Goodbye 2018

Happy New Year (maybe a little early)!

It’s the time of the year when people post about how terrible 2018 was and how they hope that 2019 won’t suck as much. Originally, I was going to put all of this in a podcast episode, but since a few crappy things happened, I decided that maybe it was better to just make a post about it.

So what’s happened this year?

  • I restarted my personal journal podcast again after being disconnected from podcasting for several years. I didn’t think it would last, honestly.
  • I traveled to India for the first time and only barely missed the catastrophic flooding in Kerala. It was a really great experience. I realised that you shouldn’t always listen to the horror stories people tell you before you travel. Your travel experiences differ from anybody else’s and it’s better to go places with a sense of adventure than with terrible expectations.
  • I got married to a guy that, to this day, I’m still happy with. He’s really supportive, loving, and still as sexy as ever. (I’m looking forward to bring this guy home to the USA. He’s never been. This is going to be fun.)
  • I moved to a rural area of Australia and the experience has been interesting, but I know living out in the country isn’t for me. The fear of bush fires happening is a reality almost every day and it’s so different than what I’ve been living in ten years prior.
  • I got a new job that I like. (My partner also got a new job and we work at the same place and for the same organisation… which is why we moved.)
  • I am doing whatever I can to get a handle on my anxiety. It’s been a bit difficult to find out what works best, but I’ll get there eventually. I know that it’s going to improve my quality of life immensely!

What are my hopes and dreams for the new year?

  • I’m focusing on going back to the USA at the end of 2019, hopefully for a few months. I really miss my family and friends back in Texas.
  • I’m hoping to move closer to Melbourne again. You don’t know a good thing you had until it’s no longer there.
  • I’m hoping to get another good job that I like. I’m hoping to save a lot more money as well.
  • I really hope I can get a handle on my self-confidence, especially professional.
  • I need to learn how to say no without feeling incredibly guilty for it.
  • I hope to get my strength back and become healthier. Eating better food? Possibly. Exercising, probably. Starting sometime. I kinda miss my defined chest.

I don’t think that any of my “goals” are unobtainable. I basically just need to look after myself a bit better.

For you guys reading this, I hope that you have a fantastic start of the new year and I hope that your 2018 was interesting and made you into a stronger person!

Being Far Away from Home Sucks Sometimes

Good day to you. I hope everybody is doing well.

I haven’t had the opportunity to say much about this but things have been a bit hectic over the past few weeks. I’ve had two family members back in the USA who were admitted to the hospital and both were in bad condition. I learned this morning that one of them passed away.

I have been talking to my family when I can just to make sure that they’re doing well, processing things, and that they have someone to talk to if they need it. I’ve been giving them some advice on how to relieve the stress in such a tough time.

This is one of the things that I hate about living in Australia. My family is across the world and I would really like to take care of them when I need to. Unfortunately, the distance and time difference makes it very difficult. I tend to start thinking about the time away from my family and how I want to spend time with my immediate family members before they get too old. Though my sister does a good job looking after my mom, I feel a bit limited at what I can do. I also start regretting not making it there for the holidays as well this year. I am making it a priority to go back next year though but I’m looking at another move in about 6 to 9 months from now. I don’t think I can stay away for another year.

Anyway, I am going to skip my next podcast episode for now and just make a new one in a week or two. I don’t think anybody will even notice anyway. I’m just going to focus on my family for a while and see how they’re going with that.

I hope your holidays are going okay. I wish things were going smoother for me, but it is what it is, I guess.

Merry Christmas!

I pretty much already said this, but I really hope that you have a great Christmas! If it’s not a day that’s super special to you, I still hope it’s incredibly awesome!

I’m going to do my very best to get another podcast episode recorded before the end of the year, but there’s a chance that it’s not going to happen. I’m going to try very hard. Stay safe and take super good care of yourself for me and I shall speak to you soon! 🙂

I Miss Getting Food Delivered

One of the less attractive things about me is that I like junk food. Since I’ve moved to a regional town, access to it has been severely limited and you kind of learn how to go without. Sadly, I have times when I really miss being able to get it without traveling over an hour to get it. When I tell you that the place I’m living has no fast food, I mean it. Nothing. Zilch.

Mmmm… pizza. I don’t even care that it’s from Pizza Hut. (I do miss good ranch dressing to dip the crusts into…)

Because most of my family and a lot of my friends use Facebook, I check it every once in a while to see what’s happening in the USA. You see, Facebook likes to torture me a little bit sometimes. They’re a little tricky when it comes to working with my ad blocker/browser. I still have to look at ads sometimes. I regularly see food that I want and can’t have when I want it. I can’t see someone delivering a pizza one way when it takes them one hour–not like they’d actually do that.

The ads are like 3 pizzas for $36 delivered and it’s always that boring pepperoni pizza (that I love). It makes me immediately hungry for pizza. It would probably cost the same, if not more, to make the things myself. Since I live in a regional area, let’s just say that the prices for food aren’t really that good and when you live in a town with 1 grocery store, they can effectively charge whatever they want. I’d estimate that we pay about 20% more for our food than we did when we lived in a bigger city where the choices were plentiful.

