January 2007 Archives

Hello everybody. How's it going? I thought I'd write something here while I had a chance since I won't have time tomorrow or later today. So today's the last day of the month then February comes. I'd love to say that January has gone by so fast but it hasn't for me.
Gilbert's birthday is next week and it's a shame that I am not in Melbourne with him. I really wanted to be, but there's not much I can do about that now.

We decided that we're going to save what we would spend on each other for Christmas and our birthdays (they're almost 2 months apart exactly) and take a trip. That's why we're going to Chicago possibly. I want to see him a lot. I'd just wait if I could but that's impossible for me. I am getting so antsy because I miss him a lot. Anyway, you get the point.

Yesterday's podcast was horrible, I admit. I sounded so sick. The audio quality was horrible. For some reason yesterday I woke up with a stuffy nose and a raspy voice. I pretty much woke up and 10 minutes later started to record. I couldn't even listen to it. I'm trying though.

I'm supposed to go to the city this weekend and Roy and I are gonna hang out. I was actually gonna stop by the Apple Store but I don't think I will. I really don't need to.

Anyway I should go because I look like an orphan right now. I haven't shaved for days. And for some reason I am getting a lot more pimples than usual. Not horrible ones though. And I need a haircut which I was gonna do today. I might leave work early tomorrow and get one.

Anyway - on that note I need to bathe. Really, I do. (I don't stink or anything, I just need to bathe...) But yeah on that note, there was some sort of something I bathed with in Australia that made me feel like I rubbed menthol all over me - I felt refreshed after I showered. But anyway... ;) Bye now.

Listen here, listen now for the 2nd (really 3rd) podcast about my thoughts on religion and a bit about racism and interracial relationships. I'm by myself for this one. Don't miss the last one, it's freakin' hilarious.

IdioPod 2: Religious Racism

Or subscribe with iTunes right here.

That's it for now... I gotta go.

Ok, feeling much better today. A lot less depressed I guess.

I listened to my podcast today at work and I was cracking myself up. Isn't that awesome when you can listen to yourself and a friend talk and really laugh your head off? I definitely said some things that probably didn't need to be said but isn't that the fun of it?!

I am also going to try to get Travis on my podcast too. He's very conservative. He's probably the complete opposite of me but he's just as crazy sometimes. But it is definitely my aim to invite people to be on it with all kinds of different views. Most likely, he'll be a regular. His position on immigration will be a fun one. I definitely want to touch the US-Mexico immigration issue with him.

If you haven't listened to the last podcast you really should. :) It's funny as hell.

I was gonna stay up and work on my website a little more but I'm afraid I won't do that tonight if I plan on making a podcast tomorrow. I can't guarantee that it will be ready tomorrow though - it depends on when I wake up really.

I am off from work on Friday & Saturday so I might just escape this place for a few days. I'll be shopping for a decent portable voice recorder... I was thinking about getting something that attaches to my iPod. Not many Mp3 player/voice recorders are Mac compatible... or honestly, do they have to be?

And hello to all my new viewers and listeners. Thanks for coming. And again, another special mention to Ongline Podcast for the wonderful plugging of my podcast and website. It's much appreciated!

I thought I'd have more to say but I'm actually pretty sleepy. My nose is getting really itchy and I am coughing and sneezing - I hope I am not getting sick...

I thought I'd update my journal by saying a few things. Yesterday I was quite light-hearted and all, but today things have pretty much gone sour for me. I know this will sound strange, but I guess I'm not keeping myself busy enough. A lot of my free time is spent thinking about Gilbert which in turn makes me think. And I start thinking just how much I want to go back to Australia to be with him. I think of all this struggle that I am going through to be with someone. I found myself calling him about 7 times over the weekend for absolutely no reason at all which I guess is good in its own way - but I'm sure that gets bothersome.

I found myself walking around Wal-Mart today thinking about him and how I give up so many things to be with this guy. I gave up a DVD recorder to be with him. At this time too, I see people and they all just look beautiful. I see their partners and I think to myself, "Why can't I be normal like those people?" To me, I am unique. "Normal" really doesn't exist but I wish my partner could be with me here.

The people around me just started getting more attractive. For about an hour, I have no idea where the ugly people went to, maybe their caves, but everybody looked beautiful in their very own way. But the more beautiful I thought they were, physically, the more depressed I would get. This depression really affected me and the people around me. Moods really do rub off on other people. I had to tell Kate that I was sorry for being such a dildoid. (If you play Animal Crossing, you know what I mean by that).

I have also thought a bit about immigration as far as illegal immigration goes. Of course that doesn't tie in to anything today really... but I am opinionated on that. And I think I stand somewhere in the middle. Does that make ME a bad person because I, as a partner of a foreigner, want special rights? I believe that if people want to come here they should at least do it the legal way. Because I have suffered and suffered through immigration, and as hard as it is to go through, I still do things the best way where I do not hurt either country.

I heard a story from "The American Life" (a podcast, very very popular, I think #1 in iTunes) about the Minute Men (they help patrol the border of the US and Mexico as volunteers to curb illegal immigration). I don't fully agree with what they do. I can understand some things, but doesn't everyone want a better life for themselves and their families?

I don't know, it's a very tough subject for me, you know, about the relations between the USA and Mexico. I don't want to sound like a dick buckus or anything but things need regulated to an extent. Especially when you work so hard to do things the legal way.

