April 2008 Archives

I am sorta here just sitting here basically. I kinda sorta have to. Thought my bandwidth problem was bad last time? I'm into a week of my billing cycle and have 2 more GB of transfer for the next three weeks. You're right, this can't be good and it's not going to be good. I usually make sure people know that my bandwidth is limited and the significant other refuses to up it because he's waiting for the contract to expire in October. So I guess I'm going to have to be like one of those people who sit in the school libraries all day surfing the web. So bad friend. Bad. I know this friend won't ever see this though but I'll still talk to him. :)

The other day I started a blog about how I like Paula Abdul and Madonna is starting to remind me of Peaches. But I'm not going to do that. Not today. (I liked Paula's stuff after they said she started to suck... like "Vibeology" and "Crazy Cool".)

I feel compelled to write about someone else and that is Casey Stratton. If you listen to anything new this month, make sure you give him a good listen. He just released "Orbit" under his independent label. (And I love independent artists!) I said in one of my weblogs a long time ago that a lot of his stuff "knocks me down a few levels" from being overly happy (in my case too happy) to where I'm mellow.

He's definitely getting a lot of plays from my new iPod (and my old one too for that matter). I listened to "Wisdom" probably about 20 times now. It reminds me of one of those songs that you'd hear in one of those "witch" movies they used to make. It has somewhat of a Pagan feel to it which makes it soothing in itself. I'm thinking it would be awesome sounding like it was made in a dripping cave or on one of those small islands with the jungle with who knows what on it and a huge cave. Yeah.

I'm also loving "Stolen Thunder", "You Wanted Out", "Orbit", "Willing to Try" (which hits me so hard in that special place I hide my feelings), "Between You and Me", "Letters to God" and "On and On". Those are just a few that I am listening to at the moment. Like right this second, I'm listening to "Wisdom". It's not often that songs touch me so deeply (and I'll admit that "Willing to Try" made me cry a bit. "That Winter" still has that beat.)

Grab the CD in physical or digital form and I know you'll be happy you did!

And no, this isn't one of those "sponsored" posts. :) I just like his music.

Am I a failure? No. Could you call me a failure? Sure you could. Why? Because the first day of my new diet has started not so good. My friend Peter (who is a pretty awesome person, I must admit. I probably wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for him.) took me shopping today and bought me lunch. I had a lot of steamed dumplings (as opposed to fried like I usually have, so that's a good start and come to think about it, how many fat Chinese people is there?) and a pork bun. I usually got the pork buns from a Filipino restaurant when I lived in Houston so it was really nice. Probably not the best thing.

One thing that I have learned is that it's not easy at all to go out to eat people who aren't on diets. I remember going out to eat with Brandi while she's on a diet and be like "Here, eat this cake. It's good." And she'd say no and I'd be like "C'mon, one's not going to hurt you." Wow, was I a dick. It's really not very nice and now I know how it feels.

I've probably drunk 2 Pepsi's since I've been home and a 7UP. Not only that, I've eaten some chocolate that Peter brought over. Because of time constraints, I wasn't able to go grocery shopping today. So I have a ton of junk laying around, no vegetables and nothing that's good for me.

What did I eat last night, you may ask? Two KFC Twisters, two things of fries, a mashed potatoes and gravy, a slice of cookies and cream cheesecake and a 7UP. Yeah...

So I did that today and picked up one an iPod Touch. It wasn't the 32 GB one, but the 16 GB one. (I figure I won't need all of the space.) I probably shouldn't have but I did. It's pretty nifty. I should have waited for the iPhone to come out here but I seriously doubt I'd have the $700 it costs to buy one, then the $100 a month it costs to keep it on. But that's another day when I go and splurge some more...

So I am going to just sit on my butt playing with my new iPod and eating candy. Not exactly what I was going for. I guess after these assignments are in, that's when I will get my act together... but that's just another freakin' excuse, really. So much for a new me, eh? :)

Here's an ugly shot of me... too tired to take a normal shot:

The ugly green/blue plug is going into the speakers. I have absolutely no idea why I am listening to my music with it... I could easily just press play on my iTunes here (which is open, go figure). I am a strange one, I'm afraid.

So the decision has been made. I won't be back this summer (for the USA) but I'll be away for the summer from Australia. That means no more 110º (F) temperatures for the rest of the year, at least I hope so. I've made that decision based on the fact that I am comfortable here now with or without the reason that I moved here in the first place. I had been struggling to find myself in my own skin, but I think I've got it down. First priority is to finish my coursework. It DOES end in June but there is absolutely no way that I can afford going back home in July. The gas prices are out of control and I will most likely have to pay about $2,200 for a ticket to the USA. So I'm holding out until sometime in November. I will let you know when the time comes. I know that's not something a lot of you want to hear at this point and it does add six more months of me being here. But I promise life will be good when I get back.

So I am the bearer of bad news, right?

Well the good news is that I might take myself (and possibly other people if they want to go) on a trip somewhere. I was just looking around to see where I wanted to go and TravelHero.com has an awesome guide to discount hotel reservations. Just think, I can go back to NYC for a few days or since I've graduated, to Machu Picchu in Peru. (You guys do know that I'm going to Peru right? I need to brush up on my spanish, eh?) Really, how nice is it to find a site that saves me time and money by finding the good rates for me? Yes, I could just show up at a hotel, but trust me, driving all night (or hiking) isn't my idea of a great vacation. (They have a database of over 109,000 properties in 21,000 cities worldwide, one being Machu Picchu!)

So yeah, I was just saying the other day how bad I need a vacation! I don't think I really need one so to say, but it's fun to tell people I do. :)

Ok, so today I wrote down what I ate to see what exactly is going into my body. Instead of writing down all the vitamins and minerals, I focused on the calories (kiloJoules), protein, sodium, fat, saturated fat and carbohydrates. I was actually expecting to go through a lot more fat than I did.

I know making a journal of what you've eaten everyday isn't a fun thing. I figured that out today because if I cook something myself, I am not really too terribly sure how accurate it would be. And I know for sure I'd be going back and saying, "Oh, God, I ate a pickle today. I forgot that."

