It feels like every time I come here to type anything, it’s apologising because I hardly show my face. I’m not apologising this time. Someone told me that I do that way too much and it’s a habit that I need to break. I said I would try to chill out with the perpetual sorry cycle.
Anyway, I’ve been a bit busy with work stuff. I’ve realised that I’m going to lose about 5 paycheques at the end of the year, so I thought maybe it will be smarter for me to work and save while I am able to. Right? Right. That’s the responsible and adult thing to do, I guess. I don’t want to be a burden at the end of the year for my family OR my partner.
I guess this is stuff I’m going to talk about in the next podcast episode. I bought a microphone but I got it from Wish, so it’s not working with my Mac and won’t work with my phone without the little adapter. It’ll work with my iPhone SE (possibly–haven’t tried). That’s if it works. I’m sure I could open the microphone up and it’ll probably be hollow. When will I learn that everything from Wish is a gamble or complete shit? (OK, if cheap and crappy is what they do. I know that.)
Oh, I did get a really bright digital clock from there… that’s not too bad but it lights my bedroom up at night (on the lowest brightness setting, even).
I’m rambling. I hope you guys are doing well! Catch you soon!
Hello everyone. It’s been quite a while since I’ve left anything on here because I’ve just been a little too preoccupied with work-related stuff. I had to take a half a day off today just to recharge. When I work, I work until the afternoon and I am absolutely knackered when I leave my workplace. For the past week or two, I’ve been going to bed about an hour after I get home and sleeping until the morning. I haven’t had much of an appetite and my mood has been a bit down.
I hope things improve, and I know they will.
Still have a new podcast episode coming tomorrow! Stay tuned.
It’s Sunday and the last day of March. The year is going by really fast, isn’t it?! We’re already a quarter through the year! How did that happen?
Tomorrow’s April Fools Day. It’s a day that I don’t believe anything anybody says to me or anything I read. I’ve never been a big fan of it, but I also don’t hate it. It’s fun to think about but probably not something I like being a part of. It’s usually because I totally forget.
I’m not thinking of quitting anything like that, so no thinly veiled threats or anything like that. No worries from here!
Having said that, a big announcement is coming in about a month! Woo hoo! I was going to announce it tomorrow, but just need to get a few more things done first.
One of the things I’m going to be talking about in my podcast is my love for some old, obsolete, but wonderful technology. Here are two of my favourite computer-related things:
I loved my iMac G4 but it’s been long-gone. I wish that companies still made such stunning and innovative products. I absolutely loved this computer. It was one of the most reliable and sexiest computers I’ve ever used. (I hated the mouse though because I don’t like Apple mouses.)
Mac OS 9+
My first Mac was the iMac G4 so I got Mac OS X and Mac OS 9 on my machine and loved using Mac OS 9 because I could customise it exactly how I wanted. I loved all the noises it made and loved the simple look. I crave the look of it, so I run Mac OS 9 in emulation. It’s not the same though. 🙁
As I’ve said, I plan to talk more about the technology I love. I just don’t know when I am going to do it just yet!
I used to be one of those people who used to post things on Facebook at least once a day. As time went by and Facebook started doing more shady things, I chose not to post as many things there. Over the past few years, I’ve posted about once a week or two (sometimes longer) just to let people know my plans to go back home or travel. My family is on there and we more or less stay in contact there so that’s the main reason why I haven’t deleted my account yet.
Up until the end of January, I was checking my wall for things every morning. Sometimes I’d go there during the day too, so I was spending, sorry wasting, a lot of my time checking up on everybody.
Sometime early in 2018, my doctor asked me if I had Facebook and I said that I did. She asked me if I used it a lot and I said I basically just read what’s happening with people back at home but checked it very often. She said it might be beneficial for me to delete it if I didn’t really need it because it could make me very homesick and a bit sad seeing what everybody else was doing because let’s face it, I get jealous over seeing people in relationships (since I have made a promise to my in-laws not to post any of my mushy things). Oh, and then there are the vacations people go on that make me a little jealous. She’s right though. I can see how not viewing all of that can be good for me.