I'm sure I'll actually talk about that in a future podcast. I'd work on it now if I could but I am so tired I'll probably sleep soon.

As always, don't get me wrong. I'd come unglued without Mexicans. Some of them are so incredibly sexy. Mmm mmm good. I miss seeing them in Australia like you would not believe. It bums me out that I have a choice of either white guys or asian guys to look at in Melbourne. One Asian guy in particular that I have to look at every day. :)

Anyway time for me to go to sleep, I guess. Enough rambling from me. Hope the wkend was good for you.

Instead of making 1 a three part series, I scrapped that plan to only make two. In this episode (I hate calling these things episodes), my best friend Brandi and I talk between ourselves about Mexicans, our fears and phobias, and of course ourselves.

We talk about Animal Crossing for DS, the possible movie (?) based on Animal Crossing and a Wii version.

I told her before I started that I wanted this podcast to be around 15-30 minutes long but it ended up being about 45 minutes. We're crazy. No, really.

As you listen, please don't be offended. I joked about someone not answering my emails but please no hard feelings. You know who you are. :)

Did you miss Brandi's crazy URL for her MySpace page? It's here:
http://www.myspace.com/sn0w_c00kies

Of course, special thanks to OhMyPod.net for the publicity. And oh yes, for the Mac help.

And finally thanks to Ongline Podcast for the inspiration to press ahead. And for being the subject of one of my jokes. ;)

YES, I said that I would update on Tuesdays and Fridays... I had no idea I would post one today (Saturday). Brandi told me to go ahead and post it, as is. I had to change my podcast to be "explicit" because of the topic matter. But that's OK.

Listen by subscribing through iTunes (and soon Yahoo! Podcasts)...
or just listen here: IdioPod Number 1B

So, finally, the weblog has been updated to integrate closer into the site. It's not done yet pretty much because I got tired of working on it but it will most likely be finished by the end of Sunday. You can visit the new layout of the weblog here.

Also, I have added a page where you can find some images to link to my site with. I encourage that, actually. You can find the new page here (but there aren't any new images just yet.)

I also worked a little bit at idioPod.com if you want to take a look. The sites should mesh a bit better together. The front page of idioPod is a bit ugly right now, but it will have to stay that way for a bit.

Brandi and I are going to go ahead and work on podcast number 1B. I don't think 1C is going to exist because well, a lack of content. Plus I'm more than ready to get this show on the road. Hopefully in better quality too!

Special thanks goes to OhMyPod for their crazy plugging of me (heeeey) and my website on every podcast.

I have been contemplating whether to make a new podcast today or not and I ultimately decided against it. I'll do some work on it on Monday and post on Tuesday. Maybe I can get a video or something to put up... something like that.

You know what's funny, I haven't gone back and listened to my last one. I do know, however, that the quality is very, extremely on the same line as "hey, I just got a new Mac and now I can make podcasts" and I can do so much better. I know I can. It needs work. I know that. I remember at the end of it when I said "I know I sound Texan and I hate it." And it makes me giggle.

Needless to say, I have a lot to say. I am pretty distraught still over the whole immigration thing that keeps my life in constant turmoil. I still resent Australian immigration for refusing my visa to stay with him. Not only did it cost a lot of money to do, but it also crushed my hopes... temporarily of course.

It looks like I might be going to Chicago in March. I've read up on Canada and I don't think I have the time to pull off my evil stuff there. I think there is a wait of several days and that is several days that we don't have.

I'm not feeling entirely well today because I was supposed to work this morning. My boss told me that he'd give me a call to come in today or not and he never did, so I am assuming it's OK for me to stay home. See, the thing is that I am working really late at night with my other job... sometimes until 2 am. And when I have to go back to work in 5 hours, I'm not very "agreeable" if you know what I mean. I might have to pull that off tomorrow though.

My damn my stomach is hurting - and I don't have enough sick time to cover today, plus I'm not very sick either - I'm sure I'll be on the toilet later but that's okay and that's CERTAINLY too much information! But I think you love it, eh?

I realized that my writing doesn't really flow like water. It flows a bit like cold pancake syrup.

ANYWAY I'm in pain now - I have to go.

As Dr. Nick Riviera would say, "Hello everybody!"

I might need to clarify something that may or may not need clarified. Right now, my podcast will not be released on Fridays. I could have, yes, but I'm not. I planned to release the VidioPod episode on Friday but couldn't help myself. I'm still trying to think about what to put in the 2nd one (1B). I might just make 1B and then go to 2.

I am having some issues. I need to integrate the podcast and my weblog a little better. Is there an easy way to do that? Or do I just need to insert a link everytime I update it?

One of our mail processing systems went down yesterday so I left work early. Today it should be very busy. I am still missing 2 of my W-2's for this year! I'd like to hurry up and file my taxes so I can get my refund. No wait, I also need a miscellaneous income statement from Dreamhost too. The businesses here (for those in the land down under) have to be MAILED or AVAILABLE by 31 January.

Oh and today's my nephew's birthday. It's so funny because we're pretty much really interested in gaming. He's a little more interested I think but I still feel like a kid sometimes. I have a Wii that I haven't played for about a week now. I would love to say that I should have sold it for 2x the price but oh well. My DS hasn't been touched in about a month - hell, I have no idea where it is really. I only have 2 games for it too: Animal Crossing and Brain Age. I probably play World of Warcraft more than anything. And that's sad. I'm a bit pissed because I thought I would get another month for paying $40 for the expansion. It totally sucks that you pay that much just so you can pay the same amount per month and get nothing extra really. I hate companies that do that. I mean, these people have millions of subscribers... I don't even know the amount, like over 7 million I know. You multiply that by $12.99 (at least - I pay $13.99/month) and Blizzard's rolling in the dough. You'd THINK they'd make another Diablo or something. I'd even go for a World of Diablo.