The other problem is that delivery doesn’t exist here. There are places you can order, but it’s really old school where you call in your order, then have to drive up there, pay for it, and bring it home. (I find it a little amusing that when I have to order train tickets from the hardware store, they have all these schedules printed in a binder that they have to look through to find the right ticket, when there’s a computer right in front of them… that runs like Windows 95.) It’s very sad. It would take me about 30 minutes to walk to one of these places to pick up food–another reason to get a car.

I’m also sad that there are no services that would deliver food here like UberEats or something like that. You don’t know how good these little things are until they’re not available.

I thought I’d just complain about that. Ads probably grab my attention a lot more here than they ever did. I’m not sure why, but it’s probably because there’s not much to do around here so you have to look at ads to pass the time.

TIP #19: Holidaze

Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I give you updates about my mental health and getting back into the swing of things out of necessity. My partner isn’t around and I miss him—and I get a little jealous sometimes of his family. I also talk a little bit about getting him to stay here with me. I talk about why my holiday spirit is in the toilet and some lady picked me up at the grocery store… and I went home with her.

It took a few times to record this, but finally got it down. I actually recorded this today. Wow.

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  • NOTE: This post uses the new web player so it might not function or look correctly. I’ll be working on it when I have time. (The default is to use the built-in browser media player. If you’d like to switch to the themed player, look at the preferences by clicking the menu button in the upper right, and change the themed player setting to ‘Yes’.)

Waking

Hey! It’s been a long time. I’m still around. I didn’t go to sleep permanently or anything like that. I have been out traveling a bit, trying to get used to the medication I was taking (which didn’t work out), and well, just being downright lazy.

I’ve started a new medication that I hope has a lot less side effects. Spending my day in bed sleeping isn’t really my definition of a good time. 

I’m still tired and everything, but I’ve had some really incredible headaches and muscular pain. Sometimes, it happens so quickly, then it’ll disappear just like that. It’s very unnerving.

I still don’t feel great, but I have stuff to do. I was just keeping you guys updated because I know you care so-SO much!

I’m So Sleepy

As always, I usually have a little more to add to my podcast recordings. If you’ve listened to my last podcast episode (or any of them, really), you’ll know that I have a big problem with anxiety. You’ll also know that I’ve been taking some steps to get that managed.

I’m happy now that I can concentrate on things and not feel like I have 200 worrying thoughts enter my head at the same time. I can now remember things a lot better (because before, I’d be so distracted that I couldn’t absorb much at a time). I’ve been getting a lot more done every day. It’s really nice.

Unfortunately, the medication I’m taking is making me incredibly tired. It’s a bit strange. You know how sometimes you wake up during the night and then fall back asleep? I feel like I am doing that, but my body refuses to go to sleep. I’m very, very lightheaded and it seems like it’s getting worse every day. I’m just quite weak.

Like, right now, it’s almost 8:45 am and I feel like I want to go back to sleep but no matter how much I want to, I can’t. I woke up at 7:00 am. I’m still waking up really early even if I don’t really have to.

I knew that this may happen so that is why I’ve taken some leave from work. I didn’t really know it would be this severe though. I really hope my body can get used to the effects of being on a new medication, or I might have to try something else (and have to miss more work).

TIP #18: Birthday and Healing

This episode is a bit interesting because one part was recorded before I went to the doctor and the other was recorded after I took medication for my issues. I talk about my last year of my 30s, my doctor visits after recording my last podcast episode, my mental health, and how important it is to get mental issues checked on before things get much worse (though it is quite hard to make the first step).

A few weeks and I’m feeling much better. It’s only the very start, but I’m pretty confident that things will get better from here on.

  • Want to help support my podcast or website? Buy me a coffee!
  • NOTE: This post uses the new web player so it might not function or look correctly. I’ll be working on it when I have time. (The default is to use the built-in browser media player. If you’d like to switch to the themed player, look at the preferences by clicking the menu button in the upper right, and change the themed player setting to ‘Yes’.)

Birthday Sweetness

Another year has passed. I’m officially at the last year of my 30s and I guess that’s okay. I should be thankful that I have gotten this far in life. Some people don’t even get to this ripe old age.

I usually go crazy around this time with my birthday freebies, but since I live in an isolated town, they’re not available. I’m really going to miss that free burrito and huge margarita. I am not about to travel 5 hours to get free food, so I’m staying in.

My husband makes me stay up until midnight the day before so I played Elder Scrolls Online and Fallout 4 until really late. I spent a lot of my time yesterday in front of a screen so I started to get a really bad headache around 9 pm or so. He made (or assembled) a cake for me while I was busy coding on my podcast software project.

I’ve always liked the cakes that I can pick things off and eat it. He totally gets me in that way. I looked at it and was a bit confused, but he’s really sweet.

I got up this morning and found a card from him that said “husband” on it. I haven’t really gotten anything with that on it yet, so I was a little surprised. It’s mostly because I forget that I got married.

So, today, I’m going to go out in this hot weather (I hate when it’s hot on my birthday…) and do a few things. Here’s hoping for a great year ahead as I head into my 40s. I can’t believe sometimes that I’ve had an internet presence since I was around 16. Incredible!