Hey there. I think I forgot to mention that my posts here will be a bit sporadic for the next month. Oops. It’s just that busy time of the year right now, so I tend to forget to post here. Without saying too terribly much, I’m doing full-time training for the next month and I am absolutely knackered at the end of the day. I pretty much come home and fall asleep. I get up for a bit to eat, and then go back to sleep and get a half-assed night of sleep. There’s just too much going through my head right now and it’s preventing me from getting good quality sleep.
Over the weekend, we took our pre-wedding photos and I’ve seen some of them. The pictures are okay and I don’t really think I’m going to share any of them here on my weblog, but if you’re interested for some strange reason, just message me and you can see some (assuming I know you).
I have just been really tired, and at the same time, pretty anxious about everything. I think that’s what is wearing my energy thin. As small and simple as things are sometimes, I always feel the need to over think everything. It’s one of the things about myself that really irritates me. The frequent trips to the bathroom, the always-looking-like-I-just-saw-a-ghost look, the trembling like a leaf, it is all a bit irritating.
Anyway, I don’t want to keep dwelling on these things, so I’m heading off. I’ll see you guys a few times over the next month. 🙂
Hi! I’m finally starting to feel a bit better now so I thought I’d give you an update of sorts. I know I haven’t said much about my wedding day lately, so I wanted to tell you that it’s still on. I’ve had to move the date around a little bit because it turned out that my partner’s mother was heading back home on the day that we were supposed to get married, so we moved it sooner by a week.
I haven’t said much about what’s happening on the day yet because we’re not doing anything huge for it. I’m okay with that because I think I would be more worried about the unwanted attention more than the marriage itself. (It’s the reason why I never went to any of my graduations.) Even my citizenship ceremony made me really ill. I remember standing there focused on how anxious I’ll be walking in front of everybody. We’re just going to have a few people there that I think will compromise mostly of his family and a friend or two of mine. I would have loved to have some family members here, but I don’t think that it’s practical for a really small ceremony like this. As a result, I will do a small thing when I get to the USA, I guess.
I originally made a website with all the details, pictures, videos, and such for it, but then I realised that it’s probably overkill, so I don’t think I’m going to use it. We’re keeping most of it private, so it would have been behind a username and password login. It’s actually up now, but I’m just going to incorporate it into another project instead or use it later for when I am planning the events after. (We’re not doing anything big on the day of our wedding either.)
I don’t know about you, but I really hate planning. I’ve discovered that I really dislike planning stuff like this so I’m just letting things go as minimal as possible. I think ongoing celebrations are better and it’s also a little bit better for us because we don’t really know where we’ll be at that point of time either and what we’ll do in the future.
As far as married life goes, I don’t feel negative about it. I just accept it. I’m not extremely excited either because I think these kinds of relationships can be sustained by love and respect, but if someone won’t marry me now, will I feel regretful later? Who knows!
The past week has been kinda crappy for me. I’ve been sick for most of it and finally started taking antibiotics after I noticed I was coughing up bright yellow and green mucus. At least I can breathe a little better now. I started feeling pretty good, until 30 minutes ago, I burnt the hell out of my tongue from drinking hot soup.
It just hasn’t been that fun.
I guess that’s why I’ve been so boring and disconnected lately though, if you’re curious why I have been saying much for a while. That’s probably why I’m not going to say much this time either.
Yesterday, I posted something about a certain group of people and I really shouldn’t have typed it. Even before I pressed the “publish” button, I knew that I shouldn’t single out a group of people based on where they’re from. It is not nice and it’s never a good idea. It’s even worse judgement on my part for taking the step of publishing terrible stereotypical garbage. I will be a little more careful in the future.
I know that I don’t have a free pass to say mean things about people of my partner’s cultural background. I know for a fact that everybody isn’t the same, and it the way I wrote what I wrote made it sound like I was making a point to bring out the negatives. Bad, Ben! Bad!
If you read it before I deleted it (because I left it up for about 8 hours), I am sorry for being so dumb and for being an asshole.
A general of mine is to be nice to everybody, regardless of where they’re from, what they believe in, etc. I moved away from the place I grew up in to get away from that. I shouldn’t become what I don’t like. (I do give people back home a hard time for being morons though, but if you went there, you’d see what I mean!)
It’s one of those times that I’m glad more people don’t read this. 🙂
Anyway! What’s happening? I’m still sick. My throat is hurting a lot more. I’m coughing a lot more. I took a Benadryl about an hour ago. I really wish I could sleep this off. I’m being forced to be productive and I’m in a time period where I have no choice but to work through the pain and illness. I’ll be back soon with some better stuff. Much love to you all.
It’s not a good day for me. I have a sore throat and feel like I’ve got 4 gallons of snot (18 liters of mucus) in my head and none of it will come out. I didn’t sleep very well last night too. I think that I can put it down to all the stressful crap I’m having to deal with lately. I just feel really run down.