I haven’t deleted my account or deactivated it but I have made a few changes to my social media habits:
I’ve removed Facebook and Facebook Messenger from my tablets. I did leave it on my phone, but have turned notifications off and I open it once a day. My family contacts me
I don’t post everything I do anymore. I ask myself whether it’s something that “everybody” needs to know. The worst I’d do is post something randomly.
I actually like the Screen Time on my iPhone and iPad. It makes me a bit more aware about how long I am staring at a small screen. (I actually have the screens as dark as possible because the screens are too bright. People that I show my phone to complain they can’t see it. I change the settings through the phone’s accessibility options.) My Android tablet has the same thing through the Microsoft Launcher. Have I mentioned how much I like the Microsoft Launcher? It’s pretty awesome.
Nothing is allowed to send me notifications. I check on things when I have time, not when my phone wants me to. It has the unfortunate side effect of making me miss things every so often, so I don’t see replies for months (sometimes years).
Since I’ve been limiting my access to these things and not oversharing, things have been a lot better. I think that it makes me feel a bit better too, mentally. I feel sometimes like I miss a few things and don’t know what’s going on in the USA, but hey, my sanity (or what is left of it) is more important.
Sometimes I feel like I take certain things for granted, for example, my partner, my freedom of expression, religion, or the ability to go to any naughty site I want. I heard from somewhere that India’s government blocks naughty sites and thought I’d try it out (using the Epic web browser). I clicked a little button that gave me a choice of where I wanted to pretend like I was in and chose India. Then I went to a naughty site and this is what I came up with:
I removed the site because well, I wouldn’t want to cloud your mind with the evil of naked imagery and adult situations, would I? (No. Not on this weblog at least!)
I’m actually a little opinionated on this kind of censorship. I know there are some really intelligent and crafty people in India who could probably do the exact same thing I did and circumvent these little restrictions and watch all the porn they want.
Porn, for me, can be an educational tool. It can also be a tool to get out a bit of frustration, if you know what I mean. When used in moderation (and in normal situations), it’s not such a bad thing. I don’t see it as evil. It can be addictive, sure, but I don’t believe that would apply to 100% of the population.
India, I hear, has a problem in regards to sex and sex education. Myself, didn’t do a sex education bit when I was growing up, or if I did, it was done in a really non-sexual way. My mom basically gave my sister and me a book and said “Read this” and it had everything about it. It also covered homosexuality and maybe that’s when I started to think about myself and who I was. Indians, again, I hear, are not really open about talking about sex. So basically, they need to get the information from somewhere because sex exploration is a part of getting older and maturing. They may go to these sites and see some of this stuff and expect that this is how you act during sex and well, what you see in porn movies isn’t what it’s like in real life a majority of the time. People aren’t normally sexual like that. Maybe that’s what the Indian government doesn’t want Indians to think. Maybe it’s primarily for religious reasons. Maybe this is how they keep their citizens “safe”. I don’t really know, but judging from a lot of headlines, some kind of sex education needs to be done and more free access to these materials should be accessible. It would really make a difference. Banning “all” porn (I say “all” because ALL isn’t possible, but it’s also encouraging some of the most vile material as well), isn’t the way to go.
I do believe that the most horrible stuff needs to be censored though. I don’t think that it should only be censored, but the parties responsible for it need to go to prison or whatever. Absolutely. If any government wants to prevent their citizens from seeing that or accessing that, I think that’s perfectly fine. But who says what is “good” or “bad”? That’s the big question.
I wanted to take the opportunity to tell you guys that a few friends back home have started a podcast about gaming, and you should really listen to it. In fact, that’s what I’m listening to right this second. Good stuff. It makes me miss the episodes I used to record with my best friend. I love gaming and I know a lot of you out there love it too. I want to encourage them to keep going and keep it up!
Anyway, if you’re still confused, I’ll repost their about information for you:
“We are both full-grown adults with graying hair and failing backs that are actively trying to balance our gaming life with married life, work life, personal skilled life, and more while retaining our sanity. Our goal is to put out a one hour show once or twice a month that you can sneak on your lunch break or on the go that will hopefully keep you entertained enough to keep fighting the good fight against the daily grind, the man, or even Ganondorf if need be!”
If you’d like to listen, you can do so from the player below or you can visit their SoundCloud page.