So how did I do? (To see the FULL chart, you will have to click here... sorry.)

Ah yes. That might not mean much to you now. This is what I ate all day. A lot of the times it's worse or consists about half of this. Just how many food groups am I reaching? Not many. And what I'm about to tell you is based on Australian requirements. They're a bit different from the USA but I couldn't be bothered. So this is how it went.

1. Energy - You're supposed to have 8700 kJ of energy. Didn't meet or exceed that. With the calories, the normal is 2000... same thing.
2. Protein - You're supposed to have 50 grams. Didn't do that at all. Only had about 66% of what I really need per day.
3. Fat - You're supposed to have 70 grams (or can have up to). I had 80% of what I can have. That's OK.
4. Saturated Fat - You can have up to 24 g of this per day. I pretty much got that from the stuff my friend got for me from McDonald's. 90% there. Not good.
5. Carbohydrates - Up to 310 g is okay. I got about 75% of them as I am allowed. My food has way too much because I eat a lot of sugar. (Remember, this isn't a typical day.)
6. Sodium - It gets ugly. 2300 mg is allowed per day and I had 2558.9 mg. A lot of that is from the "just add water" soup I had and the McDonald's junk. I had 111% of what I'm supposed to have, meaning I went over 11%!

What was junk? The custard danish and the berry scroll (it's like a cinnamon roll with raspberry jam) I had to have from the baker. Oh, and the meat I had wasn't enough too.

What's funny is that eating habits like this make a quick and easy road to having high blood pressure like 95% of my family. So it's time for a change.

WHY did I get this information? I'm doing a project on hypertension (high blood pressure) for health education. I can see what kind of garbage I have to inject in my body in 1 day. There are days where I eat two KFC Twisters, mashed potatoes with gravy, french fries, a Coke. And that is for 1 meal! For a while I was going out to eat 2-3 times a day! It's time for a change.

I began by taking "before" pictures. Then I realized that I'm really not fat but I would love to see my transformation so here are the photos:

Not so bad, right? And the first person who giggles about the hair is getting punched right square in the mouth. And if you're family, I know you didn't need to see this, so sorry. :)

Over the next few days, I am going to be posting my health goals and achievements on here. I will be changing my exercise habits (which amounts to walking mostly now) and dietary habits (low-fat, low-sodium, more veggies, etc). I will not be weighing myself regularly because weight is NOT what I am going after. My main goal will to be to get rid of the little fat I do have and trim up. That's it. My plan gets put into motion next week.

I will be discussing a lot of my progress in my podcasts. (And here of course.) Please listen to them and share them if you find them useful.

Ah yes, I'm pressed on time right now. I'm actually already 45 minutes late to class and yesterday I didn't even bother going. Last week I missed Wednesday. I'm debating whether to go today. You may be asking what is causing me to skip class so much. You remember that pain I had last week, well really, it's still lingering around. It's just not as bad as it was. A bit more manageable. On the Pain scale (1 being none and 10 being a LOT), it was around a 7 or 8 last week. This week it's about 3 or 4.

I just don't feel like going to class. Knowing that I only have a few weeks left is doing this to me. So I look for any excuse I possibly can to skip and stay home. But I'll be going today whether I want to or not. I have a group project due next week and I am sure my group members would appreciate seeing me more than once a week.

Well in about 10 mins I'm going to have to run out the door. Before I leave, the dog usually tears something up, pisses in the floor or makes my life miserable so I should go now. I've gone back to download a few of my favorite podcasts and some new ones so I'll let you know how that goes. I'm hoping it will be a fun and interesting learning process so I won't suck as much.

Oh and did you know that triple cheeseburgers from McDonald's are REALLY bad for you? I'm never going to eat one... I don't think I ever have. The sad thing is that the Australian McD's is a little better for you health-wise. There's no telling how bad it is in the US. I have to make an educational video about high blood pressure that's due on Tuesday. I'm using iMovie and iDVD to make it. I might post it as a podcast video but then again, I might not. So that's kinda why I found how bad cheeseburgers are. (And if it was an "educational" video with my project partner, I would be in heaven! Heh heh. But he doesn't swing that way and I am not going to make him.)

OK that's it for now. Everybody have a nice life.

I happily sat down to do a new podcast episode. This one is done basically pain-free and with a bit more energy. I actually talk about things! Wow! And there are a few things I talk about here, so many, in fact, that I'll have to bullet them:

• Updates on my relationship and my advice to others who might be in the same situation;
• My alcohol drinking habits and what happens when I get drunk on two occasions;
• My views on drugs (tiny bit);
• How unorganized I am with this podcast and a special thanks to the people who do listen.
• Thoughts about going to Australian Catholic University;
• Reapplying for the interdependency visa (same-sex relationship visa);
• My speech issues (early in life and I seem to talk in groups of words);
• My newest time span on returning to the USA;
• How awesome are medical professionals (the good ones, anyway);
• Who was it who chewed on a rat? AND
• Begging for links or anything like that.

Want to have a listen? Then subscribe here.

Or alternatively listen here:

idioPod 20: Love Goes a Long Way

Oh and I also say hello to OnglinePodcast, one of the podcasts I really, really should start listening to again and I will. Especially after reading stuff about his latest podcast (as of 21 Apr 2008). I haven't listened to it yet.

Well, as I said before, I'm at a loss of bandwidth for the month so I will post this and then I'll go do something productive like clean up the dog poop in the backyard. You know, because that kind of thing is fun. It's nothing compared to what I had to do earlier but that is in idioPod 20 and it's a secret! (It hasn't been posted yet b/c of the bandwidth problem.) Speaking of that problem, Adobe Updater decided that it wanted to download a collection of 286 MB files. Gilbert came to use my computer and opened Adobe Reader. That's why people shouldn't use my computer without logging off like I told them to.

What I want to talk about is in my next podcast episode, so I'm going to just let you listen to that instead. There is some good news in there and then there is some bad news. But you'll have to listen to it.