The photo shoot we’re doing in few weeks is driving me insane. Something that I expected to cost a certain amount is going to end up costing about 3.5-4x more than I originally thought. The locations I choose aren’t good enough, so I just stopped thinking about where to do it. I have a nice relationship with nature. Of course, nature to me isn’t really 100% beach. I need forests and mountains. Even fields would be okay. Wedding pictures at beaches are way too overdone, but I guess this is what happens when I lose all creative control over something I was initially so excited about.
My wedding plans also keep getting watered down and downgraded as well. I’ve moved the dates around so often to suit my partner’s needs that I lost a lot of planning time. I’m’ not impressed yet. I need more time but he’s not going to agree with that, so here I am, almost 140 days away from when it’s supposed to happen and I am so unexcited, so exhausted, and unimpressed with the whole thing. I don’t think that’s a good thing.
The whole thing feels rushed, but the engagement has been floating over my head for the past two years and I really feel as if I’ve “overstayed my welcome”, so it’s probably my own fault for not being so proactive. Who knows.
My partner and I went to KFC last night because the both of us couldn’t be bothered to cook. It was actually my idea, because any time, it seems, is a good time to go to KFC. I guess that’s true if you’re not on some kind of diet or eating food that’s actually good for you. I guess it also wasn’t true last night but I’ll get to that a little later.
You probably already know that I have this love/hate relationship with KFC in Australia. In the USA, I don’t really bother with it unless I can get honey BBQ wings and fried okra. (Yes, our local KFC at home had fried okra and mac n’ cheese.) One of the things I love about this country is that I can get chicken salt. What is chicken salt, you may ask? It’s salt that tastes like chicken. It’s probably some kind of sick combination of chicken stock powder and salt or something. You add it to fries and BAM! The fries at KFC are instantly awesome with chicken salt. (They’re called chips here, by the way.) Another awesome Australian-like food that I love is a good meat pie. I like the ones that mix meat and cheese. I also don’t like it with ketchup (called tomato sauce here).
There are a lot of things that I like that I could go on and on about, but this post is about KFC and my experience last night.
If you didn’t get the hint, it wasn’t a great experience. It wasn’t that the food was terrible, because it wasn’t. I had gotten a Twister (which is basically fried chicken strips, lettuce, tomato, and pepper mayo wrapped in a tortilla). This Twister was really good because I replaced the pepper mayo with bacon mayo. Good stuff. This will be a bit more important later. I was eating it and near the bottom, I took a bite and got something really hard. I thought maybe it was a really tough piece of chicken but it wouldn’t break or crush. I took it out of my mouth and it was a red piece of plastic. It was probably the size of one of my fingernails and it was the same colour as a tomato. I pulled it out and showed J then said, “you know, I’m going to eat the rest of this, right?” There was only a little bit left. So I ate the rest of my Twister.
I’m not one of those people who throws a huge, gigantic fit with stuff like this. I didn’t take pictures of it and post it anywhere (even here). I didn’t threaten everybody there with the plague. I didn’t do anything. I don’t think that’s necessarily a good thing either because well, pieces of plastic aren’t supposed to be in food. I would have just let it go and had plans to just leave after it was done. My partner brought the plastic to them and told them about it because it’s a choking hazard and he’s right. In hindsight, that’s probably what I should have done. Not for free food or anything, but it would be awful if someone actually choked on another piece of plastic. It was that simple. He brought it to them and told them that it was in my Twister and we left.
As I left, I was thinking whether that would stop me from eating there. I have seen the videos of the general grossness that happens with the chickens KFC uses and it hasn’t phased me. Finding a clean piece of plastic probably wouldn’t phase me much, but it will probably stop me from eating there for a while.
I’m a bit disappointed actually. I guess it’s a good excuse to lose a bit of weight. I’m getting a little bit chubby lately. 😉
Valentine’s Day has come and gone and it was pretty uneventful for me. I’ve never been a big fan of that day honestly. I don’t plan to do anything usually. It just comes and goes without a fanfare.
Valentine’s Day also marked our two year anniversary of getting engaged which I was reminded of a few times. I’m not so sure if that’s a good thing or not because two years is a long engagement even for me. It’s also not something I would think of being a really important date either, no matter what day it happened to fall on.
Anyway we basically just left the house and went to eat Malaysian food then went for ice cream. We got home and I think I went right to sleep.
I’ve just been so tired and run down lately that I just want to sleep and I struggle to get enough of quality sleep. It’s been so bad that I had to take Benadryl. I’ve got a little hangover from it today. Not so good. I was starting to get sick yesterday too and I feel only marginally better. If I didn’t have things to do today, I would have taken the day off. Therefore I’m on the train heading to Melbourne. I haven’t eaten anything and I’m fuelled with coffee only. I’m feeling pretty terrible.
Anyway, that’s it from me. I’m thinking about food now and I’m hungry. Off I go to stare out the window for the next 40 minutes.
