People have been telling me that they’re worried about me and I’m not so sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I haven’t exactly been the most social butterfly lately and I think people link that with being depressed or something. I’ve complained lately that I’ve been so busy, I’ve been getting a bit more sick lately, but it doesn’t mean I’m depressed or anything. I just make myself a lot busier than I really should be. I have told people that if I’m not this busy and inflicting some kind of pain on myself, then I feel like something is “off”.
That’s probably not the best, or healthiest, way to think.
Since I’ve moved out of Melbourne, it’s been a bit hard to catch up with people as often as I used to. It takes me a while to know people (I’d rather be around friends rather than acquaintances). I don’t think I’ve got trust issues, but I’m one of those people who just don’t require to be around people all the time. I’d rather have a few really good friends than a lot. I’m totally happy with my alone time (most of the time) though it can sometimes be excessive. I don’t really notice it too much though a lot of other people do.
I also get incredibly anxious in social situations. You know how people have this invisible bubble around them where they get super uncomfortable when someone’s in it? Some people’s invisible bubble is really small. Mine’s pretty big. I don’t like people who are that close to me and during the photo shoot the other weekend, it was even super hard to have my partner that close to me (but at the same time, it was nice because we don’t get that close very often).
Seriously, I’m good. I am not unhappy, depressed, or anything of the sort. I’m just a bit busy and trying so hard to keep that culled a little bit. I am thinking of ways that I can de-stress myself, even if it means giving up some of the things I do to keep myself busy.