"That horse done drank that bottle of whiskey..."

Wow, the subject really is something I just heard my father say. It's incredible that I escaped talking like... someone who grew up in southeast Texas.

It's amazing that my family expects me to stay in the area where I can sit around doing nothing in a nice trailer (one that might be double-wide, even), drinking beer and watching those knee-slapping funny videos that come on TBS 18 times a day. And of course, I would also have to be terribly out of shape too and weigh about 100 pounds more than what I do now.

Again, my Sunday has been planned for me again. And yes, I'm going to bitch about it... I get to go help my grandfather pull weeds in his garden that probably hasn't been plucked in about 8 months. You know, since I am a farm boy and all... mmm hmm, yeah. And of course I'll be lectured about how bad I need to do "homefront security" and how it's the best job ever. Oh, and this is the same person who complains because nursing is a "woman's job" and my cousin's degree is a "complete waste of time" because it's artsy/creative. You know, screw the part about being happy with what you do.

I remember when my grandmother came out of the hospital from back surgery, my family was frantically going back and forth helping her - then I said I would probably go back to Australia to do nursing. Well, then it was my job to do everything... he'd say, "Well, you better get used to doing this if you're going to be a nurse." And of course, in a way he's right, BUT there are some things I am not qualified to do and he just didn't understand that. I do love to help, but I like to help when I am trained and qualified to do it.

My grandmother was the one who actually told me that I should do nursing or physical therapy. I was actually delighted to hear that because if it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't be doing what I am doing. She's a good, strong woman and it's one of the reasons why it's hard for me to go back to Melbourne. But, she's one of the ones who throws me in the bus for a guilt trip each and every time I see her about not staying.

My parents, on the other hand, haven't offered me much emotional or mental support to do it. They really never have except that one time when I said I was going into the Army (which thank god I didn't do). After that, they really didn't help me much with anything to go towards my goals. I do admit that they have helped me a lot over the years when I get stuck in some tight spots, but in the long-run... I've been pretty much on my own. By the time I finish, I will be in about $40,000 of debt including the previous run of wasting my time and money. Aaaah, the joys of getting educated.

So why would I stay when I can get out in the world and enjoy what it has to offer? Exactly. I'm so not like the people here - I need out of this place, again... and again... and again...