Meeting Nice, Gay Couples Isn’t Easy

I have a bit of downtime so I thought that I would write a little something here. Before we go any further, I have to say happy birthday to the queen because if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be having a day off. So thanks for existing, queen.

One of the things, as a couple, my relationship lacks is good friendly people who are also in relationships. That’s always been a weak spot of my relationships. I think it’s a good idea to build friendships with other couples. It just never really happens for some reason. I jump on gay dating websites looking for couples who are just looking for friendships, but as you can imagine, that’s not as easy to do as you’d think. You have to really ask yourself why they’re on there. Hell, I could ask myself why exactly I’m on there.

I find other couples, but it seems like one of them isn’t very happy with each other or one complains a lot about a boring sex life. That’s when I usually disengage from talking to them. The focus, on the other side, goes from making friends with a gay couple to one guy acting like he hasn’t had sex in 15 years. It’s like they’re super desperate or something.

Every so often, you find a genuine, happy couple who just want to get to know other couples and I think that’s great. I have been talking to a couple who lives about an hour away from us who are in a similar relationship as us: one guy is Caucasian, and one is South Asian. We’ve been chatting about what life’s like for all of us, travel, and stuff. It’s actually really nice. I’m hoping that we can meet up sometimes and do something outdoorsy. I love outdoorsy stuff.

I guess it is possible to meet nice couples and thinking back, I do have some friends who are couples but my partner and I haven’t met them. Our schedules are just too out of whack and we live in the middle of nowhere now. Hopefully that changes, but I don’t have a good idea of when anymore. I am just required to travel 3 hours a day, 3-4 times a week for the next year. I think I can handle that.

Until then, it’ll be nice to meet some guys who similar to us. I just hope it doesn’t get crazy, but I’m sure it won’t. 🙂

Go Ahead, Ask Me Stuff

Let’s face it. Sometimes, I don’t have anything to say, but I kinda talk anyway. That’s why I want you to ask me questions or make suggestions. I know I don’t have many readers (and that’s okay) so I know this is going to take a while.

So, ask me anonymously, any questions about me, my partner, my relationship, my wedding plans, or anything you want. It’ll give me some content for my weblog here and hopefully it’ll stop me from repeating myself over and over. Or better yet, I can talk about things that people want to know about!

Go head. Head over to my Tumblr page and ask! 🙂

Hospital Anxiety When I’m Not the Patient

I’m a little bit anxious right now because my partner’s in the hospital. In another country. He’s already been admitted and stayed last night. He sent me some pictures of the room he’s in and it’s pretty nice. He seems to be doing okay mentally though. I think he’s just ready to get it done. I don’t blame him.

I know he’s safe and all, but I hate not being able to be there for him when I think he needs me. I’m just happy that he’s getting it done so he won’t have to deal with the pain.

I don’t want to detail the specific details because, well, it’s not nice. I’ll say that affects his ability to move around without being in pain. Nothing sucks more than being in pain when you move around. (It also affects our sex life, but that’s secondary. I’d much rather him be able to move around than the whole sex bit.)

So best wishes, sweet guy. I miss you and love you! 🙂

Origins: How I Met My Partner

Our anniversary is coming up so I thought that I’d talk about how I met my partner. I probably made a post about meeting my partner a long time ago, but there’s no trace of it now since my database was deleted. I thought I’d write again.

We are one of the success stories from OkCupid. I sent him a message knowing that he lived about 70 km / 44 miles away. I didn’t really think, at the time, that he’d respond because I was so far away but we started chatting and hit it off quite well. I remember how excited I was when he’d send me a message or when he’d respond to the messages I sent him.

He wanted to meet up, but I was reluctant to meet up with new people. I finally said that I would meet him. When it came to the day to meet up for the first time, I was sick. I was sneezing and coughing everywhere and had a sore throat. But still, I wanted to meet him.

We met at Southern Cross for the first time. It was actually at the entrance of Spencer Outlet Centre. We decided to go to Hungry Jack’s for lunch and we ate there. It was a really nice connection. We like to laugh about meeting up at a cheap fast food place. (It’s nice to meet someone who likes junk like Hungry Jack’s and KFC as much as I do!)

I soon discovered that he went to the same university that I did, so that gave me a lot of opportunities to see him.

I have the feeling that I had chatted with him before the “first” time I met him. I don’t remember, but I am glad I met him, even if I felt like crap that day. If someone can accept me when I am sick and looking gross, then he’s worth keeping! I’m lucky to have such a really great guy. 🙂

I Miss You

I miss you…

My days and nights have been quite boring since my partner went back to his home country. It’s only temporary though and he’ll be back sometime late next month. It has taken a tremendous amount of control not to post something about how much I miss the guy.

I like to joke around with him telling him that I miss him because I have no one to cook for me, no one to do my laundry, and no genitals to grab (that aren’t my own). Of course, that’s not the only reason why I miss him. I actually really miss his company a lot. I miss having this guy next to me that radiates his love for me. (My radiance is a little harder for him to get, but it’s still there.) God, this is getting way too sappy!

I kind of knew that this little absence will be good for me but I thought that I’d be loving my solitude for a while before I really started missing him. In reality, I started missing him after I dropped him off at the airport and it’s been ongoing since.

Over the past few days, I really wished that he was here with me. I’ve had a rough few days and it took yesterday for me to finally get through it. I had a really bad day on Friday and got really depressed. On my way home, I was a mess but got to talk to J and he helped me feel a bit better. That’s all I really needed was just to hear from him, but it made me a bit more sad that he wasn’t around.

Soon he’ll be back and I am really looking forward to have my man back.

Gains

The other day, I did something that I haven’t done in a long time:

I weighed myself.

