Push Up Hell

I am not well. My body is not happy.

push-up

All the muscles that have been sore for the past two days. This isn’t even all of them.

I’m going to sound very whiny for a little bit. Of course, I’m going to be whiny because I am in a huge amount of muscular pain.

You see, last week I decided that it would be a good idea for me to get into shape for pictures that I need to take in August/September. I could really stand to get a bit of my chest definition back as well as reduce my belly fat. (I’ll post more about this soon.)

I told myself that my goal until then is to do at least 100 push ups, sit ups, lunges, etc every day and every other day, go swim at my gym.

The first day, I did 40 of each. I did push ups basically until I felt like I couldn’t anymore because if I push myself, I have a big possibility of doing some incredible amounts of damage to my body. I can’t really do that right now, so I stopped. Day 2, I did about 10 of each because I was really sore too. Like, I would lift my arm and it would be a bit sore. Today, I am actually hurting even more. I should take some ibuprofen or something. I should know when to do these things.

I’m supposed to swim this morning, but can’t since I’m expecting a phone delivery. It would have done me a lot of good too. I guess all hope isn’t lost though.

I always hate these first few days of exercise. I get so worked up doing these things that it’s such a bummer when I have to skip a day or two. I could take ibuprofen before I start but if I do that, I will risk working past the pain and can potentially do some really terrible damage to my muscle.

So… okay. Here I am waiting for a phone delivery so that I can go swim or something. I really would love to go today. The hydrotherapy would be perfect on days like this.

Smaller and Newer is Better

My Sony Xperia Z3 is about to get retired/fired/trashed/recycled and I’m really glad. I grew to really hate that thing. The phone had lost its water-proofing failed a few months after I got it because the front cover started to pop off. I wasn’t really rough with it. I just carried it around in my pocket mostly. I didn’t really notice that the water-proofing failed until I tried to take a picture and it came out cloudy. I looked at the lens, and noticed that there was condensation in it. Fun.

The speaker on it started to sound like it was busted. The vibration on it stopped a LONG time ago. The sound from the headphone jack is awful. There are two piss yellow stains on the display. The damned thing’s charging port is on the left side which prevents me from closing it when I charge (totally my fault for not thinking those things over before I buy the cover). Oh, and if you drop it and the screen cracks, it’s totally worthless and expensive to replace.

I got sick of Sony updating the software for it a year after a new Android version was released. (Sony said they weren’t going to update Android anymore a year after I got it.)

Android, however, isn’t bad. I liked seeing widgets on my home screen. I liked to be able to do more with it. I liked how Android felt and operated.

I am done with it.

My two-year contract with my Xperia finished this month. I ended my contract early because the cover/touchscreen is about to pop off for the third time.

Before I had the Xperia, I had an iPhone and looking back, it was a pretty stable, reliable phone. I didn’t have any major problems with it like I did with the Sony phone. I mean, the phone started swelling, so that’s why I ditched it. Come to find out, it just needed a new battery. I gave it to my ex and he’s still using it.

I decided to get an iPhone again, but it’s not one that people would expect. One of the annoying things about the phone I have now is that it’s an uncomfortable size. I can’t really use it with one hand (and before anybody thinks something naughty, there are plenty of times I needed to pick my nose with the other hand). I’m getting the iPhone SE. I’m getting the 128 GB sized one.

I am wanting to get less obsessed with my phone. I look around now on the trains, trams, and buses and see people with their heads down. People are going to dinner with their eyes fixed on a phone. I figure that a smaller phone will make me look at it a lot less. I feel like it will improve my relationships with other people because I know that I’m guilty at playing with my phone in social settings.

The front camera on it is horrible though but I don’t care.

It’s also over $20 cheaper per month than what I had before. That saved money can go towards bulking powder or pizza.

I’m also hoping to get one of the new 27″ iMacs and I know that having both a Mac and iPhone is a nice pair. I refuse to use that thing with a Windows PC.

Happy Pride

I know half the month has already passed, but I wanted to say Happy Pride Month to you! I don’t hear much about a pride month here in Australia. I don’t know why and I could be wrong. There’s a lot of stuff that I don’t know. If you have read any of my previous posts, you’ll know that by now.

Anyway, I thought I would go into story-telling mode for this one.

