Why is editing audio, especially when it is my own voice, so hard for me? Why do I neglect editing out all the umms, uhs, and other filler?
Sad story here, folks. One that I probably wouldn’t want to talk about on a podcast, so I’ll just type it here. Most of my life, and even today, I have been made fun of because of how I sound. When I was a kid and I started kindergarten, I had to go through speech therapy so I could speak correctly. People would make fun of me because I couldn’t pronounce certain letter combinations, including my sister–but that’s what sisters do so I forgive her.
As I got older, I think that I improved, but of course, if it wasn’t making fun of the way I struggled speaking correctly, it was my voice’s tone. It wasn’t masculine enough. People would ask me about it constantly and some guy was nice to bully me about it every chance he got, though he sounded like he was born into a 10th generation inbred family. Oh, and he died a few years after school…
So past that, it affected me into adulthood. I’d chat with guys (and, yes, girls) online and then they’d want to talk to me. Sometimes, people said “Oh, you don’t sound like I thought you would” and sometimes that would be enough for them not to want to talk to (or chat with) me anymore.
So yeah, I moved here and people sometimes can’t even understand me. Sometimes I’d date people and ask them (by message) if they could understand me. It was usually “mostly”. One of the people I dated said that I sound a lot sexier and manly with a sore throat.
No one’s ever told me they like my voice, basically (except the guy who said it was sexy… when my throat was sore). My partner now makes fun of me even after I’ve told him that it really bothers me. It just makes me extra cranky and even now, it makes me a little sad too.
It all boils down to this: I don’t like my speaking voice. Listening to myself talk is really hard. Going back over the stuff I record is like torture for me. That’s why I’d rather not go back and edit things out.