I want to get another Mac. But I don't want it to suck. I don't really want a Macbook and I don't really want to shell out $2,000 for a Macbook Pro only so they can update it 2 weeks later. I'm thinking I should just wait for the next version of the OS to come out.

Anyway, today's another workday. Um, there are plenty of workdays for this week and next - no full days off for 2 weeks. (Just in case you don't know or if you're new here, I have 2 jobs - I don't need 2 jobs but it gives me extra goof-off money for bills and such.)

Well, I have to go in 10 min so I think I should finish getting ready. Bye now.

If you haven't figured it out already, and I hope that you have... the new podcast is out and there's a new "podcast" category here.

I haven't figured out the best way to do this because I'm really new at this but there is now an audio podcast and a video podcast.

You can subscribe through iTunes now. Unfortunately, that's the only way to do it for now.

Listen now:

IdioPod Number 1A: The Introduction
VidioPod Number 1: Monopoly Madness (we were bending the rules quite a lot)

Anyway, enjoy.

Ah, I did it. The first podcast is out. It's such a shame that I am having some issues that I can't really resolve today... so I will resolve them later. I haven't really brought myself to listen to it but I listened to a few seconds of it and the sound is really, really low. I looked at the volume for my voice wasn't at 100%. So I have learned from that.

My problem now is that I want to work on more but I am not going to do that. I don't want to burn myself out. The good thing is that I will be releasing a VidioPod (video podcast) on Friday. It's all ready to go.

I have also posted some more photos (just 3) in my photo albums.

I also want to say thank you for the listeners. I have actually gotten a bit of email so thank you. I've also gotten a few comments too. So good beans, eh?

The iTunes Store hasn't approved (I guess they have to approve it?) my feed so that's pretty impressive that I have the nice emails.

This is an exciting thing for me. I had a lot of fun doing it. I really thought that I would have a problem with content but I had too much. I was expecting about 7 minutes but doubled (then some) that. I had a cheat sheet too which I might continue to do for a while...

And oh yes, I need to stop saying UMMMM so much. :)

Anyway people, thanks. I appreciate your love.

I am going to go now because I have a dinner date tonight with Brandi.

OK, I'm outta here.

Say hello to the first podcast! Instead of going on and on about it, why don't you have a listen right here?

idioPod Number 1A: The Introduction - Direct Download

You can subscribe through iTunes now. Just click here to do that. Of course, you must get iTunes first if you don't have it.

Ah I'm a little bit frustrated. Even though I keep myself busy, I can't help but think about Gilbert. You see, today his mother flew back to Hong Kong. And I know how lonely he can get without his mother because he's a "Momma's Boy". For some reason, when he's left alone, I feel bad for him like how I wish I could be there to comfort him a bit. Usually at work I will give him a call and talk for about 10-15 minutes but I knew she was flying back today so I decided just to let them have some more time together.

I keep wanting to buy new stuff. I still want a Macbook but I'm going to have to do without until my Powerbook explodes from getting too hot. I can't really move in with Brandi because of the whole money thing and that frustrates me a bit too. You see, my biggest thing is that I need to be responsible. It would be irresponsible for me to incur new costs right now. I am working extremely hard to save money to go back to Australia, this time, to hopefully stay. I hate the uncertainty but I know that it will be worth it. All the money in the world is what my partner is worth.

I, at this moment, am missing him like a retard misses the point. (Which isn't a nice thing to say, I know that... but trying to add some humor) Valentine's Day, his birthday and Chinese New Year is coming up. These are days that I wanted to spend with him but can't since I am HERE in the US and he's THERE in Australia.

Good news is that he's coming to the US next month. I am thinking about dragging him to Canada where the wedding bells can ring. Anyway, even after all this time and the past several months of being separated, I still miss him and love him immensely. It's hard NOT to talk about it here. And I know that's nothing people really want to hear.

But yes, we'll be together somehow. I'm going to go to sleep now. I might get up late so I am not sure if what I planned will get done or not... but I will try. And I still haven't posted the pics from last night. :) And I won't tonight - I need to go to sleep.

Hello everybody. This just a simple update to expand on what I wrote late last night. Well not really, but there is a high possibility that podcast 1A will be ready by tomorrow evening. The production quality won't be great because I'm going to record and edit it in one day. But I think I have the time. Everything's ready though for the most part - as far as planning goes.

See, the big problem right now is that no one knows that I made this announcement. Why? Because no one knows that my website even exists anymore. My lapse from when I first had a website (when I was getting over 1,500 visitors daily) and now has been a long time. I'm extremely lucky to even get 20 visitors now. And probably 1% of the time people will actually stop and read what I have.

When I submit my podcast to iTunes which will be tomorrow, I am expecting that to rise a little bit. I am hoping that I can release something that will enlighten people how people are different. People are never going to conform to this "normalcy" which some people strive for. It's time to get to know everybody. I believe that I have a good thing going - but now it's only a matter of promotion.

I hate promotion. So if someone wants the job, go for it.