The Background

I grew up in a town in Texas that has a population of around 10,000 people. A lot of, if not all of, the people living there are insanely religious. So basically, their way of life is superior to anybody else’s. It was basically a place where you didn’t want to be openly gay. You especially didn’t want to be caught in an interracial relationship. These two things, if I stayed there long-term, would have made my life miserable. I don’t think I would ever get to do the things that I’ve done if I stayed there. I just had to get out of there as soon as I could. It took me a little while, but I finally left.

Figuring Out Who I Was

I’m not one of those people where I can say that I realized that I liked other men when I was a kid. I know some people can say that they knew when they were gay when they were 8 or something like that. I don’t think that’s really possible, but okay. I think growing up, I just didn’t really care. Like, seriously. I didn’t care up until my final year of high school. I had girlfriends, but I only had them because all the other guys did. I didn’t put much effort into them. At the same time, I didn’t secretly lust over any guys either or have any guy crushes.

It kind of clicked for me when one of my friends who was on the football team used to show me his legs. He was really muscular and he’d shave his legs. After he shaved them, he’d tell me to feel how smooth they were. Of course, I did. That was probably my first crush. I realized that there was a possibility that I liked guys, but I largely ignored it. My friend would invite me over to hang out and stuff, but I didn’t do it because I was just a little afraid that this crush would make me fall in love with him (and in a way, I think I did).

I stopped fighting it when I was around 17 and said to myself “It’s possible that I like guys.” In my last few weeks of high school, I started “dating” someone, again, who played football. He went around telling everybody that we were a “happy” couple. It was very brave for a football player in high school to admit that he liked guys, especially in a small town. Since I only had a few more weeks left of high school, I didn’t give a crap. I pretty much knew that I was getting the hell out of my hometown the first chance I got so I could live in peace.

Thankfully, I was never bullied that much. No one wanted to beat my ass and no one threatened me. No one said much, even after that “boyfriend” I had told everybody. Sure, some people would say things every so often because I was a tall, skinny guy. If you didn’t look like you were corn-fed and have a gut, that meant that you were probably into men. I just took care of myself, that’s all.

My Sexuality

I’ve never had any dislike or disgust with women or their parts. I just don’t see that happening. Even while I lived here, I talked to them and dated, but I didn’t push anything. I was a very gentlemanly guy to date.

I just don’t go out of my way to find women. I haven’t for a while. I just don’t think it would be fair for me to be with anybody, male or female, and have someone else on the side. An example: getting married to a woman, but having a relationship with a guy. It’s a pick one or the other kind of thing. My choice for a long time has been men. If that makes think I’m only gay, fine. If it makes me bisexual, whatever. I am who I am.

I’m basically not going to wake up tomorrow morning with an undying need to be with a woman. I’m okay with this. I’m not going to regret getting married to a man.

Why Pride?

Having pride is about spreading hope. It’s a way to celebrate things getting better and improving, but at the same time, remembering what people in the past have done and the lives that were lost to get to this point. I feel like a same-sex marriage rights are there because of gay pride. It’s about accepting myself as who I am and not feeling like a monster for it (of course, that depends where you are and how vocal people around you are).

It’s taken time to realize who I am and to be okay with it. I don’t think I could have done that in my small little hometown. I don’t think I would ever been able to come so far in my life like this. I basically just feel like it’s not my problem if someone doesn’t like me if I like other men and will marry one some day. Life is too short to be worrying about if someone’s going to marry someone of the same sex.

Concluding

Yeah, I had to add this little section because a few seconds ago, I was thinking about what this post is about. I think I went all over the place. Oops. Well, it gives you a little more information about how I feel about being gay (or whatever). I hope one day people are treated equally and it becomes illegal in the USA, in all states, to discriminate against people just for who they love. (You can still get fired in Texas if your employer finds out your gay. Seriously. I don’t think it would happen often, but I’m sure it does… and that’s stupid.)

So Happy Pride Month, folks!

Meeting Nice, Gay Couples Isn’t Easy

I have a bit of downtime so I thought that I would write a little something here. Before we go any further, I have to say happy birthday to the queen because if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be having a day off. So thanks for existing, queen.

