! The Australian people have voted in favour of marriage equality.

Over 61% said yes. [Australia votes ‘yes’ to same-sex marriage.]

It’s a little funny though. I really thought that it would have happened before it did in the USA, but even despite that, I didn’t have too many problems with it because Australia is such a laid-back, relaxed place and even without marriage equality, same-sex couples still had a lot more rights than they did in the USA (and still do, honestly).

Something important to know is that it is not legal yet. It basically gives everybody in Parliament the right to a free vote (and hopefully, if they aren’t douchebags, vote with the rest of the country). A Bill needs to be written to make it law and the politicians have to vote on it.

It’s also a bit funny when the people on the “No” side said that the country shouldn’t cater to minorities when it comes to same-sex marriage. Do you know who IS the minority now? Them. Now they’re wanting to make it as hard as possible by writing discrimination into Australian law. They say “Oh, but we have to get our way too since we lost.” You know what would happen if the result was the other way around? Exactly. I don’t feel bad for them. Not. At. All. That’s why I don’t like religion and why being in a country that’s not so religious is great.

It’s also nice to see that Australians don’t have shit for brains like their American counterparts. Thank you, Australians!

Sorry that this was posted so late. I wrote this for Wednesday and forgot to post it! I made a few changes to this post though. (Also true: I’m infuriated, bored, and tired.)

Freedom and Openness

How much freedom do I give my partner and past partners and what are my thoughts on open relationships?

This is a topic that I’ve tried to write about several other times before but haven’t been successful yet. That’s mostly because I didn’t want to come across looking like a total wanker or someone who enjoys being walked all over or someone who just puts up with anything.

Before I continue, if gay people having sex bothers you or you don’t want to know details, stop reading and go do something else.

Whoever dates me or becomes my partner is lucky because I rarely get jealous. I haven’t ever been a jealous person because, to me, that takes too much energy and time. I already get anxious about something simple like what’s for dinner tonight and stuff, so this would just add to my anxiety. I usually have a lot of trust where I assume my partner knows what’s right and wrong. I have the talk with him about if he’s unsure, think about if I did the same thing, would he be upset? That’s what I do now, and that’s probably why I cherish the relationship I’m in now more.

What am I okay with?

As long as my partner tells people up-front that he’s in a relationship, mostly everything is good. If he tells someone he’s single, then I would understandably get upset. This is one of the few things that would make me mad. Basically, he shouldn’t lie about his relationship status.

My partner and I still have personal profiles on sites and we link to each other when possible. Again, as long as he doesn’t pretend like I don’t exist, I’m good. (I do the same.)

I don’t mind if my partner meets other gay guys for dinner, catching up, going to the movies, clubs, and stuff like that. I don’t mind if these guys are exes, old friends, or new guys.

A kiss or touch isn’t really a big deal to me. It’s not something that I’m going to spend too long thinking about.

Sexually, I’ve been in open relationships most of my adult life. This kind of thing doesn’t surprise me anymore because it’s really common. With my current relationship though, I’ve moved away from that and I like having this guy to myself right now. Even if it was an open relationship, I don’t think I’d want to be told about it or asked about it every time. Honestly, it’s a bit of a turn on for me. With my ex, I used to ask him what he’s done and he’d tell me and well, it would lead to us having sex. (That relationship was mostly sexual anyway and we both knew this, so yeah.)

On the subject of open relationships, they work for some people (almost half of gay men have had an open relationship). For most people, I’d like to think, they don’t. That’s okay. Couples that mutually agree to opening their relationship to other sex partners are fine. It’s just when one person of the couple doesn’t know about it that the problem starts. It’s also a problem when deep feelings start to develop for someone (and they do, but I learned to ignore it).

At the end of the day, it’s up to my partner to do the right thing. I trust that he will do the right thing at the right time, especially this guy I’m with now.