I have been working on some updates to the site and... I'm questioning myself whether I am that money hungry or what. Unfortunately, I am one of those people that think that there are certain places for advertising. What I mean by that is when it's relevant. Sure, some of these posts haven't been too relevant to my life. That is just a scramble for cash. I'm not sure if I told you guys but about $80 had to come out of my own pocket for hosting for the year. What's so bad about this? Because it's usually covered. This year is a bad, bad year as far as referrals go with Dreamhost. When I have to pay out the cost of four weeks of train tickets, that's putting me in a bind so I kinda had to.

How am I ever going to get that iPod Touch I want so bad?

So I guess it's time to restructure things a little bit and work around a better marketing model. I do have one, actually but I need someone with better programming skills to hop aboard. And I don't really see it being as popular as MySpace. It would be nice to sell my idea for $16 billion though so I won't have to work again. :)

I am renewing my commitment for idioPod and promise another 10 episodes. That is something not in my podcast. I am going to reorganize idioPod. It needs it.

I do need your feedback folks. Emails, comments here, anything is appreciated. Sometimes I think that people are just WAITING for me to fail and giggling when I don't get any of these things. Well, I'm used to it. There was a serious falling out of personal websites over the years and I understand that things won't be the same most likely.

Anyway, I ramble. I need to find some good websites. I have been thinking of leasing out my webspace (for free) but not sure about that. I do have like 250 GB of space I'm not using and only use about 1% of my bandwidth for my website. I'd like to see some more super amateur podcasts like myself. :)

That's it for now. Enjoy it.

One of the cheapest ways to stay in touch is to buy pre-paid phone cards to call international destinations. Whether you're calling a country in Asia, Australia, the Middle East, Europe or the US, there is always a really good deal lurking around the corner. You can most definitely get a better deal than direct dialling or sometimes with a plan from Sprint, AT&T or Verizon (USA companies). With good phone cards, you can call for much cheaper.

Usually the best way to find cheap calling cards is to use a site like TheRichCom.com to search by country, connection fees and value. Give them a try and get a phone card to call someone far, far away, like I don't know, maybe me? :)

You can choose cards to call practically any country at all and there are actually some cards that allow for free talk time. All you pay is a low hang up fee and usually a weekly fee. But you can chat away all you like for as long as you'd like. Not only that, you have an easy opportunity to earn a 3% cash back reward. Sweet deal, don't you think? It's so easy to find exactly what you're looking for!

Wow, I feel like someone stuck a knife in my head! It hasn't been easy dealing with this horrible, horrible pain. I have to say that on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being no pain, and 1 being excruciating pain), I'm probably at a 7 or 8 most of the time.

Gilbert's back and we haven't had a real chance to bond much because of the dog. The dog has been somewhat misbehaved over the past few days. Like right now he's running around with his food and water bowl but chewing on it and scraping it along the carpet.

We've pretty much decided to continue with the visa process in May. That is going to be worked on tomorrow and submitted in a few weeks. That has a few implications:

• This will most likely keep me in Australia until November at least so I can do my interviews and such.
• I will definitely have to come back in February to go back to school.

So that means that I'm probably going to stay here for a while. When I get back to Texas I am hoping people will still want to hang out and stuff like that.

With that being said, I have to say there is still a part that makes me want to go back to the USA so don't think that I've changed my mind or anything like that. It's just a hard decision and it doesn't mean that one person has preference over another because it's not true.

One of the things that I've learned being here for a while is that Australia's not such a bad place to live. In fact, it's quite nice except for the expensive internet and communications with the "outside world". I'm beginning to live here as it's no big deal but as I've said before, I am really missing my friends in the US.

I still have time to decide what to do but I'm leaning towards staying here most of the year if things go OK and if they don't, of course there's the option of going back home - I'm OK with that. One of the things that does depress me is that I won't have the same job to go back to when I get back. I am thinking a lot of the people there have moved on to the wonderful world of working at call centers. Yuck. If I do go back, I want to have options and work in the health field like I do here. (That's another thing that is holding me back, the qualifications aren't the same.)

Anyway, I am going to go now and do one of the oh-so-popular "sponsored posts" so I can feed my WoW semi-addiction or to pay webhosting bills. :) Bye for now.

Tired of paying top dollar for your magazines you get at the newsstand? Now you can get the best selection of magazine subscriptions at the lowest prices. Magsforless.com has a huge selection of magazines at low, discount prices. Whether you're looking for Forbes, Maxim or US Weekly, they've got you covered. These guys really stand out from the competition with the cheapest prices available and selection.

I have honestly visited their website and wow, I must say that I am impressed. I used to subscribe to Men's Fitness magazine for a lot higher than that. As of right now, a year subscription is only $4.99! And that isn't the only one, there are literally dozens of magazines that cheap. Very impressive, I must say! It's a very good opportunity for me to get a bit healthier, we all know I need it. :)

Visit them and take a look at what they have to offer. I wasn't expecting much to begin with but this is one of the many times where I am wrong, wrong, wrong! Visit Magsforless.com today.

Ah, I am awake now. I woke up a few times last night but still don't feel very well. I have decided against suffering and going to class today. So it will be a day of doing research from home. Gilbert will be home a little later today at some point. And I'm sure I'll get yelled at... heh heh.

It's freezing cold in here for some reason! I barely got out of bed earlier. One of the things I hate about the weather here is that it gets either too hot or too cold. At my other place, I had hardwood floors so around this time of the year, my feet would literally turn into blocks of ice. The carpet here is... well, not very soft so it hurts my feet. (I have very soft feet that hurt if I stand on sand.) I'm relatively new here so I haven't turned on the heater yet because there has been no reason to do that. What is keeping me warm now is my laptop and my dog. This, folks, is why I have a dog. For times when it's getting cold! If I were to step in a warm shower now, my feet would sting so bad and I just don't want to deal with that at the mo'.

Not much to say except I do need to attempt to go to school today. (Our class was cancelled and we're just doing research... I can do that at home just as easily.) So I might try to attempt it. Who knows. I'd hate to waste $5 going back and forth though for a few hours. I have plenty to do here.

ANYWAY, that's it for me. I'm going to do one of them fancy sponsored posts again then I'll go on with my day. :) Bye now.