One of the things, as a couple, my relationship lacks is good friendly people who are also in relationships. That’s always been a weak spot of my relationships. I think it’s a good idea to build friendships with other couples. It just never really happens for some reason. I jump on gay dating websites looking for couples who are just looking for friendships, but as you can imagine, that’s not as easy to do as you’d think. You have to really ask yourself why they’re on there. Hell, I could ask myself why exactly I’m on there.

I find other couples, but it seems like one of them isn’t very happy with each other or one complains a lot about a boring sex life. That’s when I usually disengage from talking to them. The focus, on the other side, goes from making friends with a gay couple to one guy acting like he hasn’t had sex in 15 years. It’s like they’re super desperate or something.

Every so often, you find a genuine, happy couple who just want to get to know other couples and I think that’s great. I have been talking to a couple who lives about an hour away from us who are in a similar relationship as us: one guy is Caucasian, and one is South Asian. We’ve been chatting about what life’s like for all of us, travel, and stuff. It’s actually really nice. I’m hoping that we can meet up sometimes and do something outdoorsy. I love outdoorsy stuff.

I guess it is possible to meet nice couples and thinking back, I do have some friends who are couples but my partner and I haven’t met them. Our schedules are just too out of whack and we live in the middle of nowhere now. Hopefully that changes, but I don’t have a good idea of when anymore. I am just required to travel 3 hours a day, 3-4 times a week for the next year. I think I can handle that.

Until then, it’ll be nice to meet some guys who similar to us. I just hope it doesn’t get crazy, but I’m sure it won’t. 🙂

My Happy Place: New York

I figured that last post I made about all the useless crap would amuse people for a day or two. I went the safe route and decided to wait 5 days!

One of those questions asked me about when I felt happiest and I said that it was when I lived in New York. I have to say that these days, I am more happy than sad/upset/depressed. I have a lot going on in my head, but overall, I am pretty content. It doesn’t mean that I am unhappy now, it’s just that being in and living in New York was incredible. It was a great experience.

I met some really nice people there and was around a friend of mine who basically did a lot to make me happy. I moved in with him and his place was one of the dirtiest places I’ve been in, so I cleaned up his whole house for him and he was really grateful for that. He had come from a different country and grew up having people who did that stuff for him, so understandably, it was a mess. I helped him past that and once I cleaned it up, it never got messy again!

He was also the first person I ever met that was Muslim too. He was fairly religious and I gave up pork products and alcohol while I lived with him out of respect. He was just an incredibly friendly guy and was really supportive with me leaving Texas the way I did. (I moved to New York right after high school and I did it suddenly. I stuck around for about 2-3 years. I met my friend on AOL (I think) and one day decided to move. Yeah… not a smart thing to do for anybody these days.) That is exactly why I will never be anti-Muslim, plus I see it as a complete waste of time, energy, and IQ.

I remember going to NYC on the weekends which was really scary at first because I grew up in such a small place. I learned to start loving the city and haven’t really been interested in living in a small town since then.

It was New York where I learned what love was and what it was like to be in love with someone regardless of where he might have been on Earth.

It was the first place I had been where it actually snowed enough so that I can make real snowmen. I remember how excited I was when it snowed a few inches. Then, because I had to clean my apartment, I learned to hate when the snow melted or when people walked through snow. Dirt would get all over the floor.

When I moved, it was the first time I had flown in a commercial aircraft for hours. I was so nervous and told the people checking me in that. They were really nice about it.

During the winter, the tree leaves would change colors and it was beautiful. I lived a little upstate, so I did have trees around. I had always heard stories about how beautiful autumn was in the northeast.

It was a calming time for me and it gave me time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and it also allowed me to be somewhat independent. I don’t know whether I used that independence wisely, though.

New York in general was a really great experience. I loved it. I experienced a lot of firsts there. I’d consider moving back there if I could, but I haven’t made a decision yet where I’m going to go and even when. I still have time to decide. I think being older would make everything very very different now, but I think I’d enjoy it.

The List of Useless Crap

Have you ever wanted to know what makes me tick? Well, here’s one of those long-ass questionnaire things for you to learn a little more about me. 🙂

You can always ask me real questions here.


1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
I wish I was shorter and more muscular. 🙂

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
A chicken.

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
I don’t. 🙂

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
Zelda. And Metroid.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
a. Food
b. Exercise (which I don’t do)
c. The general public

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
Unstable contents.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
All the millions of genders people think exist? It’s total bullshit. And stupid.