The result wasn’t what I wanted to see, but it’s something that I will have to deal with. I hopped on the scale and saw that I weigh 80 kg now. That’s about 176 pounds. I’m almost 6 feet tall at about 182 cm tall.

That means my body mass index (BMI) is 24.2. A BMI of 25 is overweight. I’m not an athlete and I don’t spend all my time at the gym. So it’s pretty spot-on that I’m creeping back up to that point where I am considered overweight.

My genes aren’t blessed with good health. A lot of family members have a lot of preventable health problems. In fact, my dad passed away as a result of his poor decisions relating to his health. Around that time, I decided I’d do what I can to take better care of myself. It went well and I got a lot healthier and bulkier, of course, a few years have passed and all the muscle mass and healthiness faded away.

So it’s back to doing something about it before I get too miserable or I’m forced to do blood glucose tests all the time.

It makes me sad, but I’m still young enough to do something about it before I just get bigger and bigger.

When the Cat is Away, Will the Mouse Play?

It’s been a few days, not even a week yet, since my partner flew off to India for a few months and it’s been eerily quiet and boring without him around. The last few days made me realise something though.

My past hasn’t been perfect where my relationships have gone from being monogamous relationships to open relationships and I operated okay like that. I would just re-condition my thinking where the people who I slept with are just ways to pass the time or friends that I could do sexual things with. I didn’t think too much about these people on a relationship-level. I didn’t get attached to them and when it came to the relationship that “mattered”, I found myself feeling a bit disconnected from it.

One of the things I did was while my partners were away, I’d spend a few days before planning to meet guys (and a few girls) when I was alone. I’d usually spend the period that my partner was gone hooking up with people.

What’s funny about this time is that I just don’t have the desire to meet new people. I really don’t. I don’t know if it’s just a result of me “growing up” or not, but I didn’t search for people before my current partner left. I do admit that I looked at people, but didn’t look for people. I find it really hard to do anything or think about doing anything with someone else (even though my partner said it’s okay). There’s just no need. There is no desire there. I think that’s a good thing because this is usually a good sign that I am happy being with someone.

There were moments at first where I thought that being “chained down” to one person is a nightmare, especially after have the freedom to do whatever I wanted with no repercussions. But now I am okay with it now after having it sink in that I’m getting married next year. (That was also hard for me to accept mentally too.)

So, I’m just waiting for him to get back. It’s not really a sex thing, but because I really feel and have felt that this guy cares about me. He takes good care of me and puts up with a whole lot of crap being with me. I really can’t wait until he gets back home but it’s really important that he enjoys his time at home and doesn’t think too much about getting back.

I guess that’s it for now. It’s weird being this reformed person but then again, it’s not so bad, really.

Weeks of Solitude

I’m a little sad right now because I’m spending the last few days with my partner before he heads off. I keep asking myself how I am going to handle him being gone for close to 2 months but we’ve been apart longer than that and we both survived that. I think he’s afraid that I’m going to starve to death or something like that.

My partner thinks he’s going to come back and see the kitchen like this, I’m sure. (No hoarding tendencies here.)

He’s also afraid that I’m not going to clean while he’s gone and will leave mountains of clothes everywhere. I think he thinks that he’s going to come back to something that looks like what you see in the picture.

He has nothing to worry about. I do admit that I have a bad habit of putting my clothes in a pile in the floor when I’m done with them. I’ve always done that, but they’ve always been a small pile, not something that reaches the ceiling. Thankfully, my mother made me into this person who can’t stand living in mountains of garbage around me. When I was a bit more depressed, I did let things get a little bad, but nothing like what he’s expecting.

I am thinking there’s a pattern though where my partners worry that I’m going to paint the walls a terrible color, forget to turn off the stove or heater for days, or let Pico (my bird) fly around to poop on everything. I do okay by myself. I probably don’t eat as well as I should, but I plan on getting back to the gym while he’s gone. I’m getting a little chubby in the gut so I need to fix it soon before it gets too big and I grow man titties. I don’t like man titties. I don’t need man titties.

I am still just checking on the possibilities of going to India, but I’m torn in between going only to spend a few days there, or just using the time to better myself.

Out Goes My Vacation

There are days that I struggle to get up in the mornings. That’s usually because I don’t get enough sleep the night before. I am a terribly light sleeper so the smallest noise wakes me up. A couple of mornings per week, I have to wake up at around 4 am and that’s usually when the temptation to stay at home strikes me.

Well, I’ve done that too much and was told today that some of the days that I was going to take off have been taken away. If I miss these days, then I’m going to be in big trouble.

So…

Yeah, disappointing. I have been doing a lot better getting myself up, but the travel to work and class is killing me.

So… When’s the Big Day?

Let’s all say hello to May! It’s been an interesting year so far, hasn’t it? From having one of the crappiest weeks so far (I’m sure worse can happen) to announcing my impending marriage next year, it certainly has been interesting.

I’ve written a few posts about my upcoming marriage BUT there are a few little misunderstandings that have to be cleared first before I publish them. I don’t want to post something that sounds like a ton of bitching and complaining, or that I am attacking my partner for not being agreeable with me. The conflict is mostly about the when. We can’t really move forward until we get this sorted, so why share all my thoughts now if I don’t know when? Right? Right.

Originally, I didn’t want to do something big, and I still don’t, really. I do want to do something special and I want to do it at my favorite time of year. Unfortunately, that favorite time of the year isn’t his favorite time of year. I would be quite disappointed if it didn’t happen then. I had to take a break from planning it to accept that I might not get my way.

Time will tell though. I don’t really want to be angry and I don’t want him to be angry, so there is some communication that needs to happen. Maybe I’ll fix those posts up once I figure out some little details. This is what happens when you are dealing with two stubborn people.