The biggest problem is that when I listen to other podcasts, I am at work. I can't go back to the site right away to make comments because of the nature of that job. Listening to my own podcast is going to drive me insane. I sound so nasal and unprofessional! Heh heh but that will change.

My biggest worry: when I leave, I will have to scale down production. THAT is the biggest reason why this wasn't done earlier. That's because when I'm in Australia I have very limited bandwidth - it might change by the time I get back.

Anyway... ANYWAY!!! Last night was a Monopoly war. We were all playing Spongebob Monopoly and good lord was it getting ugly. 1 player, let's call him Travis, was hogging all the money, putting up hotels like they were nothing... it was funny. His girlfriend lasted quite a while - but we were all conspiring and trading properties, and giving each other free rent. The game lasted for like 3 hours. Brandi went out first, then me, then Robin and of course Travis won. I feel sorry for him because Robin was beating the hell out of him everytime she landed on one of his properties with hotels... could you blame her though? I owned all the utilities at one point but even if people rolled 2 6s, I'd only get $120.

Brandi got a lot of it on video. I got some of it on video too which I will post very soon. I have some pictures which I'm going to grab today. If you want to look at it, head here. (I will be posting them later like in a minute or two - if you get this shortly after it's posted, most like they won't be there yet.) UPDATE: I haven't posted them yet and it's 2:45 am on Tuesday... sorry, I completely forgot to do that before I left and I am way too tired now... but they'll be up.

Anyway, today is a work day and I need to bathe & stuff. Everybody have fun and check back often.

As promised, 22 Jan 2007 has brought us news of a podcast.

I had hoped to release the first podcast today but due to some unexpected work commitments, I had to delay that but I'm going to break it down now to let you know what is going on, why I decided to go ahead and do a podcast and the future of this website.

Over the past year and a half I have been listening to podcasts such as The Feast of Fools, Ongline as well as a few others. I've listened to bad podcasts and have formed an idea of what I do and don't want in a podcast. This has been a year in the making and I have finally decided to move forward.

My main purpose is to close the gap between the "gay world" and the "straight world". The world I live in isn't in one or the other. My ideal world would be a place where everybody gets along and people learn from each other. It doesn't matter what ethnic background or who you are, we can all learn from each other. And that is what I aim to do.

I am a bisexual (mostly gay) man but it doesn't make me who I am. I am a person who has passion towards all people and I understand that everyone, whether they agree with my lifestyle or not, needs to communicate.

Some days my podcast will feature only me and other days it will feature other people... strangers. People from every corner of the world. I think this has a little to do with the fact that I am in an interracial relationship with someone of a different nationality. The struggle that I have had to endure is endless it seems... and it's time to educate so we can move forward and make the world a better place.

New podcasts will be released each week. For the first month or two, they will usually be released on Tuesdays every week. As I get more comfortable with "talking to myself" I will try to release new ones on Tuesdays and Fridays.

My first podcast will be split into three separate podcasts - each being 15-30 minutes in length. The first one will definitely be an introduction on who I am, what I am, what issues I think are imporant as well as a few other things. By the third one, you will meet other frequent guests on my podcast.

My podcast project will live at idiopod.com but will be merged with this one. The look, feel and navigation will remain the same with both sites.

My main concern is to educate on an array of topics, not make money and not to feed my ego. idioPod will always be free.

I appreciate the inspiration that I have gotten from everybody to make this happen. And I know you won't be disappointed. Great things are coming... and though I hated to write on here "soon", that is how things HAVE to be. Thank you all so much especially from the inspiration I've gotten from the above-listed podcasts.

Best wishes,
Ben

It's an exciting day for me. I have assumed that Hillary would run for President a long time ago, but now it's official. And isn't this exciting?! I'm not a very political person... oooh not by a mile. I try to leave politics out of my weblogs for the most part, but this is wonderful. To sum up all the nerd talk, I believe she'll do a great job. I'm not going to vote for her just because she would be the first woman President though. I firmly believe that she would do an awesome job. You should read about the great things she's done for women's rights and child healthcare. She was one of the most active First Ladies ever.

This is probably my parents' worst nightmare come true. They're deeply Republican. THEY are part of the reason why we have to put up with 8 years of W. And they know that I simply adore our former First Lady. Especially the Clintons!

Over the 22nd, 23rd, and 24th, she'll be holding some live chat sessions answering questions. The details are at her website:

HillaryClinton.com

Um, hello!

How are you? I hope you're doing well. I'm doing alright. Today was my first day off in a long time and as I posted earlier, my website has been having some facelifts. I'm still not done, but that's okay.

Weird, last night I had a dream about fish. I dreamt I was swimming with the sharks and caught a fish. My first thought was to bring it home for Gilbert to eat. I guess I assumed he would appreciate it for some reason. But of course, like fish out of water, it flipped and flopped around and the next thing I know it's a dog. Then I put it back in the water.

I had a book to decipher dreams a long time ago in Australia. Of course it's not here because that's extra weight. But there is Dream Moods for that kind of thing now. And this is what it said.

My dreams are usually vivid and in color. I usually remember them in too much detail which has people guessing that I just make it up as I go along. I couldn't tell you every single thing that happens in all my dreams... I mean, who could?

A lot of my dreams revolve around me going to Australia and not being able to find my partner. I could also say the same thing about when I show up at the airport with no travel documents or money. For a while, I would constantly dream that Gilbert wasn't there... ever. Over the past 6 months, they've been more about being with him and me just appreciating the whole moment of being together. Even in my dreams it's a great thing.