Being thankful isn't something that is just reserved for Thanksgiving or getting Christmas gifts. It is something we need to do everyday to show those around us just how much we care.

It's even better when you receive one from a company that you've done business with. I'll admit to you right off that I can't stand the real estate agent handling the sale of our other property but I smiled a little bit when I got a "Thank You" card from him once for giving us the opportunity to help and again when we said that he was the agent for us. (Unwillingly, on my part...) But as it's sad, it's the thought that counts.

I'm also thankful for my friend who I made a few weeks ago who happens to be one of the nicest and sweetest people in the world and he's the one that deserves one for cooking for me so much. Sweet people like that need to hear how wonderful they are and I say why not, send them a Thank You card. :) An awesome friend deserves the best! I guess, in a way, I am so thankful so many everyday things and I should be telling or showing people how much I appreciate them.

My favorite cards are red. For some reason, red has always been a favorite color of mine and to me, represents brightness and possibly the brightness of someone's heart. I always said something with red in it is always attractive. Oh, yes, like this red card:

To me, a thank you card written from the heart with a lot of energy and concern is best. I have gotten cards from companies from whom I bought a TV from that say "Thank you for your purchase. I hope you enjoy your new product." There are a few things wrong there. It's not individualized. What product? What purchase? I would like to see that acknowledgement. Encouraging contact after the purchase is important to, so they could say something like "Call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX if you have any questions or concerns." Do you see what I mean? And oh yes, the card should be hand-written. A card printed with a copy/paste feel means absolutely nothing to me except that I am just some kind of statistic or record in a database.

Saying what I've said, whether you want to write cards for yourself or for your business (since I know some of you own a business), you can stock up on Thank you Cards today to send out. You'll make someone's day if you do, I can promise you that. Go out, show people you care and appreciate them. You'll feel better about it too, I bet.

Pip, pip, cherrio! (When I think about Pip, I think about Great Expectations from high school, sad, isn't it?) I never did my required reading for high school though. I don't think I have a reason for mentioning Pip though it is also one of Tori Amos's dolls too. But anyway...

Today I have had my ups and downs as far as my constant, nagging pain goes. It's like everytime I go to take a nap or sleep it really, really hurts. So I get up and do something else. Right now it's not so bad. But the pain has caused me to fill out my nursing registration papers, take two showers, eat dinner and answer my mail. I'm not expecting any miracles though. Oh yes, and I also worked on some assignments which is a plus.

I'm apparently also very excited for my tax refund. I checked yesterday and it said that I should contact the IRS and I was like "Oh, crap. What did I do?" but then realized today that I said that I submitted it in 2007 instead of 2008 so that was the problem. Needless to say, it hasn't been processed yet. I'm jumping the gun a little bit. I am just in need of money, I think. Really, isn't everybody?

AH yes, I know what I can talk to you before. I ran into the backups of my old website at IcyEmpire.com and such. I started that out in 2000 when I was still with Gilbert. I saw how highly I thought about him and how much I truly loved him and how I would walk across an 8 lane freeway if he was on the other side. I'd be lucky to walk across the sidewalk for him now. Being with a workaholic can really take it from you. He's coming back tomorrow morning but told me he won't be here for dinner tomorrow because he has a meeting with one of his bosses. I'm like "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" because I know where I stand on the ladder of priorities. I kinda got used to it. So I guess I'm gonna be eating soup or fries tomorrow.

And I'll admit that my blog entries were a lot shorter, but a lot more interesting too. I did all those bad boys by hand before this fancy-shmancy weblog stuff was made. No search, minimal archives, it was all RAW baby. I remember he actually made a page too but now he wouldn't even bother. It's like having an older brother now who is way too bossy. Well, a bit of an incestuous brother who I can touch his willy and sleep with him in the same bed at night, but you get the point.

I have gotten offer letters from ACU (Australian Catholic University), RMIT and La Trobe University now. But I have to figure out what I'm going to do first. I know that I'm not very enthusiastic about going to a university that sounds remotely religious. RMIT and La Trobe are just too far away. I'm sure if I stay, I'll be going back to Deakin. (Deakin is my first choice though I'd love to go to La Trobe for physical therapy.) My option to go back home is still just as wide open, so nobody fret.

Looking at Deakin's site now there's a link that says "Giving to Deakin". If I go as an international student I'll be "giving" them about 10 times more than what local students pay. That's giving enough. Why the hell would someone want to give them anything? They love money from the international students. But if I do go there, my good friend from class is going too. So I won't be alone.

Thinking of that, I'm going to miss the guys in my class. That goes for the girls too. I hope I don't lose touch with some of them. My drinking buddy is going back home which makes me sad. I don't blame him though. I told him it's OK. Look at me! But not for the same reason... you know?

OK OK OK OK OK... I need to sleep so goodnight. I need sleep.

This episode was done while I was in a bit of pain so if you thought my other podcast episodes are random, this one is even worse. I talk about way too many things from my taste in men to the reason why I am in pain to a little begging to promote my website in one form or another. Something like that.

And I didn't realize just how lazy I am until I made this thing.

Anyway, I hope it's a little better than the other ones. Still lacks professionalism, but, um, that's OK. I don't expect greatness and neither should you.

Want to have a listen? Then subscribe here.

Or alternatively listen here:

idioPod 19: Pain is So Painful

(I went back to posting as MP3 format again and will stick with it.)

How many of you are members of every social site available? What I mean is sites like MySpace, Facebook or Bebo? Yeah I have my share and I'll admit it to you and the world, I have one just because everybody else has one. I sorta slacked off my MySpace account because I was realizing that family members (the pre-18 year olds) wanted to be my friends. Well, my private life involving my partner and I is just that, private. The last thing I need is my cousins blabbing everything to my aunts, uncles and grandparents about how frustrated I am with my sex life. Or, you know, my strong affection for asian men with a buzz cut or/and in business suits because things like that are secrets!

You may have noticed that I don't have them listed with my website at all unless you want to go look at the sidebar. I think that's a little unfair so I will go ahead and make some suggestions and give you my opinion on these sites. That's because I know you want my opinion, RIGHT?

