Another start of the week and a new month. Exciting stuff, isn’t it?
In a few more months, I will turn another year older. For some reason lately, that’s been bothering me a little bit. I know that it’s going to happen and no amount of skin cream, magic pills, diets, or anything can stop it. So, like with my baldness, I have no choice but to let it happen as gracefully or ungracefully as it wants. What I can do though is to take better care of myself in the meantime. (You know, like cut out more KFC from my life.)
There are times that I think about my life if I didn’t take the risks that I took. What if I never left Texas and was happy living in my hometown? What if I found love there instead of somewhere else? What if I never moved to New York and NYC? Where would I be if I never moved to Australia? Would any of this make me a better person? How about a worse person?
It’s really hard to say and I guess it’s not very healthy to think about it. One of the things that I think about is how my relationship improved with my parents when I moved away. I don’t think either one of them thought that I would move across the world. Hell, I didn’t think I would either, but I did.
But having moved, I’ve missed out on a lot of things. I have missed being around my family as they got older and I’ve missed out on a lot of major life-changing events for them (like the last hurricane). Not only that, I feel like I’ve abandoned my best friend that I’ve had since I was 13 or 14. I miss her a lot and miss the late nights we’ve had playing games and stuff. I still need that sometimes because as far as games go, here, I’m doing on my own. It’s not fun when everybody around you sees gaming as a colossal waste of time and money. (And yes, I’m this old and still love playing video games.)
Also, I think about my refusal to grow up. I still think like someone who’s 20 years younger. I still want to hide in the clothes racks in clothing stores. I still run from place to place while people who are younger than me probably think “what a weirdo”. I still don’t like paying bills, having most of my day taken up by working, and just being responsible. I think out of my weaknesses, that has to be the worse. I can be responsible though. I can save money. I can work 3 jobs at one time. There’s a lot that I have done and can do.
There are things that I feel like I’m missing out on, but that’s a completely different post. I probably make myself look a little crazy here. I probably am though. Anyway, if I stikc around I will just ramble more–so I’m outta here!