I've been told a few times in this relationship (and a few times in my past relationships) that I am a bit selfish. Sometimes I can see that because I put myself first and foremost most of the time. But the idea of sharing my life and my feelings (and fish!) with him make me happy. I'm in a good mood today though yeah, I did lose the fish in the longrun.

I know he'd probably want to fry the thing whole... Oh and I have to mention that I don't even really like to eat fresh fish. I will but only if I have to.

To sum things up, the unconcious mind is an interesting thing. The things we think in the back of our heads are astounding! Dreaming is great - especially when I'm on some sleeping medications or even allergy meds... heh heh. Nyquil is great.

Anyway ladies and gentlemen, I hope you find yourselves well. (And my friend April said that... I had to copy her.) Make sure you check my new link page for some pretty cool listening material. And link me. Or something. Thanks.

Just as a side note, I am working hard on getting things ready for Monday. Yeah, things may actually happen like I wanted them to so that’s good. Good news for all of us, isn’t it? (Of course it is good news.)

I have updated the fun stuff/links page. No wait a minute, I removed it and added just a links page. Why? Because it was basically links to begin with. Originally, I was going to put a lot of nice things there but that just didn’t happen. Go figure. So I have added quite a few more links to the podcasts that I listen to. And I guess a few donation links and such.

I have also updated the pictures entrance. No new pictures. Not yet. I have some that I am hesitant to post - of course not of me. I don’t think I’ll be that mean.

Over the weekend, the whole website (slightly possible is the weblog) will be changed to reflect version, um, 1.3 or whatever you want to call it.

Anyway, with that said, please link to my website. I need your love right now.

Just a quick and simple entry before I go to sleep... nothing major.

Tomorrow I have to pull off another 7 am to midnight workday. I did not want to do that, but oh well. I'll deal. But since I have to do that tomorrow, that means I have the full day on Friday and Saturday off. So hooray for that. That makes it completely worth it.

I guess the cold streak is over because the temperature is beginning to rise again. The cold weather was nice while it lasted. Such a shame it's supposed to rain for like a full week. I doubt that will happen though. The weather forecast is wrong about 90% of the time here. No one really knows what's going to happen.

I have heard nothing from my agent regarding school. I have sent plenty of emails to them asking what the hell is going on, but I have gotten nothing back. This is pretty scary because I really need to get my shit together and go. I am missing my boyfriend like crazy and I am missing Australia too. The longer I wait the more I think I'm not going back. If I could leave today I would... but just for a week right now. A short vacation or something like that would be nice. Especially with him.

The thing about losing my job is just speculation. They did make the announcement, but it's not imminent or anything.

I feel like I'm repeating myself from yesterday... but I did talk to Gilbert today and he'll be coming to the US sometime in March. I want to do something nice for him while he's here but what... I always want to but never get around to doing it.

I planned on making some updates to my website but of course that was assuming that I worked a decent time today. God, I woke up at 5 am to go to work and I just finished at 12:30 am. And, well, I'm not in bed. If Gilbert were here, he'd kill me or just tranquilize me a bit. He'd probably try with warm milk and that would make me barf.

I also picked up the expansion to WoW this afternoon and played it a little bit. About 40 minutes into it, I was like well, time to jump in bed. I can't really justify buying the expansion when I don't play enough as it is... maybe it's just to be as cool as everybody else who's addicted to it. I don't know. (And the store pickup was really, really slow and really, really bad. I was sure to tell Best Buy all about it.)

The temperature where I live is below the freezing mark. I had to drive back home with ice everywhere. Things you don't mix in Texas: Drivers and ice. When I lived in New York, I drove in the ice, snow, sleet, etc. People here turn down-right stupid when it drizzles. So you can see what joys I got to see when I came back home. But it's cold... perfect sleeping weather but it would be better if I had someone to sleep with.

It was the first time today that I heard that there is a possibility that I will lose my job in March. Um, my decent-paying job. It's not anything I've done wrong though, it's the US govt for being so cheap with services for the good (and usefulness) of the nation. Of course, a majority of southerners think that if it doesn't involve guns, weapons and army tanks, it's wasting tax money. I so can't believe that the American public let that guy have another run for president. But of course the other candidate wasn't better and that's coming from a Democrat. Anyway, about my potential job loss, if I do lose this job that will be very, very bad. It's really scary and might have me scrambling to replan.

But as much as people want to hear about me staying in the USA, I definitely will not be staying in Texas. I am getting really, really sick of this place. I guess it really depends on what Gilbert wants to do because I'm going to be with him no matter what anybody says. That's because I like that man in a business suit. He's so sexy that way.

ANYWAY! It's time for bed. My eyes are having a hard time staying open. Thank god tomorrow is 1/2 a day for me (an 8 hour day). Thursday, I will have to work another 16 hours I bet. Something tells me we're only going to get an announcement on Monday. :)

Hi there. I thought I'd update you a little bit on what's going on. The 22nd is only a week away and well, I haven't really planned anything. Over the past week or so, it's been really hard to do any planning. Especially when I get absolutely nothing done on the weekends. It's no one's fault but my own. I had everything ready to last weekend but I ended up making a road trip.

Anyway! If I keep going I'm really going to reveal what I'm going to do and that's no good.