One of the less attractive things about me is that I like junk food. Since I’ve moved to a regional town, access to it has been severely limited and you kind of learn how to go without. Sadly, I have times when I really miss being able to get it without traveling over an hour to get it. When I tell you that the place I’m living has no fast food, I mean it. Nothing. Zilch.
Because most of my family and a lot of my friends use Facebook, I check it every once in a while to see what’s happening in the USA. You see, Facebook likes to torture me a little bit sometimes. They’re a little tricky when it comes to working with my ad blocker/browser. I still have to look at ads sometimes. I regularly see food that I want and can’t have when I want it. I can’t see someone delivering a pizza one way when it takes them one hour–not like they’d actually do that.
The ads are like 3 pizzas for $36 delivered and it’s always that boring pepperoni pizza (that I love). It makes me immediately hungry for pizza. It would probably cost the same, if not more, to make the things myself. Since I live in a regional area, let’s just say that the prices for food aren’t really that good and when you live in a town with 1 grocery store, they can effectively charge whatever they want. I’d estimate that we pay about 20% more for our food than we did when we lived in a bigger city where the choices were plentiful.
The other problem is that delivery doesn’t exist here. There are places you can order, but it’s really old school where you call in your order, then have to drive up there, pay for it, and bring it home. (I find it a little amusing that when I have to order train tickets from the hardware store, they have all these schedules printed in a binder that they have to look through to find the right ticket, when there’s a computer right in front of them… that runs like Windows 95.) It’s very sad. It would take me about 30 minutes to walk to one of these places to pick up food–another reason to get a car.
I’m also sad that there are no services that would deliver food here like UberEats or something like that. You don’t know how good these little things are until they’re not available.
I thought I’d just complain about that. Ads probably grab my attention a lot more here than they ever did. I’m not sure why, but it’s probably because there’s not much to do around here so you have to look at ads to pass the time.
Hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? (My podcast episode posts are usually done in advance, so it’s been a while since I’ve written anything new.)
I’ve gone away for a while and I have a new job, so I’ve been a little preoccupied. I plan on recording new material next week.
I’ll admit that I go silent sometimes when I’m a bit sad or depressed, but lately, I’ve just been off on new adventures. I’ll be telling you about the cool people I’ve been hanging around, the things we do, and the places we go.
As I’ve said before, small town living really isn’t so bad. It’s been pretty cool so far.
I was looking around on my server today to see whether I could clean some things up off of it and lo and behold, I came across every podcast episode and video I made for the podcast I made between January 2007 and the end of December 2010.
In that time frame, so much happened. I had just moved back to Australia to try to fix a relationship that wasn’t really working out. I was quite unhappy in general and very depressed a lot of the time. I went to the USA to possibly move back and my dad passed away. Then, I returned to Australia still hoping that I could save my relationship. All of a sudden, I just stopped updating my podcast and called it quits.
I downloaded the short videos I made and watched them. The quality is awful. I don’t know what I used to record them, but it was probably acceptable back then. They had videos of my dachshund I owned here, my ex, my places I moved into (which were VERY unpresentable). It was sad because as I watched them, I found it very sad because my ex looked very disinterested. I think by that time, he was just not all the way there himself but noticed that I made him laugh a lot.
I have to give him credit because if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be here in this country today. I still find it really hard to talk to him though. I think he cares about me even today, but that’s where it ends. That’s fine. I go through time periods where I do miss the good times with him. He wasn’t as awful as I made people believe. Things change over time and it’s why I was so scared getting married when I did. (My ex knows I got married as well.)
Confronting your own past can be so scary. I felt like I should confront some of it today. I don’t think I can listen to myself talk for 3 years worth of podcast episodes though so the videos are all I did. Luckily, they were short (and very pixelated). It reminded me of the good times I’ve had (except for my messy house… ex had a bit of a hoarding issue… it wasn’t bad, but he was very unorganised and liked to collect things he couldn’t use).
Maybe I’ll share some of these episodes later–or all of them. I still have the feed for it. And they’re still on my server (except they are not reachable by the public). Maybe people could point out the changes from then to now. I feel better now. Not the best, but I feel better. I kinda miss the way things were, but it’s better to move on from that.