Under the Tree

Totally not my tree… or presents…

Tonight, my partner’s working late, so I left the Christmas tree on for him to be able to see his way around. But you know something? It took me about 10 minutes to decide that I was going to do that. It was either the Christmas tree or a floor lamp in the corner. I kept going back and forth between the two.

I noticed something though. When the Christmas tree’s lights are turned on, it makes me think back when I was a kid and I’d fall asleep under the tree (and believe it or not, I never once knocked it over). I’d build houses out of the presents (never opened any, even on accident) and play with my toys. Those were some simpler times then. Now, I think about my mom, being back at her house, and just the general sadness I feel because I am not there spending the holidays with her.

I do miss her at this time of the year a lot and on my birthday, it hit me really hard. I was quite the depressed one so I slept for most of it. My partner was irritated with me because I didn’t decide where I wanted to go to eat during the day, so I just stayed home and slept. I was a sad guy and just hid from everybody for the night. The weather was garbage and I just wasn’t feeling it.

I’ve never been big on the Christmas holidays here. It hardly feels like Christmas to me. I remember one year, I just boiled some sausages/weenies and made hotdogs then played games. It wasn’t too bad. Other years, I just went to work.

In the USA, it’s always a really nice feeling on Christmas Eve and Christmas. I get sad when it’s over though, but it’s still nice. Then, New Year’s Eve comes and it’s like a party all over again! Even now, I’m getting homesick so I probably should stop. This is probably why I am always thinking of going back home to stay for good at this time of the year.

One Comment

  1. Greetings from Sydney. I have loved going back to Gouda, which we left, when I was 12, and walking through the familiar streets but Sydney has been “home” for so long! It’s so much more ‘comfortable’ here.
    Christmas in ‘Holland’ has so much more ‘atmosphere’ but………celebrating in the surf or even better, @ River Island, in the nude, is so much more fun/relaxing!!

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