MySpace: Always cluttered, always overrated. Always looking like someone barfed a theme on profiles... great fun. You'll notice that I don't have a theme except "MySpace Boringness" because what exactly are you expecting a page that has my dislikes and favorite stuff to look like? Vegetable soup? All the spam irritates me. All the stupid bulletins irritates me. The only thing that I do like is that I can read about people in high school who apparently do a bit better than me but they're still living in the same backwoods town I lived in. I am across the world and believe me, I'm proud of it. You can see my MySpace page here.

Facebook: All the application invites are enough to turn a nun to drinking. I especially like the applications that don't let you see these crappy "quiz results" (aka another excuse to advertise something) without inviting 20 friends. I don't even HAVE 20 friends on Facebook. I guess I'll never figure out what Disney princess I am. What I do like is the simplicity. You can view the stuff you want and ignore the crap you don't care about. View my Facebook account here.

Net4Mac: New. It's only for Mac elitists, you know, people like me who run around bashing people who don't use Macs because when God said let there be light, he was talking about the Apple on the back of the laptops. Oh, no... no, really. I don't care. What pisses me off is that you have to use their software to access it. It's only for Macs. It's basically a web browser that restricts you from going to other websites. That's it... so why can I just save myself the download time and use Safari? There's no point. I remember some of the questions was "How many iPods do you own?" and "What kind of printer do you use?" Who the heck cares? I don't. I am not going to date someone because they have an iPod or iMac. I couldn't care any less than I do now. And since this is a Mac-only thing, I can't link to it. I'm definitely not going to tell you to download any software.

Right now, the possibilities are endless. Join one or join all! I just find my website to be the best option. No restrictions what I can say, do or think. If you know of some super cool ones, let me know! :)

A double-post for today. I don't really enjoy doing double-posts but I think that it will be alright!

Today I am in pain. I attempted the 1,000 Steps again. I did at least get somewhere this time. The last time, I got to the stairs part and was totally exhausted. This time I got to 200 steps exactly and went back down. Talk about freakin' exhausting! My thighs and calves feel like they're on fire! Am I really that much out of shape? I think so. I felt embarrassed going back down and I pretty much kicked my self-esteem all the way down but I did get somewhere this time, right?

Today, my legs hurt, my back hurts and I have this really, really bad pain in my jaw that goes all the way up to the temple of the right side of my head. I am so tired of being in pain and this time I sorta know why at least. Any pain anywhere makes my head feel like it's going to explode.

So I woke up. Then went back to bed. Then I woke up. Then I went back to bed. Then I woke up... and went to the city. (I slept most of the day.) I just got back about an hour ago. My dog was glad to see me though I had only been gone for about 3 hours. I'm getting him housebroken, finally. He tends to get a little too excited when I come in to pet him so he pees everywhere. I got to the point where I stopped making a deal about it because it's not really his fault. He stays in a room with brick/tile on the floor so it's not so bad cleaning it up.

My friend was over here and asked why my dog's forehead gets wrinkled and I told my friend it's because he's concerned. My friend started laughing... I guess because he thinks I'm crazy? Of course I tell him all the time that my dog tells me things like:

• If I don't get an iPod Touch, he's going to kill me.
• If I don't get an iPod Touch, my mom's going to kill me.
• If I don't get an iPod Touch, my partner's going to kill me.
• If I don't get an iPod Touch, I'm going to kill myself.

It doesn't work! Heh heh. And no I'm not going to kill anybody or myself if I don't get an iPod Touch. I even tried to say that Jesus told me that I need to get one. He didn't believe that either. I really want one for some reason but I think the iPhones are coming here. (Funny, iPod and iPhone is in the spelling dictionary here... hmmmm... but not iJesus or iCheeseSteakSandwich. Damn Apple!)

Well despite my careless attitude, I'm off to sleep I guess. I probably won't sleep long though, I seriously doubt I will.

Oh I did get to chat with one of my neighbors today. We're having problems with parking here. I'm tired of it taking 5 minutes to get out of my carport instead of 1 minute like it's supposed to. One of the units here has like 8 people living in it and guess what? About 6 of them have a car each. Damn them!

Goodnight to you.

Hey and hello all you wonderful people. OK, so maybe I'm rubbing that in too much. Who knows. It's not even 8 am and I just woke up to dreams about talking to someone who's dead (I did know them) and going to lunch with them at KFC. Then I walked into the elevator and like elevators always do in my dreams, it fell. That's when my friend was nice enough to beat on my window to wake me up which really pissed me off. I woke up in a nervous wreck.

I've realized that I have more fears than I think I do as far as dreams ago. They may be telling me something. In so many dreams I am left in the dark and can't see a thing. Sometimes, when I have a cold (or just for the hell of it) I dream that I am stuck in a really small place and can't get out. People who sleep with me during that time say that I stop breathing for a while or my breathing gets so labored and stuff that they wake me up. Then there's the elevator thing. It's like an everytime thing.

So anyway, crazy things happen to me while I am asleep. They always do. I haven't slept too well lately either because, well, I don't really know. I could spend all day asleep and feel like complete garbage when I wake up. It's getting old. I know what some of it is, but I'm not going to express that in this weblog.

Or something like that. Anyway, I am going to go now because I am trying to type this at an angle and it's just not working out for me. I hope this finds you well and I hope that it inspired you to do great things like, I don't know, make me some fizzy bathtub balls. :)

Bye for now.

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One of the things I have always liked were those balls of who knows what that you throw in the bathtub and they fizz for a long time. I thought the fizzing action was cool but unfortunately I don't have a tub here and I just don't think you can get the same effect of throwing one of these little guys in the shower. Plus, I'd think people would really start to wonder about me... hmmmmm...

I woke up around 3:15 am and just couldn't sleep very well. My dreams were seriously messed up for some reason. I remember people being zombies and stuff like that and I had to get away for some reason. I found a car with my relatives in it who were all alive and that was it. Happy ending to a scary situation. In my head I was thinking, "Wow, when does this happen in dreams?"

My sister was a very important part of my dreams last night. She was always looking for me, usually after work and to buy a pizza. Yeah.