8: What is your Greek personality type?
Phlegmatic – relaxed and quiet. Shy. Observant.

9: Are you ticklish?
Not really.

10: Are you allergic to anything?
Dust. Mildew. Mold. Cats. Grass. Pollen. Basically air.

11: What’s your sexuality?
I’m incredibly gay. Mostly.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
Hot chocolate. I go on binges.

13: Are you a cat or dog person?
Dog.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
Vampire, though being allergic to sunlight would suck.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
Not really.

16: How tall are you?
I’m 6 feet tall, or 1.83m.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
I like my name. I used to hate it.

18: How much do you weigh?
Around 80 kg. That’s 176 pounds.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
Yes…

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
Ocean? Because that’s the only one I can go to?

21: Are you religious?
No. I am agnostic. I’m not an asshole about it, usually.

22: Pet peeves?
Snoring.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal?
Dinural. Having to work at night and sleeping during the day sucks.

24: Favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper. I can’t see it from here though.

25: Favorite star?
I don’t know!

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
That’s some creepy ass shit. No.

27: Any phobias or fears?
Worms. Caterpillars. Maggots. Slugs… you get it.

28: Do you think global warming is real?
Yes.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
Yes.

30: Favorite movie?
Do I have one? It’s hard to get me to sit down and watch one.

31: Do you get scared easily?
Nope.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
Maybe 5?

33: Blog rate?
Of mine, a 3/10. It’s not that great. And that’s okay.

34: What is a color that calms you?
Blue.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
Canada.

36: Where were you born?
Texas.

37: What is your eye color?
A mix between green and brown.

38: Introvert or extrovert?
Introvert.

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
Nah.

40: Hugs or kisses?
A little of each.

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
J.

42: Who is someone you love deeply?
J.

43: Any piercings you want?
Not interested anymore.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
I do.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?
Smoking kills.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
J is the guy. You hear enough about him.

47: What is a sound you really hate?
Snoring.

48: A sound you really love?
Dachshund barking.

49: Can you do a backflip?
Nope.

50: Can you do the splits?
Never.

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
Not a movie kind of guy.

52: Favorite movie?
Same as #30. (None.)

53: How are you feeling right now?
Unproductive.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
Gone.

55: When did you feel happiest?
When I lived in New York. 🙂 [Blog post about why]

56: Something that calms you down?
Music.

57: Have any mental disorders?
Blogs aren’t good places to post your medical history.

58: What does your URL mean?
Self-logic.

59: What three words describe you the most?
Friendly, nice, and helpful!

60: Do you believe in evolution?
Yes.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
Lack of updates.

62: What makes you follow a blog?
Writing about shit I care about and recent updates.

63: Favorite kind of person:
Nice.

64: Favorite animal(s):
Dachshunds.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
Errr… look on the list on the left side. Pick 3.

66: Favorite emoticon:

67: Favorite meme:
Too many. Too lazy to get it.

68: What is your MBTI personality type?
Introverted – Sensing – Thinking – Judging (ISTJ).

69: What is your star sign?
Sagittarius.

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
I didn’t teach him that but he’s a smart cookie.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
Haha… me? Outfit? I pick whatever is closest to me.

72: Post a selfie or two?
Selfies are for the week.

73: Do you have platform shoes?
Um, no.

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
I’m both-handed.

75: Can you do a front flip?
Sure.

76: Do you like birds?
Yes. Pico happens to be one.

77: Do you like to swim?
I do, but I’m not good at it.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
Swimming.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
Dumb people with kids.

80: Some thing you wish did exist:
A test people have to take to be able to use the computer.

81: Piercings you have?
None anymore. My ears and nipples were done though.

82: Something you really enjoy doing:
83: Favorite person to talk to:
Myself. 🙂

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
Bunch of attention whores.

85: How many followers do you have?
Probably 0.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
Yes.

87: Do your socks always match?
99% of the time.

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
Yes.

89: What are your birthstones?
Turquoise, topaz, tanzanite, zircon. Mostly blue stuff.

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
A chicken the size of a house.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
Bluebell.

92: A store you hate?
Clothing stores.

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
0-2. Any more than that would send me to the toilet.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
Fly.