So, I pre-ordered World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade about a week ago. This morning I get an email from the store I bought it from saying that it's ready to be picked up. So I drive a few cities over to pick it up only so they can say - oh, we can't give those yet until tomorrow. So I was like great, because tomorrow I have to go to work at both jobs. Then I get home and I get another email a few hours later saying, no, it's not ready until tomorrow actually. It's one of the very many reasons why I hate Best Buy.

You know what's the funny thing? I don't even need it. I just figure that it's totally going to suck playing it when I can't do anything. It's like gay.com and their wonderful chat... I'm surprised that you can use vowels without paying their ridiculous monthly charges. For a while, I paid the stupid monthly subscription. Then I was like, hey, I still have to view these ads, they still harass me to pay - they want more money on top of what I was giving them. Their chat system blows and the quality of morals people have there are questionable. Plus I didn't need it. I paid to get rid of the thousands of restrictions they have. I haven't bothered going to the site in months.

In a little more than a month is Chinese New Year. For the past several years with my partner I've completely ignored it. He loves it and I never really understood why. I understand that a lot of Asians are excited about it. In a move to "understand" my partner more (yes, even after several years together) I am trying to get more involved. On Saturday, I went to the Hong Kong Shopping Mall in Houston and I started thinking how I need to go closer to Chinese New Year so that's what I'm going to do.

But I thought I'd post a little bit to enlighten those who don't know much about Chinese New Year (like me!)... these are superstitions for the New Year period (which lasts 15 days I think):

* Buying a pair of shoes is considered bad luck. The word "shoes" is a homonym to the word for "rough" in Cantonese.
* Buying a pair of pants is considered bad luck. The word "pants" is a homonym to the word for "bitter" in Cantonese. (Although some perceive it to be positive as the word 'pants' in Cantonese could be a homonym to the word for "wealth".)
* A hair-cut is considered bad luck. The word "hair" is a homonym to the word for "prosperity". Thus "cutting hair" could be perceived as "cutting your prosperity" in Cantonese.
* Candy is eaten to ensure the eater a "sweet" year.
* Sweeping the floor is considered bad luck, as it will sweep away the good fortune and luck for the new year; as for having a bath will wash away the good fortune.
* Talking about death is inappropriate for the first few days of Chinese New Year, as it is considered inauspicious as well.
* Buying books is bad luck, because it is a homonym to the word "lose".
* Opening windows and/or doors is considered to 'bring in' the good luck of the new year.
* Switching on the lights for the night is considered good luck to 'scare away' ghosts and misfortunate spirits that may compromise the luck and fortune of the new year.

So I guess a word of advice is to avoid Chinese people during this period because they don't bathe. Heh heh, okay not really. If you want to read more, you can go here. It's where I got the list above.

I wanted to be back in Australia for this time of the year, but of course I won't make it. Or for Gilbert's birthday either. Sad really.

Anyway, I think I'll go now. Hope everyone is well.

Today (or yesterday really) was the day from hell. Ran into a fence (in a car) and messed up quite a bit of the body. Parked at a shopping center thinking that I could just park there for a few hours while I ran the road with a friend - got towed. Had to pay $180 to get the car out.

But you know, I think worse things could have happened. Yes, I'm out 180 well-earned dollars, but I should have known better. As far as the hitting the fence, I shouldn't have been talking on my phone while trying to get out of the apartment complex I was at. So I think I deserved what "bad luck" I got.

Good thing, I ate at Taco Cabana. And I saw Brandi's hot Indian friend. And I also got some green tea with plum. What could be better than that? Didn't see everybody that I would like, but that's OK. Another time perhaps.

Sleepy. Tired. Must go to work tomorrow. So goodnight.

Hey everybody. Sorry for the lack of real journal entries. I know that you have been on the edge of your seats waiting for me to say something that is meaningful and life-changing. Well of course, I don't have anything intelligent to say... when have I said anything intelligent?

This week is probably the hardest work week I have had in a while. I have had to work both jobs for a few days and it's like me going from one job at night to the next in the morning then to the other one at night. 3-5 hours of sleep in 2 days doesn't do a Ben good.

In other news, Apple has released details about their iPhone. They also got a lawsuit from it too from Cisco Systems. I think Apple goes to court more than my sister's ex husband. Well, having looked at the details of the new phone, I have to say that I would love to have one if they weren't $499 and $599. Plus it's with Cingular. As Willy Wonka would say, "Uh, ewww". Sorry, but I don't need a phone that costs about 1/2 of a new laptop or 2 crappy PCs. Apple TV... what's the whole point? Spend money on the iTunes Music Store, watch it on a TV. Wow... that's impressive in a sarcastic way. It doesn't record shows, it doesn't do anything but download music and shows from the computer. Yet, it comes with the Apple price tag, $299. Overpriced, but the Mac zealots will buy into it. They always do.

I'm not sure if I have to go to work tomorrow or not. My boss told me to come in on Thursday, but he didn't give me a time - he said he'd call me about it. So, I am just going to turn down my phone tonight so I don't hear it in the morning and sleep until noon if I can. I go in Friday whether I want to or not. I might just get out of here for the weekend or something. Not too sure yet if I want to or not.

I am going to try to challenge myself and get into better shape. I am finding that it is hard not to get bored and eat and boy is it taking its toll on me. Well, not that anybody can notice except for me. It's getting so much easier to gain weight... and I am staying hungry as heck! God, why couldn't I be skinny forever?!