Then I just woke up from a dream about this "guy" named Lance who looked like a lesbian. He was actually dating this girl who I remember from high school and she was on her cell phone crying. I was inside a convenience store looking out sitting on the floor and another old friend of mine was with me who I haven't seen for YEARS. In fact, these dreams had a lot of friends I had over the years. Anyway I don't remember how that ended though I woke up to let the dog out.

I remember the days when I was a kid and I would move to a new place and go out and meet new friends. You know, the whole "What's your name?" kind of thing then "Oh, let's be friends." If things were still like that, I wouldn't be so lonely. If I did that now, people would probably bury a knife in my skull.

I miss my childhood. I miss playing with Legos all night on my self-scheduled "Lego Night" which was on either a Monday or Thursday. I miss sneaking things to look at like my dad's naughty magazines (just Playboy). I miss going out for hours on end in the heat to run through the forests, climb trees just to get all scratched up by thorny vines. I actually miss being excited about video games and how simple they used to be in the 80's and 90's.

Of course I'm not going to go all Michael Jackson on you or anything like that. But wasn't life simple? And I'll admit that my childhood probably wasn't the best there was, things were a lot more fun and simple.

I still miss those old friends from back in the days, you know, until they started suspecting that I was "different". I was "different" but very silly. No one had a sense of humor like mine... a lot of people just didn't get it. By the end of high school I did have some close friends but of course I haven't seen them since.

Well it being a little past 4 am I think I should attempt to go back to sleep. I thought about playing WoW but I can't be bothered. So it's back to bed for me. Good night. Today I'm going to have a movie day and make some tinola with my friend here.

Being internationally trained and working in the medical field, I can see why it's important for us to speak English well. With so many international applicants in nursing, sometimes the field is crowded with people who's language skills lack. This causes problems not only for the patients or clients themselves, but the medical staff in general. And this causes so many problems that are definitely unavoidable.

Companies such as Executive Language Training will help someone drop the accent with their Business English training.

They not only specialize in reducing accents but also emphasize on business and technical writing, oral communication, vocabulary and presentation skills. And sadly, as someone who needs to polishing on all these things, I'm a perfect candidate for doing this! It's a fantastic opportunity to improve myself while gaining the knowledge I need not only to boost my career but to make life more interesting outside the business world. Get the facts and improve yourself!

This post will be a simple one. Nothing too emotional and needless to say, nothing too interesting either. I can promise you that.

I did sign up for a new Fanbox account but I don't think I'm going to use it very much. It's slow, impractical and just so buggy. So why am I mentioning it? Well it is an interesting concept. What concept is that, you may ask? Well it's a web-based operating system. I'm not sure if a lot of you have seen one before but I really believe that they'll come bigger and better. I'm sure Google, Yahoo-Microsoft and AOL will want a bite out of it too. In a way, the concept has existed for years but now people are finally doing something about it. But yeah, I don't have the patience and definitely don't trust online applications that much, you know, like word processing and presentations and junk. Anyway, that's the nerd part of me talking.

Speaking of nerds, I have updated my links page on my website. I added a few new websites, changed some podcast information and a few other things. I also made idioPod.com kinda-sorta redirect to my personal website. Not sure if I will cover the costs for that domain next year. I just didn't want anybody to steal the name!

It's 9:40 and I'm tired for some reason. My holidays are almost over so I will have to go back to my regular sleep pattern. I also need to stop playing nerdy games so much.

That is about it for now. I was at perverted-justice.com and there are some really, really sick people in this world. It's funny, in some of the IMs those old guys send to those "little girls", that's what people sound like when they chat with me. There were so many times when I was like 15 or 16 and talking to guys who wanted to get in my pants - I could have turned them in and been a very happy guy knowing I kept these guys far away from people my age. I think the main idea of that is to not let the internet ruin your child's mind. God, and parents need to watch what their kids are doing... really.

Anyway, I've raved and ranted so I'm done. Lesson learned: all that is technology, doesn't change the world for the better.

Again I'm going to post-date this for tomorrow because well, in about 30 minutes it will be tomorrow. I'm not feeling too well right now because I think I ate too much sugar and I just got back from going to engrish.com. That's always a fun read. I giggled like a school girl when I read some of the signs. Really, are signs that bad in Asia? You'd think that sign makers might know a little bit of English, yeah?

God I've been up since pre-7 am this morning and I am dead ass tired. I actually sat here to record a podcast episode but I decided against it. I mean, does anybody really care anyway? Probably not, so what's the hurry?

I have been somewhat depressed as of late but I am slowly getting back to myself. I do have some great people around me here who make me feel better. Speaking of which, my friend took me to KFC where I got my favorite thing: a Twister. (I didn't know if they had them in the US or not, but anyway it's a bit of a chicken wrap.) And did you know what it came with? Honey BBQ sauce like they put on their wings in the USA. Oooooh it was so good. I would have eaten three of them if I didn't have to eat fries and mashed potatoes too. I swear, KFC keeps my ass alive over here.

Because I am socially dead right now, I'll go ahead and head to bed. Feel free to rummage around my website. I know about 99.99999999999999999997% of you won't bother. Of course, that's without me telling you that I have hidden some naked pictures in places where you really have to look. Yeeeeah, that is a lie.

I'm outta here.

I was thinking about something the other day when I was trying to sell Gilbert's laptop. I looked at it and it had one of the 3 1/2 floppy drives on it. Do you know how much that will hold? 1.44 MB! Let's put that into perspective:

• A small Keynote presentation could fit on it. (Keynote is the Powerpoint for Mac but much better)
• A very, very small image could fit on it... 1 image. My digital camera creates photos that are about 2 times the floppy drive's capacity!
  
• A very few Word documents could fit on it.
  
• A handful of applications might be able to fit on it.

Who knew we were going to live in a world where files were going to be much bigger? I remember the days of the 5 1/4 drives and how we shouldn't leave them on the drives themselves at school. I'm sure my elementary school still has them. Or yeah, the probably replaced all the Apples with PCs now I'm sure. In high school they were in the process of doing that.