95: Do you like to wear camo?
Lolz. No. That’s so redneck.

96: Winter or summer?
Winter.

97: How long can you hold your breath for?
Less than 1 minute.

98: Least favorite person?
Too many to name.

99: Someone you look up to:
Good medical professionals.

100: A store you love?
I hate shopping. I’m the kind of person who knows what they want, goes to get it, then leaves.

101: Favorite type of shoes
I don’t have one.

102: Where do you live?
SE Australia.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
Neither but can and have been vegetarian. I grew up in a place with a really big meat dependence.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
See the blue gems on #89? That’s probably one of them.

105: Do you drink milk?
If I have to, yes.

106: Do you like bugs?
I don’t necessarily “like” them. I just deal with them.

107: Do you like spiders?
Same.

108: Something you get paranoid about?
All of life’s what-ifs.

109: Can you draw?
Not that good anymore.

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
When you’re gay and whether you’re single or not, you get asked some really disgusting things. I’ll leave it at that.

111: A question you hate being asked?
Why am I with an Indian and all the stereotypical questions.

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
Yes. A lot. I’m a spider magnet in this country.

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
Yes!

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
I hate the sun.

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
J.

116: Favorite cloud type:
Cumulonimbus.

117: What color do you wish the sky was?
I like the blue.

118: Do you have freckles?
Not really. Just a lot of moles.

119: Favorite thing about a person:
Kindness.

120: Fruits or vegetables?
Both. They’re good for your colon.

121: Something you want to do right now:
Dream. I wish I could just turn on a switch where I can dream. For the most part, I love dreaming.

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
It depends whether you’re in a polluted area or not. “Blue” oceans are nice though.

123: Sweet or sour foods?
Sweet overrules sour.

124: Bright or dim lights?
Dim. I’d live in darkness all the time if I could.

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
Nope.

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
Attention whores. Seems really unorganized.

127: Something you love about Tumblr:
Fun to find certain topics. I feel like I can find anything.

128: What do you think about the least?
More is even better.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
I’m not interested in having a tombstone. Throw me in the ocean or something.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
Donald Trump and everybody who thought he’d be a good president.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
I don’t like to make people upset so end up doing a lot that to make other people happy, even if it negatively affects myself.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
Never.

133: Computer or TV?
I get really terrible TV reception, so I use my computer for the main source of entertainment.

134: Do you like roller coasters?
Sure.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
I do. On my first long haul flight from the USA to Australia, I got really sick.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?
I have ear lobes. I like ear lobes.

137: Do you believe in karma?
Oh yes.

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
Probably 6? I am not ugly, but I’m not gorgeous either. I’m okay wiwth that. 🙂

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
Usually just shortened versions of my name or a combination with my middle name.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
Oh yes.

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
I have, yes. I’m perfectly fine to admit that too.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
Good – 85% of the time, bad 15% of the time.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
I feel like I tend to take more than I give.

144: What makes you angry
When people are treated differently because of how they look, what they believe in.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
English and Spanish (less than fluent now)

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
Haha, non-binaries. I’m pretty gay, so I like guys. (Not boys.)

147: Are you androgynous?
I am not.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
I like my nose. I also like my calves after working out for a while.

149: Favorite thing about your personality:
I like how I am thoughtful. 🙂

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
I would love to see my partner here right now. My mom and my best friend.

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
To me, the 90s were pretty fun but they could have been a lot more productive.

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
Sure.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner?
I met him through OKCupid. The first time we met, we met at a train station then went to Hungry Jack’s (the Australian equivalent of Burger King).

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
Not really.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
Not really.

156: What embarrasses you?
My overpowering nervousness.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
Pretty much everything. Like someone just came to the door wanting to tell me about God (which I told him that I’m happy being nonreligious and he left). I’m still shaky because someone knocked on my door!

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
I fake a lot of sicknesses but to get an extension on a project, I said that someone I know died.

159: How many people are you following?
I don’t know the number, but it’s very low. I don’t want to overfill my feed.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
Around 70?

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
About 30?

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
-Zero!!!-

163: Last time you cried and why:
I was on the train and listening to music. It wasn’t much though. I think sometimes it’s good to invoke those feelings on purpose.

164: Do you have long or short hair?
I have very, very, very short hair. Bald if I can pull it off.