Anyway, it's time for me to head to sleep. Goodnight folks.

Hey, as we can all see, I have been working on improving my website, bit by bit. I have to be upfront and honest with you, updating a website isn't as easy as it used to be because I sit for about 15-30 minutes then say, "You know what, let me find something else to do." But still, it's getting there.

What's new? Why, there is a new contact page with new contact options by Microsoft Messenger (Windows Live Messenger for you PC users) and Skype. I'm contemplating removing ICQ because I pretty much have stopped using that. I don't think there's been a software update for Macs since 2003. Despite that, you can go here to take a look at the new contact page.

What's coming soon is an update to the journal and its layout. It has really bothered me that it doesn't fit the rest of the site but it's the most involved too. I'm sure I can get something temporary set up.

Please do not forget to link to my website when you can. I do need the traffic.

I thought I'd post this video that I found in my MySpace bulletins.

It goes to show you that even the smallest things can brighten your day. When you think the world's against you, it's really not.

For more information, you can visit The Free Hugs Campaign. The music by an Australian band called Sick Puppies called "All The Same" can be found here at iTunes.

No real time to write anything meaningful today, maybe tomorrow - but I'm sure if you watch the video, you'll get a smile out of it.

It's a bit crazy that the entry before this one (not the site update one) was posted. I waited like 10 minutes for it to post but, well, it looked like it didn't. Instead of trying again, I just said screw it because it was just ranting. I'm growing terribly, terribly irritated with limitations of basic human rights.

What gets me is that people seem to think that if gay marriage is allowed, then people will want to marry their goats, dogs, cats and stuff like that. Hopefully not a lot of people want to go pursue that. I mean, come on, where do we draw the line? We draw it when people are being treated like people and not like some kind of two-headed turtle.

The whole divorce rate thing here is crazy. I don't even think half of people's first marriages last.

But right now, I am concentrating on some kind of immigration law that would let my partner STAY with me here in the USA if it came down to that. He's a smart guy... very professional... a very good money-manager (for the most part... um, for big corporations) yet... you know, he's not good enough because he's partnered with me... and has been!

I guess in several ways I am just repeating myself. I'm going to post a few more photos up of yesterday (which was Brandi's b'day). I went out to eat with her at a mexican restaurant and I got a salad. Well it looked like someone barfed on it. Not the most presentable salad I have ever seen. Still it was OK. After that we went shopping for a bit and then to her friend's house. Then I came home. Good god was it foggy. The stupid temperature changes around here lately have been crazy. I can't think of a single day that it's actually been really super cold.

Anyway, I have to go to work today. Apparently I totally skipped last Tuesday. I was supposed to work Tuesday and Wednesday. I worked Wednesday and came in Thursday to find out that I didn't work that day. So I skipped. Today is the day that I get to talk to my supervisor about it - I don't think out of any of my jobs I have just not shown up. So hopefully I won't get put on unpaid leave. I don't need that right now.

I haven't been playing my Wii much either. I pretty much wake up, go to work then come home and well, it sucks. Yesterday was a nice change from that.

Please, please, please promote my website if you like it. :)

Hello, just wanted to let you guys and girls know of some changes... well if you're on the front page right now, you'll see that this is a big change. I'm still not finished yet though. Over the next few weeks, I'm very sure that I'm going to make some changes to this page as well as others.

I have also added a new linking image if you want to steal it. I hope to see these things littered everywhere!

And don't forget to link it back to Idiologic.com for me. I'd really appreciate it.

More updates and announcements are coming in the next few weeks. The good thing is that you only will have to wait until the 22nd for one.

I was just surfing the net when I come across an article, courtesy of Netscape, about a museum display that is dedicated to homosexuality. You would not imagine all the retarded stuff I was reading there by the way of comments.

I am not gay because I am trying to piss people off. I like men because men make me happy. It just so happens that I fell in love with a man seven years ago. And you know what, I don't regret it at all.

A lot of people argue that sexuality isn't discovered until the puberty years. Well, I'm sure that it lingers inside for a long time before someone "discovers" it.

I have to admit that it is upsetting that my partner and I can't have children which share both of our DNA, but maybe someday.

I also have to state that I have never been sexually molested. Never.

I am motivated as much as any man can possibly be. I'm a bit lazy, but I can accomplish exactly what a heterosexual man can.

Not every gay man has a lisp, is feminine or enjoys shopping. I don't have or do any of those things, honestly.

Unfortunately, anybody with a pulse can get AIDS. It is not an incurable disease that only affects gay men. Wrap it up in a condom each time to reduce the risk.

I am so tired of people bring up religion--their religion--into what who I am and why I need to change. I'm tired of people's religious and personal beliefs shaping the future of everybody. I'm tired of not feeling like an equal to everybody else - and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of that being the only reason why deserving, same-sex couples can't get married.

And don't even get me started on the immigration issue...

Really what is bothering me today is that I can't give my partner what he wants as far as children go. I have been thinking about that lately and don't know how to fix it... but time will tell.

That is all I wanted to say... another post comes tomorrow.

And I'm here once again... not for anything exciting though. It's great how people just message me out of nowhere and have the nerve to ask me what I'm looking for. One guy just IMed me (not from the site) and said "ASL" and I refuse to answer that with a response. So I said hi. He said "So what are you lookin for" and of course I say nothing, because I'm not. Then I said friends are fine and he told me he has plenty - so what's the fucking point? There was none. That just confirms that there are a lot of dicky guys out there who just want in people's pants. Gay, straight, they're all the same.