Why I bring this up is that my dad, when we were looking for a computer for him a few years ago, wanted a floppy drive. I told him no, that the floppy drive is no longer needed and he was curious where he was going to store his documents and stuff like that. I told him on rewriteable CDs or DVDs or something like that. Or even a flash drive which I think at the time came in at an average of 1 GB each.

I still have a problem telling him the difference between memory (RAM) and disk storage. I think he thinks it's funny when I get irritated over that. He always said to me, "Don't use all my memory up." And it totally irritated me. The sad thing is that a LOT of people don't know the difference. And that in itself irritates me!

To save me the trouble and agony, I'm going to start referring people to companies that do computer technical support. They're good at explaining things like that and helping me keep my sanity! Have a problem setting up the wireless modem? Having trouble setting up the new webcam? Have tons of viruses and just don't know what to do? No, Ben doesn't deal with that. :) That is one of the reasons Ben owns a Mac. :heh heh:

So yeah, I've been silent over the past few days. I'll admit to you right here, right now that quite a few things have been bothering me lately. I'm back to questioning what exactly I'm doing here. Everybody and their grandmother knows that I didn't really expect things to turn out the way they did but well, I guess that's life. And life for me hasn't been the easiest lately.

It's funny because the things that made me leave my last relationship back in 1999 is happening with this relationship. You know, after a while of being told how "horrible" you are, you sort of get tired of hearing it. And it can be horribly destructive too. This is probably the worst I have felt, ever. And that's pretty damned bad.

My weekend consisted of me sleeping about 1/2 of it and playing WoW for hours on end, even through the boredom.

You know, I'm tired of being lied to. I'm tired of things happening as a surprise. I'm tired of someone telling me that if I would work more, I would feel much better because you know, money makes everybody happy. You can always buy happiness, right? Of course, that comes in the form of material possessions!

Gilbert was supposed to be back yesterday but of course that's been moved up two weeks. And I told him upfront that I seriously doubt that he'll be back then. Even if he does, he'll be here only to leave again for a few more weeks. So this is where I ask myself, why the fuck am I here? I guess to spend time in solitude with a dog who acts like he has ADD and no bladder control? But again, he's spent more time with me than Gilbert has in 1 year which is sad. At least he doesn't tell me how bad I suck.

I sorta wanted to shut everybody out over the weekend. I was hoping that someone from home would talk to me but I have a better chance it seems to be kidnapped by aliens. I even told them how to contact me with a local number, IM, email and a postal address and I still get no communication which really makes me sad. I would feel like no one there wants me either but I know better than that. As for here, I think I speak for everybody when I say it's better for me not to be here.

It's just really sad because there's not a single person I can really talk to here and I can't even get that from the 'net either.

I feel like I want to leave this place but I don't want to go back to the US where I have absolutely nothing and have to start from scratch yet again. That gets really old and stale. I am getting so tired of feeling decently one minute then hearing that I'm doing NOTHING but freeloading the next. No, I mean NOTHING like sitting around drinking beer and watching TV. I don't get any credit for anything I do.

In lighter news, I did make some really good fried chicken tonight. I also made some "butt. whole potatoes". (That was on a school lunch menu back in high school. My sister and I giggled about it.) No, they were potatoes with sour cream, cheese, fried chicken, margarine and ranch dressing. The ranch dressing kinda ruined it though because it's not very good here. It tastes like mayonnaise. And that's disgusting.

My friend also got me a bouquet of flowers which are pretty and I'd take a picture of them but my camera is nowhere to be found. They're starting to get a little limp so it's making me sad.

So that's what is going on. I said I would try to be more positive but I just want to tell you that it's hard to do that here. And since I don't have many options to vent, I have to do it here. So, I'm sorry.

Uh, ewwww...

Why in the hell would I want to open this email? I mean yeah it was in my spam folder, but why in the hell would I even care about this? I guess they know that I'm from Texas but this is freakin' ridiculous.

This is a snapshot from my Gmail account:

That is all for now. :)

Ah, lots of anger in last night's post I admit but believe me, it's how I feel. I was supposed to get up early today to go to the city so my friend can cut my hair this afternoon but I haven't really made an effort to get dressed or anything. And it's also 8º C outside right now (which is 46º F, all you people in the US). I'm about 95% sure that it's even colder inside. It always is. It's not supposed to get much warmer today and in fact it's supposed to be wet and windy. Ah, just like New York again!

So yeah I am freezing to death almost. Though it pretty much stays on par with Texas weather here, I am not used to this cold. I was more than ready for winter though but that's before I realized I just didn't get enough of the warm sun. The sun here is deadly though. It causes a lot of skin cancer.

For shits and giggles, I thought I'd post a picture of what I look like now so you know how bad I need a haircut. We'll call it a before picture:

Definitely not my proudest moment. DEFINITELY! It's uncontrollable and it's falling out. I have actually cancelled appointments because of it. And you're asking why I waited so long? Because I'm a nice guy. And what's funny is that it has been brushed that day but it just goes whereever it wants to. My friend is supposed to highlight it but I don't know how that will go. Nothing looks worse than a balding guy with highlights. :) But he needs to do it as part of an assessment, so yeah. If I looked good with a shaved head, I'd just do that.

I have no idea why I wrote in here today. I really don't. Maybe it's to prove a point that I'm lazy and cold and ugly. Who knows. I should get dressed now to go. This has to be done. I wish I had a camera so I could take some photos today but I lost mine, you know, the one that doesn't work half the time...

April is the month that determines whether I'll be here until November. May is extremely important. I'm already pissed how this month is starting out so... yeah, we'll see.

Someone who knows a lot about moving around a lot is me. And time and time again, I find myself in a horrible rush to get things together on time because I usually have time restraints. I'd much rather skip the packing and physically carrying things down stairs then up the stairs again so the last time I moved in October, I let someone else do it.

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So use relocation.com to locate moving companies who are close to you and make your move a whole lot easier and a lot less stressful!

Alright so I get told today that it will be two more weeks before he comes back home. I told him that it's OK because I pretty much knew he wouldn't be back when he said he would and this time I wasn't really surprised or disappointed because I knew there would be a reason why he'd stay in Sydney.

