Sorry for the lack of updates lately on anything “meaningful”. I’ve been a bit busy and my gut is doing some really nonsensical things as well. I’ve been blessed with a really sensitive stomach and I can’t tell you how many times that I say, sometimes aloud, that I wish I could just sell my gastrointestinal track on eBay or something or trade it for something that actually works.
From when I was around 5 years old, I remember having a problem with my gut. I’d be sent to the school nurse so many times in the mornings because my stomach constantly got cramps. Their solution was just sitting on the toilet until I pooped. I that’s when I realized that I had a really big phobia with public toilets.
Then, all through my childhood and adolescence, I had the exact same problem. Most mornings, I’d have a big pain in the gut almost every single day. Fast forward to my adult life, and it still happens. Except now it gets really, really bad before job interviews or meetings in general. Hell, it happens even before I go to work, a lot. I take a lot of medicines just to keep it calmed down so I don’t have to live sitting on the toilet. I try not to take that much medication, but finally bit the bullet and talked to my doctor today who gave me a prescription for a medication for irritable bowel syndrome. Hopefully that will quash it when I need it. However, if it doesn’t work, I’m supposed to go back and try something else because I can’t live my life everyday with a stressed stomach. I’m pretty upset that I’ve gone this far without doing something about it.
I honestly think that I let stress get to me so that’s why it happens. Stress though, for me, is what most people take for granted. I can totally stress myself out over the most trivial things like what I’ll have for breakfast the next morning or the possibility of me being late to ANYTHING. It doesn’t matter what it is, even if there’s like a 0.03% chance of it happening.
You can imagine what I am like before blood test results. Hell, you can imagine what I’m like after I get blood taken and have to WAIT for those results. It’s really irritating. (It’s even worse when the doctor’s office loses those blood test results, like what happened today.)
Good news is that my HIV check was clear. There was actually no reason for me to worry about that, but of course I stressed myself overthinking that. (Even with my first test when I had never had sex, I stressed over it. Of course, I told the doctor that I liked men so that automatically warranted an HIV check, even though I told him I liked men, but didn’t have sex. He did tell me thanks for telling him that. And I was like, yeah sure. I’ve always been totally honest and upfront with my doctors.)