165: Longest your hair has ever been:
When I was younger, I used to grow it out. My parents never really took me to get a hair cut though. It was always my grandparents.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?
As I told the guy a few minutes ago, I am neutral about religion. I’m not mean about it (usually… I can be).

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
I just know it’s here.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?
Nope.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?I haven’t tried lately.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?
Sure I did.


That’s it. You can ask me questions here, if you’d like!

Go Ahead, Ask Me Stuff

Let’s face it. Sometimes, I don’t have anything to say, but I kinda talk anyway. That’s why I want you to ask me questions or make suggestions. I know I don’t have many readers (and that’s okay) so I know this is going to take a while.

So, ask me anonymously, any questions about me, my partner, my relationship, my wedding plans, or anything you want. It’ll give me some content for my weblog here and hopefully it’ll stop me from repeating myself over and over. Or better yet, I can talk about things that people want to know about!

Go head. Head over to my Tumblr page and ask! 🙂

Hospital Anxiety When I’m Not the Patient

I’m a little bit anxious right now because my partner’s in the hospital. In another country. He’s already been admitted and stayed last night. He sent me some pictures of the room he’s in and it’s pretty nice. He seems to be doing okay mentally though. I think he’s just ready to get it done. I don’t blame him.

I know he’s safe and all, but I hate not being able to be there for him when I think he needs me. I’m just happy that he’s getting it done so he won’t have to deal with the pain.

I don’t want to detail the specific details because, well, it’s not nice. I’ll say that affects his ability to move around without being in pain. Nothing sucks more than being in pain when you move around. (It also affects our sex life, but that’s secondary. I’d much rather him be able to move around than the whole sex bit.)

So best wishes, sweet guy. I miss you and love you! 🙂

Origins: How I Met My Partner

Our anniversary is coming up so I thought that I’d talk about how I met my partner. I probably made a post about meeting my partner a long time ago, but there’s no trace of it now since my database was deleted. I thought I’d write again.

We are one of the success stories from OkCupid. I sent him a message knowing that he lived about 70 km / 44 miles away. I didn’t really think, at the time, that he’d respond because I was so far away but we started chatting and hit it off quite well. I remember how excited I was when he’d send me a message or when he’d respond to the messages I sent him.

He wanted to meet up, but I was reluctant to meet up with new people. I finally said that I would meet him. When it came to the day to meet up for the first time, I was sick. I was sneezing and coughing everywhere and had a sore throat. But still, I wanted to meet him.

We met at Southern Cross for the first time. It was actually at the entrance of Spencer Outlet Centre. We decided to go to Hungry Jack’s for lunch and we ate there. It was a really nice connection. We like to laugh about meeting up at a cheap fast food place. (It’s nice to meet someone who likes junk like Hungry Jack’s and KFC as much as I do!)

I soon discovered that he went to the same university that I did, so that gave me a lot of opportunities to see him.

I have the feeling that I had chatted with him before the “first” time I met him. I don’t remember, but I am glad I met him, even if I felt like crap that day. If someone can accept me when I am sick and looking gross, then he’s worth keeping! I’m lucky to have such a really great guy. 🙂

I Miss You

I miss you…

My days and nights have been quite boring since my partner went back to his home country. It’s only temporary though and he’ll be back sometime late next month. It has taken a tremendous amount of control not to post something about how much I miss the guy.

I like to joke around with him telling him that I miss him because I have no one to cook for me, no one to do my laundry, and no genitals to grab (that aren’t my own). Of course, that’s not the only reason why I miss him. I actually really miss his company a lot. I miss having this guy next to me that radiates his love for me. (My radiance is a little harder for him to get, but it’s still there.) God, this is getting way too sappy!

I kind of knew that this little absence will be good for me but I thought that I’d be loving my solitude for a while before I really started missing him. In reality, I started missing him after I dropped him off at the airport and it’s been ongoing since.

Over the past few days, I really wished that he was here with me. I’ve had a rough few days and it took yesterday for me to finally get through it. I had a really bad day on Friday and got really depressed. On my way home, I was a mess but got to talk to J and he helped me feel a bit better. That’s all I really needed was just to hear from him, but it made me a bit more sad that he wasn’t around.

Soon he’ll be back and I am really looking forward to have my man back.