Wonderful how those kinds of things work out, right? I think it's sad that I can't trust anything he tells me anymore and I pretty much knew that he wouldn't keep his promise to be home this weekend. I mean, why would he come home now when he totally missed Easter?

Oh that's right, because work needs him to stay a few more weeks. Screw the relationship that's on pins and needles on the edge of a cliff or should I say "one foot in the grave and one foot on a banana peel"?

My patience is running thin. It really is. I'm not in a forgiving kind of mood as of late. People walk out on me, that's their problem, not mine. Right? Right.

And I am tired of arguing about the trivial things in life with people. I am genuinely tired of bickering, arguing and explaining things that are not relevant to the situation or it's not something people need to know. I don't understand why I have to explain who all my friends are to other friends, honestly.

Let's just say I have myself in a jam. One made out of feces. Tired of this situation. Really tired of stressing myself out. So sick and tired of losing what hair I have left over someone stressing me out. And if you're reading this, and you'll know who you are, then chill the fuck out. You've heard it before, so hear it again:

Chill the fuck out!

OK, two different things going on in this weblog entry. Have you read my April Fools' blog? My sister guessed and she got 3 of them wrong. 3 out of 25 isn't bad, especially for my sister. Can you do it?

Oh and Hillary Clinton, I did give you money. But stop making me sound so cheap by asking for $5 more every two emails. I'm doing pretty damn bad even taking care of myself, why would I give you money that I can go to Hungry Jack's and get a burger, fries, drink and ice cream with? ANSWER that! :)

Hi everybody. This is a very late night post reflecting on a few things that have been happening. First thing, I have stopped updating my MySpace weblog for obvious reasons. I am going to continue posting all my regular blog posts here.

I was reading through them and I have had some serious ups and downs over the years. It's surprising that I am where I am today considering all the shit I had to go through. I am very shocked that I'm still here, honestly. I realized back then that I was in love regardless of my partner being a giant douche. Sometimes I wonder why I deal with it.

What I realized most was that I had a lot of fun in Texas with Brandi, Kate, Rowdy, Travis and all them. I remember when I actually felt comfortable getting naked in front of people after I got completely smashed from drinking too much booze. I remember the trips we took to Ghost Road to find ghosts and hearing voices in the car that weren't there. You know, not to mention how icy cold it got in there at some spots. Creepy.

I have to admit that I miss someone being there, mostly Brandi. She's an awesome friend who I know I shouldn't have left in the first place. I liked living so close to her and just being able to go over there to bother her when I needed to talk to someone.

Here, it's a bit different. I have friends here, of course. I have some good ones but rarely do I feel comfortable enough to tell them what's really going on in my life. I don't think there's a single person who gets that luxury. I keep forming these relationships all for the wrong reasons, hoping that I have someone just to hang out with. But "hanging out" here doesn't cut it for most people. That's usually a non-verbal invitation to jump in the sack I guess. There is no single female here who knows that I like men. So that makes it hard too.

I keep telling myself that I am almost done but I have no idea what's going to happen after this. I have pretty much gotten myself into such a deep muckhole that it's impossible to get out. I have a dog here who I can't leave with Gilbert in fear that he won't take care of it.

Honestly, I am doing okay. I'm usually not full of drama. I don't feel like posting everyday either. I do mostly because though I have all these people around me who aren't necessarily of the highest quality, I feel a bit alone. Gilbert comes back on Saturday but I'm sure I'll be tired of him being around by Monday.

So there's a lot to reflect on. I miss the good times. I haven't had many since I've been here mostly because school (and getting to and from) takes all my time. I don't work much but when I do it's been awesome.

This is April now. It has almost been a full year that I've been away from friends and family and I am shocked that I'm here, as I said. I am proud of myself but no matter how proud I may be of myself, I won't feel like it's good enough. The journey isn't over yet. I still have work to do.

Well that's all from now. Welcome to those people who I directed here from MySpace. :)

So today's April Fools' Day. Instead of doing something cutesy here like saying that I'm going to be closing my website (like anybody would give a rat's ass), I'm just going to live today as if it is any other day. I remember my dad would wake me up around 4 or 5 am to tell me that school was cancelled. Of course, our school never cancelled unless it was some Christian holiday so I knew that was a lie.

I guess what it amounts to is that today is the day you can tell lies and it's OK. So this is the time where I am going to cloud my weblog entry with random facts about me. Of course, some of them are lies too. The first person who figures it out gets their postcard mailed to them! (So make sure you leave a valid email address in the comments, right?)

Here we go:

1. When I go out to eat, I like to order lobster, steak and all the expensive stuff only if someone else is paying.
2. The phrase "Drying off" makes me giggle.
3. I have had 5 serious relationships: 3 with girls and 2 with guys.
4. I'm seriously considering getting liposuction on my stomach.
5. I have travelled extensively in Europe. I spent about 9 months around Germany.
6. My favorite candy here in Australia is "Turkish Delights".
7. I am vegetarian when it's convenient for me.
8. My very first love was Filipino/a.
9. I consider myself to be arrogant and self-absorbed.
10. I thought Lisa Lopes could turn me complete straight. (RIP Left Eye)
11. One of my favorite games is Metroid for the Gamecube.
12. I go to the movie theater about three times per year on average.
13. I only date Asians. That's all--ever.
14. If I could, I'd stay in the shower for an hour.
15. I refuse to give up my Americanisms.
16. I like living in Texas because of all the Mexican construction workers.
17. Thursday is my favorite day of the week but I hate Wednesdays.
18. I have two degrees in finance/economics and computer science. I'm working on a third.
19. Drinking a lot of coffee does absolutely nothing to me.
20. I like the number 8 because it "looks like a snowman".
21. I own every single Tori Amos album including the compilations.
22. I have a son named Jeremy who lives with his mother in Austin, TX.
23. I always have a schedule to adhere to.
24. I completely support gay marriage.
25. I would rather go to the mountains than the beach.

Okay, now you get to pick out the lies and if you do, I'll spend the money to send you something super special! :)