Soz everybody. I don’t seem to have very much energy this week. Things have been a little bit busier, but no matter how much sleep I get, I can’t seem to get any rest. I’m not sure why. I’ve slept about 3-4 hours since I’ve gotten home today and I’m still tired.
Hey everybody. Sorry for the absence over the weekend. Actually, I haven’t really written anything for a while. The past few posts were done ahead of time. I thought I’d just have a little chat about what’s happening around me at the moment:
New internet connection: We’re set up to change from our phone-based internet service (ADSL/DSL) to something that’s supposed to be a bit faster (and finally, unlimited). I’ve been whining for unlimited internet for a while. Until then, we’re on a data plan for 500 gigabytes (GB). 250GB from 1 am until 9 am, and 250GB for the rest of the day. We’d come dangerously close hitting the 250GB mark for the long hour tier a few times. Once we hit it, we have to suffer through something that’s not even the fastest dial-up speed. Yes, this still exists in Australia. The service we’re moving to is a really crappy, cheap, slower version of what most developed countries have. We’ll still be far behind most countries, but I guess I’ll welcome any speed boost. (When I go to the USA, I’m always so happy to see that it doesn’t take me all day to download stuff. Uploading anything from Australia is a hell-spawned nightmare.)
Chat with the wedding photographer: We had a chat with him and we’re doing a really short pre-wedding photo session in a few months. I hate having my picture taken and posing for pictures is extremely boring, so this is going to be really fun. I’d rather be behind the camera than in front of it, honestly. When it comes to photography, I’m not even any good at it. Videography is a bit better for me, as weird as that sounds. I love making videos of stuff, but there aren’t enough hours of the day lately to do anything that I’m interested in.
Sickness and health: I have been feeling better overall, but decided to eat some food court Asian food, and of course, it made me sick. I’m still feeling the effects of that.
Australia Day: Australia Day is Friday. It’s also called Invasion Day and people have been calling for a date change for a while now. I don’t care what it’s called or when it is, as long as I still get a day off to sit around on my ass, eat pizza, and drink hot chocolate, I’m good.
Nervousness: I’ve been able to curb some of this lately and I’m proud of myself. I just had to change my way of thinking. I’m still shaky like a scared puppy, but at least there is improvement. Instead of being scared of people, I just accept that we all exist on this planet. Most of the time people don’t give a crap about what I’m doing or what I look like so I’m not so sure why I even care. We are all here. We all have to exist and the mere presence of someone being around shouldn’t intimidate me. (I’m still hating huge crowds.)
Summer: I hate summer.
Wedding details: I’m actually in the process of getting stuff together because at some point I have to tell my family and friends about it (which includes some of you too). I’ll share the details when I know (but it can’t be publicly available). It’s another website of mine, and when it’s ready, I’ll share it with you, but I’ll warn you that if I don’t know you well enough, I can’t let you see it. 🙂
That’s all from me right now. I hope everybody’s doing well, and until we have a one-sided chat again, I wish you well. Oh, and I hope you win the lottery. If you do, share some with me, eh?
Believe it or not, I’m still on my Christmas break. I usually take time off at the end of the year so I can catch up on all the stuff that I need to do or travel to the USA or something. This year, I have been trying to keep on top of my coding work since I was running myself ragged during November and the beginning of December. I have another week before I start my traveling 3 hours every day. I guess I’m going to have to enjoy it while I can. The first half of the year promises to be quite challenging, but I’m pretty confident that I can get through it. I have a ton of things to do, places to go, stuff to eat.
Other than that, I’m good. I haven’t been working non-stop but have been playing a lot of games too. For a while, I was buying game after game because it was on sale. I started playing Elder Scrolls Online and it’s fun, but I say to myself that it’s no World of Warcraft. WoW got a bit too complicated, messy and irritating, so I stopped playing it and found better things to do with my time. I haven’t actually played it in several years now. ESO is a bit nice because it plays on my love of Skyrim.
I also picked up Astroneer for XBox One. It’s fun enough but I’m more excited about what they’re going to do with it. It’s basically Minecraft without the ugly blocks, oh, and you can suffocate without an oxygen line that you have to tether to your base. It makes the gameplay pretty fun and it’s really nice looking too. Unfortunately, I was bored with it after a few days of playing it. That’s why I want to see where the game itself is heading.
My partner says I’m addicted but I think of it this way: I don’t like watching movies or TV, so this is what I do instead. I don’t, and can’t, spend 12+ hours of my day every day playing games. I have done that a few times playing Bioshock, but that was a long time ago. He’s got something against gaming in general which is a big shame. I think everybody I’ve been with sees it as a colossal waste of time, but if you think about it, isn’t sitting in front of a screen watching movies just as big of a time killer? At least the added perk of interactivity is there. Sometimes I play games just to look at the artwork or listen to the music. It’s like a big package of nice things. Immerse yourself, I’d say!