Of course, then there are the sweet ones. The sweet ones are the one who read this. I'm sure you've figured that out already.

In a few weeks I will be making a new announcement and right now I am working on fixing up my website. You may have noticed that already. I fixed up some issues with the poll not showing up with Webkit-based browsers (Safari, Omniweb, Shiira, etc). It was a simple problem.

I am still missing the husband a lot. The more I hear about people being a couple, the more jealous I am getting. I finally got over dealing with straight couples, now it's on to cute gay couples. Damn them! I'm jealous that people have their partners with them and I can't do that... legally... yet.

And someone else just told me I'm selfish. Wow, am I really that selfish?

It was a hard day of work, it was. I had to work 3 hours over what was originally scheduled but still, it's fine. This was also at the job that I hated. I had to basically give myself some time to get over my hatred of that stupid supervisor. I'm fine now.

One of the meebo developers (?) sent me a blog comment saying that meebo does in fact work with Opera. I know there was a time that it did... but I was thinking that it doesn't really work too well from the widget from this site. For some reason it never wants to send the message after a return. Maybe I'm overlooking something. Opera for Wii does have some issues with it, but that, most likely is either Opera's or Nintendo's fault.

For those who don't know what the heck I'm talking about, meebo is integrated on my site at the webcams and contact area. It lets me communicate with my website visitors without the need to start a chat with a messenger - fast and painless, you bet!

So I guess I should pimp Opera out a little bit while I can. I still love Opera but I was getting pretty impatient with my site not working with it fully when I was promoting it so much. Safari-based (KDE) browsers don't really like it too well. Hopefully I can get some code changed soon.

Anyway:

I'm sounding like I'm doing nothing but advertising and well, in a way I am. These products which are both free are awesome!

OH YES: Brandi's birthday is on Friday, 5 Jan. Go to her MySpace page and send her a message (because I know everybody has a MySpace page now). I saw Brandi for the first time since the 31st because I was afraid she was really mad at me - and she had reasons that were legitimate. I went shopping with her with intentions of buying another Wiimote but I forgot about it and she bought stuff to make cheese dip. After tonight, I have to remind myself that I need to watch what I eat! Definitely!

Oh yes, and people, I am very opinionated about the whole potential reversal of the Massachusetts gay marriage thing. If you are straight, answer me this: How can allowing someone of the same sex get married ruin your marriage? Uh huh... nothing direct. That's what I thought. That's EXACTLY the point I wanted to make - and I think that's really why I wanted to blog tonight.

It's after 2 am and I need to sleep. I do the work thing tomorrow, then go back to sleep. So yeah, exciting stuff I know!

I thought I'd post something before I went to sleep... and damn it's cold in here. I don't know what the deal is. I do have the fan on low just so the air will circulate but it was cold in here before that. Oh that's because it's 39º F outside (a tiny bit less than 4º C). Maybe the fan's not a good idea...

Anyway, a little bit of what I have been doing...

I have downloaded Songbird and have tried it out. It's pretty neat but I don't see it replacing iTunes anytime soon (for me anyway). Neat concept though. (It's basically an open source music player that's similar to iTunes) If you want to try it out, here's the link and download:

I bought Elebits today and have been playing. It's one of those games I will probably stop playing for a while in a week or two. It's cool to totally trash a house, even if it's a virtual one. Cool concept and it kept me amused for a few hours.

I've been using Opera for Wii for a while, neat stuff but I'm a little sad that it doesn't work with Meebo. Well I'm sad that Meebo doesn't work with Opera, period. I sorta migrated to Firefox 2.0 anyway.

I'm going crazy buying stuff and I need to stop! OK, not too crazy. I can't really take too much with me when I move back to Melbourne.

I don't have any New Years pictures like I was hoping. I might take some more photos soon.

And also, would you like to help me promote my website? Please?!

The button is here. Just link it to my website, idiologic.com.

OK, that's all I wanted to say really. I hope everybody had a great day and I hope everybody ate their cabbage and black eyed peas. (It's tradition here...) Next up is Chinese New Year on 18 Feb, a few weeks after I was supposed to originally go back to Australia - but it's OK... it really is.

I started a weblog entry yesterday but due to all the distractions, I couldn't finish it and by the time it was all over, I didn't want to finish it. It was one of those things.

Well with that out of the way, Happy New Year and may your year be prosperous and exciting. This year I have two goals... one is easy and one is hard:

1. Lose 5-10 pounds of fat or gain 5-10 pounds of muscle. Yeah, what would a new year goal be without dealing with my health? Since I've been back in the USA I have gained about 10 pounds. Yeah, Americans love to eat.

2. Get myself back to Australia. Of course that is probably going to happen anyway. But I thought it would be nice to add it. That is one of the goals. That also ties into the other part of this goal, to get my career back on track, whatever it may be.

So that is it.

I took it easy this year because well, I apparently wasn't feeling it this year. I can't say that I stayed completely still, but I didn't drink at all. I wasn't in the mood to be around a lot of drunk people this year. I especially didn't want to spend it in a crowded bar full of rednecks. And I so didn't want to see anybody I went to school with. So I skipped out on that. Not because I'm an ASS but because I just don't really enjoy doing those things.

But that's past and I am not feeling well today. I don't know what the deal is. So I'll leave now. :)